The Equestrian Wrestling Federation
by fred2266
Summary: Professional wrestling has come to Equestria! Filthy Rich put his money to good use, and was able to construct the Equestrian Wrestling Federation from the GROUND UP. Join the revolution, and watch the many colorful and eccentric characters of the EWF grow with the product. See their highs, see their lows, see their triumphs. (Takes place in humanized Equestria. No ponies.)
1. The Official Roster

Lunacy:

Twilight Sparkle  
Sunset Shimmer  
Lightning Dust  
Spike  
Shining Armor  
Diamond Tiara  
Silver Spoon  
Cadance  
Flash Sentry  
Scootaloo  
Rarity  
Lyra  
Bon Bon  
Flitter  
Cloudchaser  
Snails  
Snips  
Fancypants  
Fleur de Lis  
Colgate  
Horsepower  
Berry Punch  
"The Professor" Bill Neigh  
Clip Clop  
Dance Fever  
Hugh Jelly  
Geri  
Gizmo  
Turf  
Hoops  
Dumb-Bell  
Twist  
Gustave Le Grand  
Honeycomb  
"The Killer Bee" Midnight Strike  
Sparkler  
Neon Lights  
Rumble  
Star Swirl the Bearded  
Overdrive  
Garble (Commentator)  
Ahuiztol (Commentator)

Sublime:

Rainbow Dash  
Pinkie Pie  
The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie  
Spitfire  
Soarin  
Big MacIntosh  
Apple Bloom  
Applejack  
Fluttershy  
Thunderlane  
Sweetie Belle  
Octavia  
Aloe  
Lotus Blossom  
Cheerilee  
Daring Do  
Braeburn  
Blueblood  
Caramel  
Photo Finish  
Granny Smith  
Doughnut Joe  
Vinyl Scratch  
Hoity Toity  
Pipsqueak  
Red Delicious  
Golden Delicious  
Happy Trails  
Ace  
Marble Pie (alternately Inkie Pie  
Limestone Pie (alternately Blinkie Pie)  
Steamer  
Babs Seed  
Uncle Wing  
Sweet Tooth  
Nurse Redheart  
Pretty Vision  
Davenport  
Check Mate  
Commander Hurricane  
Discord (Commentator)  
Dr. Whooves (Commentator)

Tag Team's:

Lunacy:

Sunset Shimmer and Lightning Dust (More of an alliance, really.)  
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.  
Lyra and Bon Bon.  
Flitter and Cloudchaser.  
Diamond Tiara and Turf.  
Turf and Silver Spoon.  
Rarity and Twilight Sparkle (Again. More of an alliance and friendship.)  
Cadance and Twilight Sparkle (Friendship.)  
BroMans (Shining Armor and Flash Sentry)  
Snips and Snails  
EGO (Gustave Le Grand and Fancypants) (With Fleur de Lis as manager)  
Hoops and Dumb-Bell  
Horsepower and Rumble

Sublime:

Beauty Shot - Photo Finish and Pretty Vision  
Aloe and Lotus  
The Ghost Girls - Inkie Pie and Blinkie Pie  
The Wonderbolts - Soarin and Spitfire (Cannot compete for EITHER tag team title because of gender restrictions, but that's why intergender matches exist.)  
Red Delicious and Golden Delicious  
Braeburn and Happy Trails  
Canterlot Class - Hoity Toity and Blueblood  
Couch-Mate - Davenport and Check Mate  
Vinyl Scratch and Octavia  
The Apple Dynasty can also contain many tag teams

Stables:

Lunacy:

The Mean Girls - Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Turf  
The Oddities - "The Professor" Bill Neigh, Clip Clop, Hugh Jelly, Dance Fever, "The Killer Bee" Midnight Strike (Basically the rejects of my brand. If they have to, though, they are not afraid to face off against each other.)  
Rumble Roses - Rumble, Flitter, and Cloudchaser. (Stable name based off of a video game with the same name.) (Horsepower is not apart of the stable, but Flitter and Cloudchaser will often manage the team of him and Rumble.)

Sublime:

The Apple Dynasty - Applejack, Big MacIntosh, Apple Bloom, Granny Smith, Breaburn, Babs Seed, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Happy Trails, and Sweet Tooth.  
Apple Corre - Big MacIntosh, Apple Bloom, and Applejack (Managed by Granny Smith.) (Mini-stable that coincides with The Apple Dynasty.)

Champions:

Lunacy:

Women's Eternal World Champion: To be determined  
Champion of Carnage: To be determined  
Chick Combo Champions: To be determined  
Crater Chick Champion: To be determined

Sublime:

World Fighters Champion: To be determined  
World Brawlers Champion: To be determined  
International Champion: To be determined  
Sublime Tag Team Champions: To be determined

Shared:

Combos of Carnage Tag Team Champions: To be determined


	2. Lunacy - 1-1-14

The shows starts off with the lights turned off after the EWF logo encases the screen. The lights slowly dim on, and the capacity crowd begins cheering, as they prepare for the newest initiative in Equestrian entertainment: the Equestrian Wrestling Federation.

The camera zooms all across the crowd, trying to catch as many of the fans' and their doofy faces as possible.

We cut to the commentator's table next to ringside, where strange looking Ahuizotl is posting angry blog-posts on his "Daring Do SUCKS" tumblr. Next to him, Garble is yanking at his tie uncomfortably. Sooner or later, he yanks it off and throws it behind him in frustration.

Garble's eyes go wide as he leans in against the table.

"What? W-we're on? Dammit!" He curses in whisper-form. "Hey, narrow-eyes...you hear that?"

"JUST A MINUTE!" Ahuizotl screeches. "THE WORLD MUST KNOW OF MY UNDENYING HATE FOR DARING D-"

Suddenly, Garble puts his feet up on the commentary table, knocking Ahuizotl's laptop down to the floor.

"Hello, ladies and germs," Garble welcomes. "And thanks for spending your pathetic lives with us from now on."

Ahuizotl fumes. "YOU BRAT!"

Suddenly, the EWF lose all of their funds, and must resort to the shitty style of text formatting.

Garble: -Rolls his eyes- I'm Garble, the coolest mofo to ever barge into your living room.

Ahuizotl: And I am AHUIZOTL! Sworn nemesis of DARING DO! -Cackles- Welcome to the Equestrian Wrestling Federation! The newest source of entertainment in Equestria!

Garble: Just so everybody is aware...it was either this, or I work at a Twizzler's factory...

Ahuizotl: Oh, COME ON, boy! It won't be so bad, I'm sure...although...I am a bit disappointed that Daring Do is not on this roster-WHERE IS DARING DO?!

Garble: Hey, I've got my enemies, too! I hope Spike has a lava-pool match against himself! -Snorts-

Ahuizotl: I hope Daring Do gets traded to Lunacy so I can RIP HER APARRRRRRTTTT!

-They are yelled at in their ear-piece again-

Ahuizotl: Oh no! We're stalling, apparently! -Cries- WE ARE SO BAD AT THIS!

Garble: Hell, everyone is going to be...nobody on this roster has ever even wrestled before...

Filthy Rich in headphones: NO, DAMMIT! YOU CAN'T SAY THAT! THE FANS ARE SUPPOSED TO THINK THAT WRESTLING IS REAL!

Garble: DAMMIT!

Ahuizotl: -Gulps- I pray for you, boy...

Garble: -Listens in, and nods. Suddenly gets cocky again- Lucky for everybody at home, me and narrow-eyes here are going to be calling the action that happens inside that ring. Naturally, you jerks should get the best that there is...

Ahuizotl: WHAT'S AN ARMDRAG?!

-Garble facepalms-

Ahuizotl: Yes, yes! HEHE-I was just testing our fans' knowledge of the iconic ARM-DRAG that uhhh...Louie Ecoli used back in the beginning stages of modern Equestrian wrestling!

Garble: Don't expect to see THAT many armdrags, though...the Equestrian Wrestling Federation is all about bringing the SMASH-MOUTH side of professional wrestling across syndicated television! We're talking steel chair shots, hot women, and OIL...

Ahuizotl: So...much...oil...-imagines Daring Do with a lot of oil on in her wrestling getup- AHHHH MY SANITY!

Garble: -Points at his partner- Yup...you nerds guessed it right...HE'LL be the weird one...

Ahuizotl: The days of 45 minute hugs and traditional "point systems" are OVER! It's this simple: If a superstar wants to get to the top here in the EWF, they'll have to break hearts, forge alliances, and do a slew of underhanded tactics!

Garble: Well, the COOL ones will...the losers will play it fair, and never end up anywhere...

Ahuizotl: We will learn every superstar's goals, and if they will be "cool" or a "loser", as you say, as time goes on...

Garble: Enough talk, though! More will be explained when need be! Let's FIGHT!

Ahuizotl: -Cowers- I FORGOT MY SPANDEX! BE GENTLE!

-Garble raises an eyebrow, and slowly looks at the camera-

Garble: It's gonna be a LOOOOONNGGG journey...

_NO CHANCE IN HELL!_

-The crowd rises and applauds-

Ahuizotl: OH YES! We are back, with the OWNER of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation...FILTHY RICH!

Garble: The guy that signs ALL the checks, bro. Don't say anything stupid. You'll regret it.

Ahuizotl: Like you did just earlier? -Smirks-

Garble: ...

-Flithy Rich struts down the ramp, and enters the ring. He plays to the crowd, and they begin to cheer some more. Filthy Rich smiles as he motions for a mic. He gets one as the announcer whom I have no idea who it is yet gives him his/her. Again dunno-

Filthy Rich: ARE YA READY FOR SOME WRESTLIIINGG? -Crowd cheers- That's wonderful to hear! -Looks around- Wow...the first night in business, and we've got a packed house...how 'bout that? Well, ladies and gentleman, I am Filthy Rich. I'm the man who had a dream, and that dream was to bring the world of professional wrestling BACK to Equestria! As you may know, pro wrestling was banned from Equestria 35 years ago for being "in poor conduct"...the day pro wrestling went off television, I was 9...I was DEVASTATED. Me and my dad used to watch it every Saturday. Well, little Filthy grew up to be a GREAT businessman, just like his old man...I opened Barnyard Bargains in Loneyville, and I've singlehandedly UPPED the stock exchange, but when I'm old and gray...well, more older and grayer than I already am -chuckles-, I believe THIS...THIS...will be my GREATEST accomplishment. Not only using my hard-earned money to open up my own wrestling company, but putting professional wrestling BACK. ON. THE. MAP! -Crowd cheers- And I'm SO GLAD you all could join me in making HISTORY! We're going to break BARRIERS...we're going to CHANGE THE RULES...we're going to change the SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT WOOORRRLLLDDDD! And it all...starts...TONIGHT. This is the first shot fired, in the battle to make the Equestrian Wrestling Federation, the most WATCHED sport in EQUESTRIA!

Phase 1 ends...on February 4th, 2014, when we go head to head with the SUPER BOWL! On that day, we will be presenting our first ever pay per view: Proving Grounds. THAT is the day we will PROVE ourselves, and the Super Bowl will FALL to professional wrestling! No offense to any football fans out there, I'm one myself, but wrestling is a REAL sport! -Crowd cheers- And we're going to PROVE it! I've got 40 or so INCREDIBLE talents back behind that locker room that are going to HELP us prove it, too! Tonight, our first ever Women's Eternal World Champion will be crowned in a 20 woman, over the top rope BATTLE ROYAL. We also have a men's division, filled with some of the most hungry and determined young lads I've EVER met. You'll also see THEM in action, as well. That's not all, though...hell, I don't even know what else is going to happen! That's why this show is called Lunacy! IT'S NUTS! Well, I'll leave you all to get to know the many vibrant superstars we have to offer, as well as the varying degree of entertainment we will provide. You all have a great night! -Filthy lays down his mic, and goes to leave the ring-

_Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful, don't hate me cuz I speak true..._

Garble: Oho! And here is one of the MANY talented females Mr. Rich was talking about...his daughter, Diamond Tiara!

Ahuizotl: You haven't even seen her compete yet!

Garble: I only know because she couldn't stop telling me backstage all day...

Ahuizotl: Pfttt, sounds like her...looks like she's being flanked by her two "besties", Silver Spoon and Turf!

Garble: She tell you their her "besties", too?

Ahuizotl: Nope! I'm just trying to live my fantasy as a teenage girl!

Garble: DA HELL?

Ahuizotl: DREAMS ARE MEANT TO BE LIVED! NO MATTER HOW OBSCENE THEY MAY BE!

-Diamond Tiara and company look out to the crowd, and shake their heads as they are not impressed. Filthy Rich smiles as her daughter gets in the ring-

-Diamond stomps her foot, and demands another mic. She slaps the announcer when he/she gives it to her-

Crowd: OHH! -The crowd then begins to slightly boo. It's obvious they know these 3 are meant to be heels-

Diamond Tiara: -goes from disgusted to happy as she sees her dad- DADDY! -She goes to hug him, but falls to the mat as Filthy Rich moves out of the way-

-The crowd cheers and laughs-

Filthy: Sorry, pumpkin...it's time you learned some RESPECT...that's why you're in this company. Slapping our ring announcer? That's childish and UNACCEPTABLE!

-Silver Spoon and Turf try to help Diamond Tiara up, but she yells at them in embarrassment. She gets up on her own power-

Diamond: -Angrily- DADDY! I can't BELIEVE you would embarrass me in front of all of these LOSERS! -Crowd boos-

Filthy: THAT'S another thing...these fans will be the ones that sign your paychecks. It would be wise to show them some respect, as well.

Diamond: But this isn't FAAAAIRRRRR! I shouldn't have to...-grimaces-...WORK for MONEY! What if I break a nail in this ring? -Silver Spoon and Turf nod behind her in dramatic fashion- THAT...would be...a DISASTERRRRR...

Filthy: You are a grown woman, Diamond Tiara! It's time you pay for your needs.

Diamond: What I NEED is a little nepotism here, daddy! You can't put your innocent baby girl in front of all of these BARBARIC fans while some other SKANK tries to rip apart her face!

Filthy: That's why I paid for you to get into that Dojo when you were little...to FIGHT back.

Diamond: -Pouts- That dirty Asian taught me to KICK, not KICK a bitch that's RUNNING AT ME FULL-STEAM AHEAD! It was a WASTE of money!

Filthy: Well, now you can earn your money and get into a better Dojo. Look, Diamond...your father is VERY busy right now...I'll leave you and the girls to introduce yourself to the lovely people. Could you do that for me, please?

Diamond: Ugh...-monotone- yeeesss, daddyyyy...

Filthy: -hugs his daughter- Thank you, sweet-pea. Now, if you need anything...just come to my office...-waves at the crowd- Have a good night, everybody! -Filthy leaves the ring, and walks up the ramp-

-Diamond and company continue to wave with giant grins, until Filthy is out of sight. Their grins are now gone-

-Diamond looks out towards the crowd cruelly, as they boo her even more-

Diamond: Listen up, you fat, neck-bearded slobs...I'm only going to tell you this ONCE...I'm Diamond Tiara...-she holds the mic to her left-

Silver Spoon: I'm Silver Spoon... -then to her right-

Turf: And I'm Turf...-she blows a kiss at the crowd-

Diamond: We are the H.B.I.C's here at this dump...that's Head. Bitches. In. Charge. Now you all know, and soon...EVERYBODY in the back will know. If anybody forgets, we WON'T hesitate to remind you AGAIN! That's all you need to know, and I'm sure it's all your small brains can comprehend...-Diamond quickly snaps- Let's go, chicks...

Silver Spoon: -gasps- But, Diamond! We forgot to do the thing!

Diamond: The thing? -realizes- Ohhhh...haha! You sure they can handle it? Whatever...fine. For your enjoyment, here is our TREAT for all of you losers...and NO, you are NOT allowed to use this fuel to write your disgusting fanfiction!

-Diamond, Silver Spoon and Turf attempt to do the Bump, Bump, Sugar Lump, Rump, but are interrupted at the end by...-

_Colourful rainbows catch my eye, when I see you fly across the sky_

-Turf and Silver gasp in shock, as Diamond Tiara grits her teeth-

Ahuizotl: Well, this is unexpected...

Garble: And so RUDE! This is Scootaloo, one of the many LOSERS Diamond Tiara was referring to in the back! Why is SHE out here?

Ahuizotl: I suppose she had enough of Diamond Tiara's chivalry.

Garble: HOW is that possible? I could listen to DT's sexy voice ALL DAY...

Ahuizotl: I don't think you're the only one...-Ahuizotl notices 5 people have already sent him DTxSSxTurf fanfics on his tumblr-

Garble: ...looks like there's a reason to follow you on tumblr, after all...-grins-

-Scootaloo slowly gets in the ring, and flips her head backward, making her black hoody fall off her head. She immediately gets in Diamond Tiara's face. Silver Spoon and Turf attempt to make her back down-

-Diamond puts a hand up in retortion-

Diamond: Easy, gals...I've got this...and WHY wouldn't I? It's just...-snickers-...Scootaloo! -Diamond, Silver, and Turf cackle. Scootaloo forcefully grabs the mic out of Diamond's hand. The crowd cheers in response-

Scootaloo: Enough of this, Diamond! You just HAVE to be the center of attention, don't you?

Diamond: -Flips her hair- Well, DUH! Look at me! -She poses-

Scootaloo: -Examines- Oh, I'm looking...and the only thing I see, is the same spoiled brat you've been since I've known you!

Diamond: -Giggles- It's not a gimmick, honey...it's a LIFESTYLE.

Scootaloo: You'd figure you would grow the HELL up by now, though. But no...you're still the same old you...insulting the crowd, whining to your dad...you haven't changed a bit...

Diamond: Neither have YOU...and that's NOT a compliment. The only thing that's different is that you don't have those two hood ornaments, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle to help you...

Scootaloo: You're right...I DON'T...but I know if they were here, they'd help me...but, since you haven't changed, and I'm pretty sure YOUR two hood ornaments haven't either, you'll probably just gang up on me.

-Turf shoves Scootaloo, and grabs the mic-

Turf: HOOD ORNAMENT? Bitch, you and your tacky insults don't mean a THING when you can't back them up!

-Scootaloo stands up, and wipes her mouth-

Scootaloo: So, I'm right then? You're gonna gang up on me?

Turf: -Smirks- Just like old times...

Scootaloo: Well, I guess without my friends, I'll have to learn to live with this...you three may still be bullies, but I'm stronger than you once knew me...after all, I had to train to be a wrestler. So, you MAY take me down, but I SWEAR on your father's company, Diamond Tiara...I WILL TAKE YOU ALL DOWN WITH ME! -Crowd cheers-

-Scootaloo swats the mic out of Turf's hand, and knocks Silver Spoon to the mat with a right hand-

Ahuizotl: Oh! Scootaloo fires the first punch!

Garble: WHAT IS THIS?! THAT LITTLE TICK!

-Scootaloo mounts Turf, and begins reigning down punches on top of her. She is nearly blindsided by Diamond with a karate kick to the side of the head, but Scootaloo catches her foot, and takes her down to the mat with a dragon screw. Scootaloo begins to use Diamond's leg as a weapon, as she sweeps Silver Spoon down to the mat with it, and begins to pound it into Turf's gut-

Small crowd chants: Scootaloo! Scootaloo! Scootaloo! Scootaloo!

Garble: STOP THIS CRAZED WOMAN! SHE'S NUT!

Ahuizotl: Must admit, though...she has a lot of guts taking on all three of them at once...

Garble: STOP ADMITTING AND JUST HELP DT!

Ahuizotl: -Puts up his hands in defense- Hey, don't look at me...I've never been to a dojo...-snickers-

-Diamond tries to use her other foot to kick Scootaloo away, but she grabs that one, as well-

Ahuizotl: Scootaloo is SKILLED!

Garble: Scootaloo is NUTS!

-Scootaloo twists Diamond's legs into a bow and arrow submission hold-

-Diamond wrath's in pain, and claws at the mat in an attempt to get away. She breaks a few nails-

Garble: Oh no! That's AWFUL! She really DID break a nail!

Ahuizotl: All a part of getting in that ring, if you ask me!

Garble: Oh, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? How can you even see with your eyes so close together!?

Ahuizotl: Maybe it's not the fact that my eyes are too close together, but it's the fact that YOUR eyes are too far apart to see otherwise...

Garble: ...damn.

Ahuizotl: I know...

-As Scootaloo continues to tighten her grip on the submission, she cannot block a legdrop from Silver Spoon. Scootaloo has to let go, as Silver Spoon uses her leg to choke Scootaloo-

Garble: Such innovative offense by Silver Spoon! Get her, DT!

-Turf helps Diamond up. Turf walks over to Scootaloo, and Diamond hobbles over to her. Turf and Diamond pummel Scootaloo with stomps to the abdomen, as Silver Spoon continues to choke her-

-The crowd boos, as more chants of "Scootaloo" are heard-

Garble: Serves her right! How in the world did she think she could take ALL 3 of the H.B.I.C's?

Ahuizotl: Probably because she nearly did...

Garble: SHUT UP!

So together we are all lost on the moon, we all share our home on the moon

-Diamond and Turf cease stopping. Silver Spoon stands up, frightened-

Ahuizotl: Finally, some order! It's the general manager of Lunacy, as well as one of the princesses of Equestria...Princess Luna!

Garble: Oh...ummm...that EVIL Diamond Tiara! Luna should banish her!

Ahuizotl: Don't be a suck-up, boy...-disapproving glare- besides...she should only ban DARING DO!

Crowd: Luna! Luna! Luna! Luna! Luna!

-Luna acknowledges the fans with a small smile, but raises a hand for them to stop. They do-

Luna: Well, it seems it did not take long for you 4 to cross paths...given your history, such does not surprise me...however, your behavior DOES DISGUST me, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Turf...your urge to fight, more-so, is what impresses me...-Scootaloo rolls out of the ring, coughing uncontrollably- SCOOTALOO! Inspiring your effort in that ring was...you have no doubt earned the respect of these fans...-the crowd cheers- as well as your debut match here in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation. That is correct...tonight, in the middle of that ring, Scootaloo...shall go one on one...with Diamond Tiara! -Crowd cheers some more, as Diamond is losing it in the ring- Good luck! -Luna leaves without another word-

Garble: That is HUGE! Good call by Princess Luna! THAT is a match we're ALL looking forward to!

Ahuizotl: I understand what you are doing...and I will play along. Especially after that AMAZING performance by young Scootaloo! If THAT little brawl was just a teaser, I can only IMAGINE the amount of damage those two will do to each other in that ring tonight!

Garble: More importantly...it's ONE on ONE. Turf and Silver Spoon can be in DT's corner, but they have to let her go at it ALONE.

Ahuizotl: Yes. Diamond certainly has something to prove, after the way Scootaloo embarrassed her and her friends!

Garble: Hey! Scootaloo blindsided her!

Ahuizotl: Switching sides again, are we?

Garble: Apparently it's good for business...-smirks-

Filthy Rich: DON'T SAY THAT LIVE!

Garble: I am such a noob...

-Scootaloo continues to cough, but she can't help but grin at Diamond Tiara as she holds her chest. Diamond Tiara cannot help but cause a scene in the ring. Turf and Silver Spoon can only whisper how cute her shoes look to calm her down-

*Commercial break...*

_EHEHEHE...everybody come see the greatest show..._

Garble: And as the rebellious ballad of the Insane Clown Posse blares through the Loneyville Asylum, we are set, for the FIRST official match...in Equestrian Wrestling Federation HISTORY.

-Midnight Strike comes through the curtain with a determined look on her face. Behind her emerges Dance Fever, who is doing some outdated Disco dance, Hugh Jelly, who glances at the crowd creepily as he smears grape jelly all over his face, Bill Neigh, who is trying to solve quantum physics, and Clip Clop, who is busy making balloon animals of sloths-

-The 4 males of "The Oddities" begin clapping to the beat of their theme music, trying to get the crowd involved. The crowd soon joins in, but in small doses. Midnight Strike keeps glancing back at her stable mates, shaking her head emotionless at their antics-

-Midnight gets in the ring, and simply stares out at the crowd, throwing her arms up. There really isn't much to her, it seems. All of her stable mates continue to clap and goof off outside the ring-

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FAAAAAALLLL! Introducing first, from CLOUDSDAAALEEEEEE, weighing in at 157 POOOOUUNDSSSS...The Killer Beeeeeee...MIIIDDDNIIIIIGGHTTTT STRRRRIIIKKKEEEEEE!

-Midnight stands in one corner, awaiting her opponent-

_I swear I won't tease you, won't tell you no LIIESSS..._

Garble: Oh no...not HER...

-Twist comes running out onto the stage. She begins shaking her hips, and then proceeds to twerk her way all the way down to the ring-

Crowd: -Disgusted noises-

Ahuizotl: MY EYEEESSS! MY EYYYYYEEEEESSSSSSSSS!

-Midnight has turned herself around, as she is now being smothered by the top turnbuckle-

-Twist crawls along the apron seductively, and slides into the ring, as the cameraman gets in there for a horrible shot of her ass-

-The crowd begins to boo. HEAVILY-

Ahuizotl: CANCEL THE MATCH CANCEL THE MATCH CANCEL THE MATCH!

-The announcer has thrown up, and thus, cannot announce Twist-

Match 1: "The Killer Bee" Midnight Strike vs Twist

-Midnight glares at her opponent, as Twist blushes at her corner-

Garble: -Puts down his barf bag- Now then...'Zotl...tell us about "The Oddities."

Ahuizotl: Ah, yes. I suppose you could call them "the rejects" of Lunacy. Bill Neigh is a college professor by day, and professional wrestler by night, Dance Fever runs an underground Disco club, where he wins EVERY contest that he takes part in, Clip Clop is, well...a clown...and Hugh Jelly...is probably on the Equestria's Most Wanted list in some capacity...

Garble: And Midnight Strike, from the short conversation I had with her today, has NO IDEA what makes her "odd" enough to be in this group.

Ahuizotl: -Nods- She claims that she is a "loner", and that she doesn't understand WHY she got grouped up with these guys. She's a no-nonsense young woman. A RUTHLESS competitor. She's here to break skulls.

Garble: And she doesn't seem too happy with Twist's...entrance...

Ahuizotl: NOBODY was pleased with THAT image...

-Hugh Jelly dips a hand into his jelly jar, and uses it to slick his hair back. He accidentally gets a small puddle of it in the ring-

-Twist charges at Midnight, but slips in the jelly-

Referee: That's it! Ring the bell!

*DINGDINGDIINNGG*

Garble: Uhhhh...what?

-Referee whispers something to the announcer-

Announcer: -Clears throat- The winner by disqualification...TWIIIISSSTTT! -The crowd boos immensely, as Hugh Jelly's face droops-

Ahuizotl: WHAT?! HOW IS THAT OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE?! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

Garble: This referee must not have read the rule book...

-Midnight rolls out of the ring, and walks towards a backpedaling Hugh Jelly, seething. Clip Clop blocks her path, and presents her with a smiley-face balloon. Midnight simply has to touch it with her index finger, and it pops. Clip Clop begins to cry, his makeup running down his face. Dance Fever and Bill Neigh console him, as Midnight runs after Hugh, who has flicked jelly onto the ramp to make Midnight trip over and over again-

Garble: Right from the start, we see the Oddities...ODD relationship...

-Twist begins to roll in the jam in the ring, posing for the crowd, who boos even more-

Ahuizotl: Speaking of odd-OH HELL WHY IS THIS REAL?!

Garble: CUT BACKSTAGE OR SOMETHING QUICK!

*Backstage...*

-Sunset Shimmer and Lightning Dust are walking through the hall, with huge smirks on their face-

Sunset: And just THINK, Dusty...I'm only one trip to the GM's office, and I'll have the opportunity to DESTROY that goody-two shoes Twilight Sparkle on the FIRST night...

Dust: One on one, she has no chance against you! In the battle royal, she'll just hide behind everybody else.

Sunset: Exactly...this is my big chance. First, I'll take her out, and then, I'll be the champion by the end of the night...

Dust: Yeah you will!

-Sunset stops in her tracks, and blocks Dust from moving-

Sunset: Look over there, Dust...-she points over to Shining Armor-

Dust: Yeah, it's Flash's tag team partner...so what?

Sunset: Don't you see? Imagine the look on Twilight's face if she sees me flirting with her brother...

Dust: -Snickers- Oh yeah! Go work your magic!

-Dust and Sunset saunter on over to Shining Armor-

Sunset: Oh...*giggle* hey, Shining...

Shining Armor: -Looks up from his cell phone- Oh...hey, girls. What's up?

Sunset: Oh, nothing much...just wanted to wish you luck in your match tonight. It's so cool that you and Flash get to wrestle for a chance to move on to the Combo of Carnage tag title match at Proving Grounds...-smiles-

Shining: It sure is! I can't wait to team up with my bro! He said he wouldn't let you down.

Sunset: -Twirls her hair- Oh, I KNOW he won't...and...I'm sure YOU won't either...-takes Shining's hands in hers- Maybe, since we'll ALL be winners after tonight...we can go...-runs a hand through Shining's hair-...CELEBRATE...

Shining:O-oh...I think I would enjoy-

_HEY!_

Sunset turns to see Cadance glaring at her, with her hands on her hips

Cadance: What the HELL do you think you're doing?

Sunset: Oh, I was just...checking on your boyfriend...seems like he's got a fever...-crosses her arms- Maybe you should keep a better eye on him...-smirks, and turns to Shining- all you need is an icepack...-pats his cheek, and begins to walk off, but still looks back at him- byyyyyeeeeeee...

-Cadance stands by Shining, with her hands still at her hips-

Shining: -Still smiling, but frowns when he notices the look Cadance is giving him- ...What? Babe, she's right! I need an aspirin...

Cadance: Uh huh...and SHE'LL need one after I'm done with her...-looks off in Sunset's direction angrily-

*GM's office...*

-Sunset Summer and Lightning Dust walk in. Luna stands up-

Luna: Well, hello girls...what can we do for you?

Sunset: Look, princess...you wanna make the boss proud? I wanna match with Twilight Sparkle!

Luna: Well, thanks for being so FORMAL about it, Sunset...

Sunset: -Pouts- Think about it, Luna! I'M YOUR star-pupil, and Twilight is your SISTER'S star-pupil...what better way to STICK it to her then giving me the chance to DESTROY her?

Luna: If by "star-pupil", you mean "Lunacy's best superstar", such has remained to be seen, and I have no desire to "stick it" to my sister. We also do not believe barging into one's office is a worthy case of receiving a match with ANYONE you want. Perhaps if you were to show some RESPECT towards your General Manager, we would consider it...

Sunset: Don't play politics with ME! I'm Sunset Shimmer! If I WANT a match, I'll GET it! Do you not have an EYE for talent?

Luna: Perhaps we can also remove you and Ms. Dust from the championship battle royal, as well...

Dust: -Eyes bulge- Oh NO, GML! Sunset is sorry for being so FORCEFUL with you, s-she didn't mean it! By the way, your hair looks BEAUTIFUL today...

Luna: -Deadpan- Kissing our butt also does nothing...

Dust: -Sighs-

Sunset: There is still NO REASON for you to deny your best superstar this! I came here looking for a FIGHT, and-

And you've got one in ME!

Luna: Ms. Cadance...how...unexpected...you...want a match with Sunset Shimmer?

Cadance: -Nods- Yes, ma'am, I do. Sorry to interrupt, but I caught her trying to soften up Shining Armor!

Sunset: Oh, back off, you dunce! It's all mind games. This isn't about YOU, it's about me and your boyfriend's SISTER.

Cadance: It DEFINITELY becomes about ME once you come into MY PERSONAL LIFE. Besides, what would FLASH think about this?

Sunset: He would support me, because he knows how much I've always wanted to get my hands on Twilight. He also realizes that I'll do ANYTHING to get what I want, and if I have to get through YOU to get to TWILIGHT, I'll do it!

Cadance: Come on then, you slut! I'm right here! -Gets in Sunset's face-

Luna: LADIES! LADIES!

-Dust separates the two-

Dust: Calm down, Sunny! You've gotta save your energy for Twilight!

Luna: There isn't going to BE a Twilight...yet, at least. Not until you get through Cadance that is, Sunset.

Sunset: What are you saying?

Luna: What I'm saying is, since you're both willing, and you've already got some bad blood, it only seems logical that you should settle it in the ring...

Dust: She can deal with that! Can't you Sunset?

Sunset: Luckily for Twilight, I CAN. Unluckily for YOU...-pokes Cadance in the chest-...I CAN.

Cadance: So can I...

Luna: It's settled, then. Now, ALL OF YOU! You've made your points clear...GO GET READY!

-Cadance leaves first, and then Sunset-

Dust: -Leaning on Luna's desk- Wow...tough crowd, huh?

Luna: -Sighs, and hits her head on the desk. Lightning Dust runs out of the office-

*Commercial*

_The sky turns to a different shade of blue..._

Garble: And our next match is going to decide who will move on to the Combo of Carnage tag team title match in 4 weeks at Proving Grounds.

Ahuzitol: The second team in that match will be determined THIS FRIDAY, on Friday Night Sublime!

Announcer: The following TAG TEAM contest...is scheduled for ONE FALL, and will determine two of the participants, in the Combo of Carnage tag team championship match, at PROVING GROOOUUNNDD...introducing first, at a combined weight, of 421 POOOUUNDSSS...the team of SHINING ARMOORRR, and FLASH...SEEENNTTRRRYYYYYY!

Garble: Man, have these two been pumped to team up or WHAT?

Ahuizotl: They became friends through the Army, which both JUST got deployed from a few months ago.

Garble: And THAT is one of the best ways to develop a bromance...dodging bullets everyday, having your buddy's back. If I was gay, I'd call it beautiful!

Ahuizotl: ...

Garble: Are you gay?

Ahuizotl: NO!

Garble: -Smirks- JUUUSSTT checking...

_[REDACTED THEME]_

Announcer: And, from Canterlot...at a combined weight, of 443 pounds, accompanied by Fleur de LIS! The team of Gustave Le Grand, and FAAANCCCYYPANNTSSSS...EEEEEEGGGGGOOOOOO!

-Fancypants comes out, arm-in-arm with Fleur De Lis. Gustave is lurking next to him, swatting at the fans hands as they try to touch him- -The crowd begins to boo-

Ahuizotl: Ohhhhhhh, I HATE that Gustave Le Grand!

Garble: Heh. Why's that?

Ahuizotl: His MUSTACHE! It makes him look EVILLER than me!

Garble: And more bad-ass than you, too...

Ahuizotl: WHAT HAVE YOU SAID?

Garble: Well, no offense but...you look like a damn monkey, dude! No wonder Daring Do always beats you! SHE looks more intimidating than YOU!

Ahuizotl: -Begins to cry- YOU BASTARD CHILD!

Match 2: EGO vs Shining Armor and Flash Sentry

Garble: I talked to EGO earlier today, and they are POSITIVE they are the most cultured and sophisticated tag team in EWF. Not just of men, but of ALL tag teams!

Ahuizotl: Well, Fancy Pants is one of the biggest moguls in Canterlot. Such a title could REALLY spike up someone's ego...Gustave is known for making the most DELICIOUS eclairs in Equestria.

Garble: And Fleur De Lis, Fancy Pants says, is the fitting piece to the puzzle...one of the most sought-after models in Equestria. And...well...you can see why!

-Fleur De Lis begins posing for the crowd, and the men begin cheering and wolf-whistling at her-

Ahuizotl: Basically, they're all 3 full of themselves, hence the name "EGO."

Garble: Gustave also explained to me that EGO stands for the "Extraordinaire Gentlemen's Organization."

Ahuizotl: Holy crap I need a mustache...

*14 minutes later*

-Flash Sentry floors Fancy Pants with an atomic drop-

Garble: Looks like Flash is in control!

Ahuizotl: Look out, Sublime! You better be watching, because THIS is what you'll have to scout! The fast-paced offense of Flash Sentry, and the technical MASTERY of Shining Armor!

-Gustave runs into the ring, and knocks Shining off of the ropes, sending him crashing back-first into the barricade-

Ahuizotl: OH! Missile Dropkick by Flash takes down the intruding Gustave Le Grand!

-The referee begins to tend to Gustave, telling him he should've stayed out of the ring and all that referee stuck-

Ahuizotl: Flash is in control, even with his partner down! He's calling for Fancy Pants to awaken!

-Flash is blindsided by Fleur De Lis hitting him with one of her fur boots to the back of the head. Flash falls to the canvas-

Crowd: OHH! -Most begin to boo, but others cheer for Fleur's bravery-

Garble: AHAHAHA! And THAT folks, is why you have managers!

Ahuizotl: I can't argue with it. If the referee is too occupied to see it, the rulebook is thrown out the window.

-Fleur rolls out of the ring, and puts her boot back on before applying lip-gloss-

-Gustave rolls out of the ring, but quickly rolls back in, as Fancy Pants already has Flash Sentry in his grasp-

Ahuizotl: EGO...looking to finish the damage that Fleur De Lis started!

*Cream of the Crop!* (BECAUSE ECLAIRS LUL.)

-Gustave quickly exits the ring, as Fancy Pants hooks the leg-

1...2...3!

Garble: It's over! What a STATEMENT by EGO!

Announcer: Here are your winners, Fancy Pants, and Gustave Le GRAAANDDD...EEEGGGOOOOO!

-Gustave picks Flash up, and tosses him over the ring to land by his fallen partner-

-The crowd continues to boo, until Fleur De Lis grabs a microphone, then a good majority cheer. Until Fleur hands the mic to Fancy Pants, then...they boo again-

Garble: What a troll crowd...

-A small blue bumper pops up in the bottom left hand corner. It's a feed that tells you what is trending on Twitter that is EWF related. Trending now is: "#EWF", "#MidnightbeJelly", and "Scootaloo."-

Fancy Pants: Tonight...was only a small example of how EGO operates...

Gustave: And ze more we win...ze bigger ze EGO gets...

Fancy Pants: So, we cannot wish the teams over at Sublime "good luck"...we can only warn them...

Gustave: No matter how much you win, your weak and feeble confidence...will pale in comparison to ze EGO!

-The mic is grabbed by Fleur, and more cheers break out-

Small crowd chants: Fleur De Lis! Fleur De Lis! Fleur De Lis! Fleur De Lis!

-Fleur almost says something, but instead drops the mic, and cuts a pose instead. The crowd cheers even more-

-Fleur grabs the hands of her two clients, and raises them up into the air in victory-

Ahuizotl: EGO is poised to take home the gold, especially with the crafty Fleur De Lis as their manager...

Garble: And by the sounds of it, Fleur may be bringing more than just wins to EGO! Seems like they've got a bit of a cult following here in the Asylum!

Ahuizotl: I believe they are chanting for Fleur. Non-the-less, by the end of this month, EGO may not only have the momentum, and the gold, but if they showcase more of that skill we saw tonight, they could have the fans in the palms of their hands!

-Fancy waggles his eyebrows at the crowd, Gustave twirls his mustache, and Fleur winks at the crowd, adding in a few more poses-

Ahuizotl: Gustave just keeps teasing my longing heart with that damned MUSTACHE!

-There is a quick cut to the backstage area, where we see a split-screen of Scootaloo on one half of the screen, and Diamond Tiara with Silver Spoon and Turf on the other half.-

Garble: Earlier tonight, those 4 females made their presence felt. Scootaloo showed how fearless she is, and Diamond Tiara and company showed just how much they were willing to humiliate Scootaloo. Coming up next, Diamond Tiara will get that same chance once again...will she succeed? Or will Scootaloo embarrass HER with a loss? That match...is NEXT!

*Commercial*

_Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful, don't hate me cuz I speak true..._ -Crowd boos-

Garble: And here she comes...the QUEEN of Lunacy...Diamond Tiara!

Ahuizotl: Once again, boy, she hasn't proven ANYTHING of the sort. If anything, SCOOTALOO is the queen over HER.

Garble: WHAT? No way! Scootaloo's a chump, and Diamond Tiara is going to prove it!

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FALL...introducing first, from Loneyville, weighing in at 127 pounds...DIIIIAAAMMMOONNDD...TIIIIARRAAA! And, she is accompanied to the ring, by Turf, and Silver Spoon!

Ahuizotl: These 3 young ladies are so full of themselves! They should join EGO!

Garble: Oh please. EGO wouldn't even be able to handle the H.B.I.C.'s!

-The trio do the Rump Bump on the ramp, and canter down to the ring in annoying fashion. Turf gets into an argument with one particularly UPSET female fan-

Garble: Pffttt...hater.

Turf: Jump over, bitch! I'll cut you! I ain't even scared of your ratchet ass!

Ahuizotl: Hostile environment here in the Asylum...-security hold the woman back, so she doesn't take Turf up on her offer. Turf laughs at her dismay-

-The three girls jump onto the ring apron, and taunt the fans before getting in the ring. Diamond Tiara balances herself on the ropes, as Silver Spoon and Turf are standing by her side, each holding one of her hands, and shooting their other free hand into the air-

_Colourful rainbows catch my eye, when I see you fly across the sky..._ -Crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: It is now or never for young Scootaloo! She said if she was going down, she will take Diamond Tiara and her cohorts down with her!

Garble: Yeeaaahhhhh...she won't. Diamond is ready for her, trust me. She's an AMAZING strategist, and with Turf and Silver Spoon in her corner, she has NOTHING to be afraid of!

Announcer: And her opponent...from Loneyville, weighing 134 pounds...SCOOOOTTAAAALLOOOOOOOO!

-Scootaloo slaps hands with the fans, before making a bee-line to the ring. She slides in, and immediately goes right after Diamond Tiara- -The crowd cheers even more at her enthusiasm-

Garble: HEY! That's not fair! She wasn't ready!

Ahuizotl: Guess that Dojo didn't teach her to always be light on your feet!

Garble: Of course it didn't! SHE ONLY LEARNED HOW TO KICK!

-Silver Spoon and Turf quickly get out of the ring, and pull Diamond Tiara away from the repeated stomps of Scootaloo. The crowd boos, and Scootaloo steps back-

Garble: Good. Now Diamond can actually prepare herself! Scootaloo never even gave her a chance!

Diamond: HOW DO I LOOK? ARE THERE ANY BLACK EYES? I SWEAR IF I HAVE ANY BLACK EYES!

-Scootaloo begins to run towards the ropes, the crowd goes "OOOOHHH" in building anticipation. The "OOOHHH" gets louder the closer Scootaloo gets to her destination-

Ahuizotl: I think Diamond Tiara has more to worry about than black -Scootaloo launches herself over the top rope- EYEEEESSSS!

-Scootaloo does a front-flip in mid-air, and takes out the three girls as she lands ontop of them-

Ahuizotl: SCOOTALOO! TAKING FLIGHT! WHAT A MANEUVER!

-Scootaloo quickly gets to her feet, and jumps onto the barricade in excitement. She riles up the fans. They explode with cheers over her athleticism, and in turn begin a chant of "Scootaloo!"-

Garble: -Worriedly- Get up, Diamond Tiara! Get up!

Match 3: Scootaloo vs Diamond Tiara

*11 minutes later*

Ahuizotl: What a MATCH we have going here, folks! Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara have been at each other throats the whole time!

Garble: Diamond Tiara NEEDS the upper hand, and she needs it NOW!

-Scootaloo connects with a right hand to Diamond Tiara, and the crowd goes "YAY!" Diamond connects with a punch of her own, and the crowd goes "BOO!" They do this same spot for a little bit, until Scootaloo skips the punches and goes for a straight enziguri. Diamond ducks it, and quickly applies her very own Bow and Arrow submission-

Garble: AHAHAHAHA! YES!

Ahuizotl: Diamond Tiara has applied the same hold Scootaloo had her in earlier in the night!

Garble: How do you like your own medicine, Scootaloo? TAP! TAP!

*6 minutes later*

-Scootaloo jumps off the top rope, but Diamond Tiara moves out of the way, and Scootaloo lands right on her feet-

Ahuizotl: Looks like Scootaloo may have tweaked something there...

-Diamond Tiara turns Scootaloo around, and goes for the Diamond Cutter, but Scootaloo counters and tackles Diamond to the ground. She then locks in the Bow and Arrow-

Garble: Oh COME ON!

Ahuizotl: Look at Scootaloo cinch in that submission hold! Diamond's going to have to tap!

-Just when it looks like Diamond might tap, Silver Spoon runs into the ring, and drops another legdrop onto Scootaloo. The crowd immediately boos-

Ahuizotl: Oh! Scootaloo was SO close!

-Turf follows suit into the ring, and she and Silver Spoon begin barraging Scootaloo with punches and stomps. Diamond Tiara has to use the ropes to get up, but she shoves the girls out of the way, and drags Scootaloo over to the turnbuckle, where she begins choking her with her knee-

Diamond: You think you're better than me?! DO YOU?! You're NOTHING!

-Scootaloo spits in Diamond's face, and the crowd goes "OOOHHH!"

Ahuizotl: Scootaloo is sassy and defiant!

Garble: She's dumb more than anything. Diamond is FUMING!

-Diamond kicks Scootaloo in the head, causing her to hunch over. She grabs her by her hair, and drags her to the middle of the ring-

Diamond: FLAWWWLEESSSS! *DIAMOND CUTTER!*

-Turf gets on the ground, and grabs Scootaloo by her hair. She shows the world her face, and then slaps it down-

Ahuizotl: Scootaloo...even in victory...still falls to Diamond Tiara...

Garble: Like I said...she's the QUEEN. You don't cross her!

-Diamond, Silver, and Turf spit on Scootaloo simultaneously, and stomp off to the back, leaving her motionless on the mat-

*Commercial*

*Backstage*

Interviewer: Ladies and gentleman I am here with two of the participants in tonight's world championship battle royal...Twilight Sparkle...and Rarity. Girls, tonight, you both have the chance to not only win your debut match, but to win the most coveted title here on Lunacy...you're ALSO friends, is that correct?

Twilight: That is correct, [REDACTED]. Me and Rarity have been through a lot together...

Rarity: We sure have, darling. But do not be mistaken! Jewelry is a ladies' BEST friend, and that title is the biggest piece of jewelry I've ever seen! -Stars dance in her eyes- Me and Twilight's friendship will last FOREVER...but I will NOT let this GOLDEN opportunity pass me buy!

Twilight: Nor will I. The villains have reigned supreme so far on Lunacy, but that will all change. The fans of Lunacy want something to cheer for? Then they don't have to look any further! I will be HONORED to represent them as champion, and I pledge to be the most honorable champion the EWF will ever see.

Rarity: I would expect no less from you, dear. -Extends her hand- Good luck!

-Twilight shakes it-

Twilight: Good luck to you, as well, Rarity. And good luck to YOU, fans! You have to overcome all the villains that are winning tonight! Down with Sunset! Let's go Cadance! -Twilight squees, and walks off pumping her fists-

Interviewer: She sounds full of herself...

Rarity: She sounds loopy...-snickers with the interviewer-

_And now...it's all over now..._

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FALL! Making her way to the ring, first...from Canterlot, weighing in at 143 pounds...SUNSEEETT...SHIIIMMEERRRRR!

Ahuizotl: Sunset Shimmer sure has let her ambitions be known tonight. She flirted with Shining Armor in an attempt to get into the head of Twilight Sparkle, but instead, she got Shining's girlfriend, Cadance's attention.

Garble: And hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...Sunset can make up all the excuses she wants! Cadance KNOWS what happened backstage, and she'll be looking to make Sunset PAY for it.

_[REDACTED] THEME_

Announcer: And her opponent, from Crystalville...weighing in at 129 pounds...CADDDAAANNCCEEEEEE!

Garble: I'll tell ya...Shining Armor is one lucky guy. How did a loser like him get such a BABE like Cadance?

Ahuizotl: How did YOU get a job here?

Garble: Bought a contract off of Ebay.

Ahuizotl: -Shrugs- Makes sense...

-Sunset smirks at Cadance from her corner-

Match 4: Cadance vs Sunset Shimmer

*21 minutes later*

-Cadance clotheslines Sunset and herself over the top rope-

Garble: What a spill, out go both ladies!

Ahuizotl: And what a physical match it's been! Though, we can say that about EVERY match tonight, these two women have REALLY raised the bar!

-Sunset and Cadance begin brawling out by the barricade. Sunset cranes Cadance's neck, and thrusts her face into the barricade in a downward motion. The crowd goes "OOHHHH!"

Garble: Damn! Cadance's face splats against that barricade! There's STEEL underneath that padding!

-Sunset crawls back away from Cadance, and looks at the announce table-

Ahuizotl: What is she thinking?

-Sunset maliciously grins, gets back into the ring, and quickly rolls back out. She powerwalks over to the announce table, and begins to chuck the cover and monitors off-

Ahuizotl: She's getting up close and person with our headquarters!

Garble: -Excited- I like the sound of that!

Ahuizotl: Oh, you FILTHY boy, you!

-Sunset turns around to see Cadance running straight at her. She sidesteps her, and uses her own motion to toss her into the air, and through the table-

Garble: OH CRAP!

Ahuizotl: OUR TABLE IS IN PIECES, AND SO IS CADANCE!

-Sunset falls backward, as even she is in shock of the scene, but she quickly crawls into the ring-

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Garble: I've got to agree with the crowd here! What STRENGTH by Sunset Shimmer!

Ref: 9...10! RING THE BELL! -The crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: It is EMPHATICALLY OVER. Sunset Shimmer. DOMINATE.

Garble: Cadance. DEAD.

Announcer: Here is your winner...SUNSEETTTTT...SHIIIMMEERRRR!

-The ref tries to raise Sunset's hand, but she swats it away. She goes outside, picks up a chair, and begins to bash it over Cadance's prone back-

Ahuizotl: Oh now that's QUITE enough! You prove your point!

Garble: Throughout this match we saw just how VISCOUS Sunset Shimmer is...this is just the cherry on TOP of the devilish smoothie!

-Sunset unfolds the chair, and sits down on it. She uses Cadance's back as her footstool-

Garble: Wow...THAT's the ultimate act of embarrassment.

Ahuizotl: Sunset Shimmer...a BIG win over Cadance, which is sure to carry over into the upcoming battle royal...but more importantly, will Cadance even be able to participate?

-Sunset folds her arms around her back, and closes her eyes as she continues to sit in the chair. A few fans are booing, but most are chanting "SUN-SET SHI-MMER!"

*Commercial*

-As we come back, we notice Horsepower is in a suit. He has a clipboard, and he's standing next to a velvet rope-

Ahuizotl: Well, we're back everybody and...what the hell is going on here?

Garble: It's a party! HAHA! Obviously YOU'RE not invited!

-The lights go dim, and some catchy pop/electronic music plays. A spotlight is shone on a pair of white boots with white tassels. The feet move down the ramp quick, and then move back up to the top of the ramp. As the music climaxes, the camera focuses on the face of Rumble, just as he takes off his sunglasses. He has a cell-phone in hand, and he has Flitter around one arm, and Cloudchaser on the other-

Ahuizotl: WOW. Rumble looks...impressive.

Garble: Oh yeah...and so do Flitter and Cloudchaser...YOWZA!

-Rumble begins to take selfies of himself as Flitter and Cloudchaser lead him down the ramp. They don't even have to stop as Horsepower unclips the velvet rope, and lets them through. Rumble departs from the girls, as he slides onto the apron, and poses in a side-way manner. He takes a bunch more selfies as Flitter claps, and Cloudchaser fans himself. Rumble gets into the ring, but doesn't open the ropes for the ladies, as he is too occupied taking selfies of himself, so they have to get in the ring without any help. Rumble takes even MORE selfies as Flitter retrieves a mic for him. Rumble happily takes the mic, and almost speaks, but he first takes more selfies. He hands his phone to Cloudchaser-

Rumble: Obviously you are all impressed...I...am Rumble...-he poses as Cloudchaser snaps some pictures of him- Small in size, but truly my greatest strengths come from...other sources...-He glances at Flitter. Flitter giggles, and locks lips with him for a moment- That big man over there, is Horsepower...MY HEAVY! He's going to keep the fuddy-duddies away, and let the REAL stars in...You could say "bouncer"...buutttt I wouldn't...he gets REALLLLLL mad-ANYWAY that's not important...what IIIISSS important...is ME. -He poses some more- I'm gorgeous, I'm photogenic, and I'm...-looks off into the distance- I'm gorgeous! I'm here to lay claim...to the title...Champion of Carnage-BLEH! -Flitter shakes her head- Yes, that name IS a bit tacky, but then again...haha...so is our general manager... -The crowd goes "OOOHHHH!"- I MUCH more prefer..."Champion Of GORGEOUS"! No matter WHAT you want to call it, though...I WANT IT...and, when you LOOK like I do...getting something...is MUCH much much easier...so I propose the question...who out there is worthy of stepping into the ring with the "Gorgeous One"? HMMMM? Well, if I'm being honest...I'd like to guess NOBODY, however...HOWEVER...I cannot be the champion of ANYTHING...well, besides "Gorgeous"-heh...if I have nobody to beat...so...who will walk the lonely road of loserdom, only to be bested by my superior essence of EVERYTHING? WHO? -Pause- EEEEXXAACCTTTLLYYYYY...everybody back there realizes that I'm just TOO hot to handle, so Luna...sweetie...it might be best to just GIVE me that title, because there's nobody in the back that wants to try their hand at-

_All my life I've been searching for something..._

Ahuizotl: Hey! Here we go!

-Overdrive comes out to the stage, mocking Rumble with some poses of his own. Rumble rolls his eyes in the ring. Overdrive stops at the velvet rope, as it is now closed-

Rumble: Hey, big man! For once in his life...he's on the list...-smirks-

-Horsepower complies, and opens the rope for Overdrive to pass. He gets in the ring, and grabs his own microphone-

Rumble: Okay...who are YOU?

Overdrive: I'm Overdrive...

Rumble: Okay...ehhhhh...you're...AVERAGE looking, at best...got some nice abs...good for you! But you aren't the total package like MOI!

Overdrive: I hate to burst your little reality bubble, but being a champion isn't about JUST looks...let's see if you can go in the ring, Rumble...-Overdrive flaps his hand towards himself-

Rumble: HA! You WISH it was that easy! You're cute with your little spontaneous gameplan. Didn't you hear a word I said? You have to EARN a title shot...and what better way to earn it...-he looks over Overdrive's shoulder-...then facing big Horsepower?

Overdrive: -Bites his lower lip- Should've known...all talk and no action...fine, though...I'll humor you, Fabio...

Rumble: Excellent...oh, Mr. Refereeeeee...come down here for a minute...-a referee runs down to the run and slides in- Oh...and Fabio has NOTHING on me! -Rumble leaves the ring with Flitter and Cloudchaser, as Horsepower rips off his suit and enters the ring with a menacing snort-

Garble: Oh, wonderful! We're being joined by Mr. Gorgeous himself, Rumble!

-Rumble sits down in the extra chair next to Ahuizotl. Flitter and Cloudchaser sit on his lap-

Rumble: Normally I wouldn't degrade myself by talking to...ugh...the commentators...but I have an immense fear of ring aprons, so that's a no-no...

Ahuizotl: Do you also have a fear of fighting? Because it seems you do.

Rumble: I will not even dignify such an un-gorgeous question with a gorgeous response. If this "Overdrive" fellow wants a title shot, he must EARN it. Simple as that.

Ahuizotl: And when will you EARN it, instead of naming yourself a contender?

Rumble: -Sigh- In due time, my dear lowly commentator...I shouldn't HAVE to...but I assume it's only FAIR...

*8 minutes later*

Garble: I do not mean to take the spotlight off of you, Mr. Rumble, but I must say...Flitter and Cloudchaser are BEAUTIFUL.

Rumble: Hmm, yes...that they are...-Cloudchaser begins to nibble on Rumble's ear- A gorgeous man ALWAYS surrounds himself with gorgeous women...-Flitter nuzzles at Rumble's neck-

Ahuizotl: Any chance we can get the girls' thoughts on their involvement in tonight's main event?

Rumble: They're a little bit...tied up at the moment...-Cloudchaser giggles in Rumble's ear- I will say this on their behalf...whether or not one of my two GORGEOUS valets win the championship, they still will get to look forward to ME becoming a champion in due time...

Garble: I cannot wait either, Mr. Rumble!

-Horsepower goes for a running body-block, but Overdrive counters with a scoop powerslam-

Garble: Oh! A counter out of nowhere by Overdrive!

Ref: 1...2...3! -Crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: He got him! Out of nowhere, Overdrive caught Horsepower, and pinned him!

Announcer: Here is your winner...OVVERRRDRRRIIVVVEEEE!

-Rumble pushes Flitter and Cloudchaser off of him in dissatisfaction-

Ahuizotl: Does THIS make Overdrive a worthy challenge for you, Rumble?

-Rumble throws down his headset, and marches into the ring. He turns Overdrive around, and gets floored by a clothesline from him-

Ahuizotl: Explosion by Overdrive! I'm sure Rumble wasn't expecting that!

-Rumble rolls out of the ring, as Flitter and Cloudchaser rush over to check on him-

-Overdrive pumps up the crowd by leaping onto all 4 turnbuckles and raising his arms-

Garble: Overdrive got the upperhand THIS time, but Rumble will be back...even more GORGEOUS than ever!

Ahuizotl: Speaking of Gorgeous...coming up next...it's our MAIN EVENT. 20 GORGEOUS women will compete in the same ring, at the same time, to find out who will be the Women's Eternal Champion!

Garble: Yes! Flitter and Cloudchaser! Get to stay out! I can't wait!

*Commercial*

-Skip all entrances because they don't matter-

Announcer: This...is the MAIN EVENT...of the evening...a 20 woman battle royal, to determine the first EVVVERRR...WOMEN'S...ETERNAL...CHAAAMMPPIOOONNN...

Main Event: 20 Woman Battle Royal: Women's Eternal World Championship: Sunset Shimmer vs Lightning Dust vs Twilight Sparkle vs Rarity vs Flitter vs Cloudchaser vs Diamond Tiara vs Scootaloo vs Turf vs Silver Spoon vs Midnight Strike vs Lyra vs Bon Bon vs Cadance w/ Shining Armor vs Fleur De Lis vs Colgate vs Twist vs Honeycomb vs Sparkler vs Berry Punch

Garble: Most of these women you haven't gotten to met yet until now, but over the course of this show, you will learn what they are about, for sure!

-Twist begins to twerk in front of everybody, so they all throws her out in disgust-

Ahuizotl: That's an elimination for all mankind!

Elimination 1: Twist by Everybody else

Elimination 2: Berry Punch by Sunset Shimmer

Garble: There goes the roster's drunk!

-Fleur De Lis continues to pose instead of attack anybody until she gets grabbed and dumped out by Rarity- -Some of the crowd boos-

Garble: I agree! BOO!

Elimination 3: Fleur De Lis by Rarity

Elimination 4: Colgate by Sunset Shimmer and Lightning Dust

Ahuizotl: Nice teamwork by the fearsome duo, and the part-time dentist is out!

Garble: She can give me ORAL ANY DAY...

Ahuizotl: Uhhhh...I don't think it works like that...

Elimination 5: Sparkler by Cadance

Ahuizotl: What heart by Cadance! She was mercilessly attacked by Sunset Shimmer earlier, but she keeps showing us what she's got!

Garble: A championship will do the to you...

Elimination 6: Bon Bon by Turf

Ahuizotl: There goes Lyra's teammate!

Lyra: -Cry- I will avenge you, Bon Bon! -She turns around, and begins pummeling Turf with headbutts. Silver Spoon tries to intervene, but Lyra hip-tosses her out of the ring-

Garble: Oh! And DT's leverage on this match just want down a little! I still believe in her, but truthfully, the more allies she has in there, the better a chance she has of winning.

Ahuizotl: It is STILL every woman for herself, anyway.

Garble: I know! But it's nice to have an insurance policy or two.

Elimination 7: Silver Spoon by Lyra

-As Lyra high fives Bon Bon outside the ring, Diamond Tiara sneaks up behind her and pushes her out-

Garble: Yes! There ya go, DT! Rack up those outties!

Elimination 8: Lyra by Diamond Tiara

-Scootaloo flies off the top rope, but Sunset catches her-

Garble: Once again, the strength of Sunset Shimmer is on display!

-Scootaloo reverses, and guides Sunset over to the ropes while she is in powerbomb position. She bends over backwards, grabs the ropes, and flips Sunset over onto the apron-

Ahuizotl: Sunset's hanging on!

-Scootaloo rolls back into the ring, runs off the ropes, and dropkicks Sunset. Sunset flies off of the apron, but is caught by Shining Armor before she falls to the floor. The crowd goes "OOOOHHH!" at the drama-

Garble: Ahaha! Looks like Sunset's got a knight in SHINING ARMOR! AHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHA!

Ahuizotl: Go home.

-Shining Armor blushes, as Sunset looks up at him and kisses him on the cheek. Cadance notices that, and walks over to the scene-

Cadance: What are you doing, Shining?! PUT HER DOWN! SHE'S JUST USING YOU! SNAP OUT OF I-

-Lightning Dust sneaks up behind Cadance and dumps her out-

Ahuizotl: And Lightning Dust takes advantage! How opportunistic!

-Lightning Dust cackles-

-Sunset leaps out of Shining's arms, jumps on the fallen Cadance, jumps on the ring apron, and enters it once again-

Garble: SPEAKING of opportunistic! What agility by Sunset Shimmer!

Ahuizotl: She HAS to be the favorite to win this, so far!

-Shining Armor is checking on his girlfriend, when all of a sudden, Snips and Snails attack him from behind-

Garble: The hell? SNIPS AND SNAILS!? They're attacking Shining Armor!

-Snips Irish whips Shining into the steel steps, toppling them over in the process-

Ahuizotl: Why are they doing this?!

Snails picks up the steel steps, as Snips lays Shining's head against the ringpost. Snails rears back, and POUNDS the steps against Shining's head. Shining falls to the floor, his head busted wide open. Flash Sentry comes running down to fend off the attackers, but Snips and Snails have already jumped over the barricade, and are making their way through the crowd-

Ahuizotl: It happened so fast...why? I...I don't understand...

Garble: I believe that's the point...we're not SUPPOSED to understand...

Elimination 9: Cadance by Lightning Dust

-Scootaloo comes off the top, and double dropkicks both Flitter and Cloudchaser. The two get up, and are both eliminated by a double clothesline from Honeycomb-

Garble: Awww! Sadface...

Ahuizotl: Honeycomb is the wildcard in this match. We don't really know much about her, except she is a former beautician.

Garble: She has just as good a chance as anybody else in that ring, no matter the profession. I'm pulling for Diamond Tiara, though!

Eliminations 10 and 11: Flitter and Cloudchaser by Honeycomb

-Honeycomb spots Turf and Twilight in the same position Flitter and Cloudchaser were in. She goes to double clothesline them, as well, but Turf and Twilight vault her over the top rope-

Garble: Oh...that's too bad.

Ahuizotl: Don't be such a sour-puss...she put up a great effort!

Garble: Better luck next time!

Elimination 12: Honeycomb by Twilight and Turf

-Everybody stops fighting, and looks around. The 4 heels, Sunset Shimmer, Lightning Dust, Diamond Tiara, and Turf line up on one side of the ring, as the 4 faces, Rarity, Twilight, Scootaloo and Midnight Strike line up on the other side.

-The crowd is pumped, and begins going wild-

Garble: It's an old fashioned stare-down, but with the HOTTEST cowboys I've ever seen! They're ALL big enough for MY town!

Ahuizotl: You never stop...do you, boy?

-Twilight goes after Sunset, Lightning goes after Rarity, Scootaloo goes after Diamond, and Turf goes after Midnight-

Ahuizotl: Everything's breaking down!

*7 minutes later*

-Turf and Diamond Tiara are setting up for a double DDT on Twilight by the ropes. Twilight counters and vaults them both over the top rope. Turf falls, but Diamond hangs on-

Ahuizotl: Turf is out! Diamond has no one left to turn to!

Garble: Hang in there, Diamond! You can do it!

Elimination 13: Turf by Twilight Sparkle

-Lightning Dust comes running at Diamond, looking to spear her to the floor. Diamond leaps in the air, and Lightning Dust falls through the ropes, and down to the floor-

Garble: Yes! Diamond hangs on!

-Scootaloo comes running at Twilight, and Twilight tries to vault her over the top, but Scootaloo moves herself in midair and hooks Diamond Tiara's neck. She brings her neck all the way down to the ropes, which causes Diamond to slink down to the floor-

Ahuizotl: WOW! Scootaloo changed her trajectory in MIDAIR, and was able to eliminate your pick, Garble, with a rope-assisted DDT!

Garble: I gotta admit...little Scoots' has spunk...that was an UNBELIEVABLE maneuver!

-Doctors come to check on Diamond Tiara, as she is coughing up blood-

Ahuizotl: Uh oh...looks like Diamond Tiara is losing more than that championship here tonight...

Garble: She's losing blood, too...I hope she's okay...

Ahuizotl: We MUST get back to the match, though. It is TOP priority.

Elimination 14: Diamond Tiara by Scootaloo

-Midnight picks up Rarity, and goes to Oklahoma Slam her to the floor, but Rarity counters with elbows to the back of the head. Midnight then chops the hell out of Rarity-

Garble: Midnight is a RUTHLESS individual! Like we said before, she's here to break skulls, and she may have just broken Rarity's cleavage flesh!

-Rarity catches one of Midnight's chops, and tosses her onto the apron. She takes her arm and rams it down onto the rope, causing Midnight to fall in pain.

Ahuizotl: All of that determination will pay off for Midnight ONE DAY...just not today...

Elimination 15: Midnight by Rarity

-Rarity and Twilight meet in the middle to shake hands one last time. When Twilight shakes, Rarity grabs her arm and Irish whips her into the corner. She stands on the middle rope, and begins to rain down punches onto her-

Crowd: 123456789-

-Sunset Shimmer sneaks up and simply shoves Rarity off of Twilight, and out to the floor-

Garble: Rarity was playing to the crowd, and it cost her!

Ahuizotl: She DID almost have Twilight eliminated, though.

Garble: Yeah, well she took too long.

Elimination 16: Rarity by Sunset Shimmer

-Scootaloo, Sunset and Twilight meet in the middle of the ring, and stare each other down-

Ahuizotl: The final 3...

Garble: Don't trust Twilight, Scootaloo!

Ahuizotl: Don't trust ANYBODY, ANYBODY.

-Scootaloo and Sunset look at one another, and smirk. They give a simple nod, and back Twilight into a corner-

Garble: Nice! She took my advice! Great strategy! Eliminate the fraud, and then leave it all on the line...

-As they are about to pounce on Twilight, Scootaloo dropkicks Sunset from the side, and sends her over the top rope, hanging on by a thread-

Ahuizotl: I can't believe it! Scootaloo has outsmarted Sunset Shimmer!

Garble: Not sure how smart this is! Sunaloo could've been an UNSTOPPABLE team!

-Now trending on Twitter: "#BattleRoyal", "Rumble", and "#AhuizotlsGay"-

Ahuizotl: STOP THAT!

-Scootaloo and Twilight lock hands, and uses them to clothesline Sunset down to the floor- -Some of the crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: Finally! Sunset Shimmer...has been ELIMINATED!

Garble: We are down to two!

Elimination 17: Sunset Shimmer by Twilight and Scootaloo

*4 minutes later*

-Scootaloo is up top, when Twilight catches her with a jumping enziguri. She climbs up to the top with her, and grabs a handful of her tights-

Ahuizotl: Uh oh...these two are in a precarious position!

-Suddenly, Lightning Dust runs back into the ring-

Garble: Oh my God! L-lightning Dust! She was never eliminated!

-Lightning shoves Twilight, which causes her to fall over Scootaloo's head, and since she still has her tights grabbed, she brings her down to the floor anyway as the superplex is complete-

-The crowd is split. Half cheer, and half boo as the bell rings-

Ahuizotl: SHE DID IT! LIGHTNING DUST DID IT! SHE SLIPPED IN THROUGH THE CRACKS, AND TURNED THAT CRACK INTO A GAPING HOLE!

Announcer: Here is your winner...and the NEEEEEWWWWWW...WOMEN'S...ETERNAL...WORLD CHAAAMMPPIOOONN...LIIIIGGHHTTTNNIINNGGG DUUUSSTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

Garble: The. First. EVER Women's Eternal World Champion! Lightning Dust pondered her time, she waited it out, and when the moment was right, she came in and PUNCHED HER TICKET...INTO HISTORY!

-Princess Luna comes out with a black satchel-

Garble: And here comes Princess Luna, in what we can only assume is the championship coronation...of Lightning Dust...

-Luna enters the ring, unzips the satchel, and reveals the Women's Eternal World Championship. At this point, Lightning Dust is on her knees, begging for the title. Luna asks her to stand up, and she does. Luna goes behind her, and puts the title around Lightning Dust's waist. Confetti begins to fall from the ceiling-

Garble: What a celebration for our new champion! Our UNEXPECTED...WORLD CHAMPION!

Ahuizotl: This entire NIGHT was unexpected...you never knew WHAT was going to happen! I can only HOPE it is like this EVERY week from here on out...I am Ahuizotl...

Garble: And I'm Garble. We leave you, with the lasting image, of YOUR world champion...LIGHTNING DUST...

-Lightning Dust gets onto the top turnbuckle, and points at her waist-

Lightning: YEEEAAAAH-HAHAHAHAAAAA! YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME! YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

-The show ends with one final image of Lightning Dust removing the title from her waist, and holding it high and proud in the air, as confetti continues to fall, and fireworks begin to go off...-

Quick Results:

Twist defeated Midnight Strike via Disqualification (Jelly)  
EGO (Gustave Le Grand and Fancy Pants) defeated The BroMans (Flash Sentry and Shining Armor)  
Scootaloo defeated Diamond Tiara via Disqualification (Outside Interference)  
Sunset Shimmer defeated Cadance via Countout  
Overdrive defeated Horsepower  
Lightning Dust won Battle Royal


	3. Backstage Fallout - Episode 1

_Backstage Fallout will air after every Lunacy on the Equestrian Wrestling Federation's YouTube channel. Our random anon cameraman will stalk the backstage area, looking for interviews with the superstars of Lunacy. He will discuss with them the most recent happenings of the most recent show..._

-Anon finds Turf and Silver Spoon outside of the trainer's room. They look very distraught. He walks up to them-

Anon: Ladies? How is Diamond Tiara doing?

Silver Spoon: Every time it looks like the blood is going to stop...she just KEEPS coughing more up...

Turf: Doc said she could have a crushed larynx. That's all we know...he kicked us out so he could work on her...

Anon: Diamond was eliminated by Scootaloo, who was the one that gave her that DDT which, in turn, caused the blood to flow...do you think this may have been some sort of out-there karma that came back to bite Diamond after what she did to Scootaloo earlier in the night?

Turf: Karma? Pfttt...can you believe this idiot? -Silver Spoon shakes her head in disgust- Scootaloo knew EXACTLY what she was doing...she wanted to PUNISH DT...she wanted to EMBARRASS DT...why did she have to take it so far? She could've clotheslined her off that apron-KICKED her off that apron...ANYTHING simple-but no...she WANTED to put DT in this position...I HOPE she's happy...

Anon: Well, girls...you DID kind of start this whole thing at the beginning of the night...you attacked Scootaloo to start the show, and interfered in her match. In Scootaloo's mind, this must make you all even.

Turf: No, no, no, no...SCOOTALOO started this off by interrupting US. We didn't SET our sights on Scootaloo, for your information...SHE dug herself into this hole. We've been on Scootaloo for YEARS now...we figured she'd just stay away -chuckles-. At the end of the day, no matter WHO would've came out to that ring to confront us, they would've been our target...because we're the Head Bitches around these parts. We didn't hand-pick Scootaloo...she handpicked HERSELF...so...she paid for it...and because of that...now Diamond is paying for it...

Anon: Does this mean you...feel remorse for picking a fight with Scootaloo?

Turf: HELL NO. If anything, now we have as big a reason as EVER to take it to her! She took out our GIRL...our SISTER...you think we're going to let this slide?

Silver Spoon: SPOILER ALLEERRRTTTT...-serious face-...we're NOT. Next Monday, Scootaloo had better be READY...not for Diamond Tiara...but for US! -Turf shoves the camera out of their face, and the feed cuts from there-

*Later...*

-Anon enters Scootaloo's locker room. She is sitting at a folding chair, a sweat-stained rag adorning her head-

Anon: Scootaloo. Really wanted to congratulate you on your inspiring performance tonight.

Scootaloo: -Looks up, breathing heavily- Tha-...thank...thank you...it means a lot to go out there my first night and show the fans of the newest generation of wrestling what I've REALLY got.

Anon: Diamond Tiara supposedly may have a crushed larynx, as a result of your DDT to her. How do you feel about this?

Scootaloo: The same way she must've felt after beating me down and spitting on the back of my head...-grins- GLORIOUS. Yeah, I've got no remorse...-splashes some water onto her head- she had it coming to her. There's only so much a person can take...after YEARS of torment and abuse, I SNAPPED tonight. During the school years, I took Diamond's bullying in stride...I knew it wouldn't be smart to respond with my fists...I knew my time would come...tonight...was my time. That's one of the reasons I'm glad to be here...I can right all the wrongs...I can put my troubles to rest. I haven't quite done that yet, but I feel I'm on the right track...hell, I almost won the CHAMPIONSHIP in the process...I only expected to take out my frustrations on my demons tonight, not become "the man", as they say, on Lunacy. -Chuckles- Almost killed two birds with one stone...

Anon: Turf and Silver Spoon have stated that they WILL be at Lunacy next week, and they're coming to take YOU out. Your response?

Scootaloo: -Waves it off- Fine by me. Let them come. I proved tonight that I CAN overcome the odds...I took it to all THREE of those jerks. Sure, in the end, they beat the CRAP out of me...TWICE...but I got the LAST LAUGH, because I proved that I am a WINNER, not a LOSER like they have claimed me to be since the third grade...-Scootaloo looks dead at the camera- HAH. HAH.

*Later...*

-Anon spots Sunset Shimmer by the buffet table, munching on a churro-

Anon: Sunset Shimmer...

Sunset: -Looks up to see Anon. Scrunches her face in disgust, and slows down her chews- ...What do you want?

Anon: ...How's the churro?

Sunset: Wow...what award-winning journalism skills you sure have. -Swallows- Very bland, like your skills with the camera...STOP SHAKING!

Anon: -Shakes even more- A-apologies, Sunset...would it be okay to ask you a few questions?

Sunset: -Shrugs- Meh. Guess you'll get fired if you don't...in that case, NO-HAHA! Just kidding, dweeb...what's on your mind?

Anon: How do you feel about your friend, Lightning Dust winning the world title?

Sunset: -Suddenly becomes very gleeful- I'm so proud of her! She deserves it! She's out now, getting the wine nice and cold...we're going to CELEBRATE...just like we SAID we would. I beat Cadance, and SHE is the champion. Damn...didn't think it would take one night for us to OWN this show...

Anon: Will Shining Armor be joining you in the festivities? Also, can't you admit that things didn't go EXACTLY as you planned tonight?

Sunset: I gave Shining the key to our hotel room, so he'd be a FOOL not to show up. I could think of a LOT of fun things we could do...-giggles- But that's classified information...as far as your second question, yeah, I didn't expect things to turn out like this. I mean, sure, I beat Cadance and all, but I stated that I WOULD be champion by the end of the night...and...well...I'm not. I'm apparently in this rivalry with Cadance right now, which DOES make me preoccupied, and let's face it...Cadance does NOT deserve to be champion, so a thing between me and her for the title wouldn't work...so, I'll destroy her, take her man, and Lightning Dust can begin what is sure to be a MEMORABLE reign as champion. I'll do my thing, and she'll do her thing...so, in the end, it really DOES work out.

Anon: What does Flash Sentry, your boyfriend, think about your flirtatious behavior with his tag team partner?

Sunset: Flash Sentry knows where his heart lies, and he knows that I can be VERY confrontational...it's a female's nature to FIGHT. It's just natural for us. I wanted to fight Twilight, however, and not her baby-sitter, but I'll take any fight I can get...it all ends in me being the most dominant female in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation...champion or NOT.

-Anon sees Flitter and Cloudchaser over by the makeup table-

Cloudchaser: Is that enough blush, Flitty?

Flitter: -Shakes her head, and frowns- Sorry...I can still see the black eye...

Cloudchaser: Ugh! Fine...the more the merrier...-dabs the brush, and applies more blush to her eyes-

Anon: Uhhh...ladies?

-Cloudchaser puts down her makeup, as she and Flitter turn around to face Anon-

Flitter: Oh! Hi there, cutie...-giggles-

Anon: Hi, girls...-blushes- It seems you're both a worse for wear after the battle royal.

Cloudchaser: Yeah, got myself a dinger. It's going to take ALL of the Mary Kay I have to hide it!

Flitter: I feel fine. Nobody feels more crushed than Rumby-Poo, though...-pouts-

Anon: ...Rumby-Poo? Where is he at?

Cloudchaser: -Beginning to apply a different blush, hoping for better results- In the locker room, crying into a pillow...

Anon: But...he only got hit with ONE clothesline...

Flitter: Rumby-Poo doesn't like getting hit, as you could probably tell. His gorgeous bones can only take so much punishment!

Cloudchaser: It's a travesty enough that brute Overdrive got him in the jaw. Poor Rumble's lucky he didn't get knocked in the face...you wouldn't see him until next week.

Anon: I see...how about you girls? You looked quite impressive in the battle royal.

Cloudchaser: -Smirks- We know...it's hard enough being impressive as far as looks go, but being impressive in the ring, too? Not many people can do that...

Flitter: Except for us and Rumby-Poo! And we do it better than ANYBODY!

Cloudchaser: Yeah, we do! -Highfives Flitter-

Flitter: Like Rumby said...we may have lost, but we'll get to see him as a champion VERY soon, and THAT'S what we're all focused on right now.

_Ehem..._

-Anon looks to his side, and sees Horsepower towering over him. He goes to stand in front of him-

Horsepower: -Looking through his clipboard- Sorry, buddy, but you're not on the list to talk to Flitter and Cloudchaser...

Anon: Would it be okay if I could just ask them a few more quest-

Cloudchaser: Just for future reference...-Cloudchaser and Flitter appear by Horsepower's sides- the list DOESN'T lie...

Flitter: -Giggles- So, unfortunately for you, this interview is OVER...

Anon: I-I understand...th-thank you, gals...-Anon walks away with his head hung low-

-Star Swirl the Bearded appears in front of Anon from behind a mist-

Star Swirl the Bearded: YOOOOOOOUUUUUU, young man! Do you know where Princess Luna's chamber of the castle is?

Anon: Uhhhhhh...what?

Star Swirl: -Grabs Anon, and begins shaking him by the collar- QUICK! There be it not much time! My sweet is about to become NIGHTMARE MOON, a blood-thirsty alter ego of herself that is out to KILL her sister, and plague the UNIVERSE AS WE KNOW IT...into FOREVER NIGHT! It is as serious as it sounds!

Anon: That isn't very serious...

Star Swirl: QUIIIIICCCCK! -Grabs Anon by his face- We mustn't make haste! -Runs off in the direction that PROBABLY doesn't lead to Princess Luna- FOR THE NORDS!


	4. Character Bio: Twilight Sparkle

Age: 21  
Allies: Spike, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Shining Armor, Cadance, Princess Celestia.  
Enemies: The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie (though it's more competitive now than anything), Sunset Shimmer (Equestria Girls never happened in this universe, obviously, since they're ALREADY humans. Therefore, they still hate each other.)  
Hometown: Born in Canterlot, currently residing in Loneyville.  
Signature Moves: Spell Check, Friendship Report  
Finisher: Take A Note  
Theme Song: Faster Than You Know by BlackGryph0n & Bassik  
Family: Spike (Not related in any way, but Twilight considers him a brother/son), Shining Armor (Brother), Cadance (Sister-in-law)  
Background: Twilight Sparkle used to detest the phrase "friendship." That was, until her mentor, and the princess of Equestria, Princess Celestia, sent her to Loneyville, as she was tired of seeing her prized pupil's eyes stuck in books all day EVERY day. Twilight was hesitant, but knew that friendship would be her destiny when her, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash spoiled the surprise return of Nightmare Moon, thus, turning her back to Princess Luna, Celestia's long-lost sister.

Now, Twilight finds herself working for Luna herself. Most of her friends got drafted to Smackdown, but she still has the boy she took in when he was very young, Spike, her brother, Shining Armor, her nanny turned sister-in-law, Cadance, and Rarity. Together, she will make this brand-new experience from inside the squared circle a MAGICAL one.

She's not the best fighter, but she's GREAT at making her opponents look good. She's a self-told success story, and could very likely be the face of Lunacy. A hero that the entire audience can get behind.

Follow Twilight Sparkle, as she ventures onto a NEW journey...

Friendships will be made, but at the end of the day, none of that matters...

This business is about being the BEST. It's a competition...

And Twilight is out to make her mentor PROUD.


	5. Character Bio: Rainbow Dash

Age:20  
Allies: Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Spitfire, Soarin, Scootaloo  
Rivals: Hoops, Dumb-Bell, Lightning Dust (No longer an intense rivalry, but not always wise to put them in the same room)  
Hometown: Cloudsdale  
Signature Moves: Rainbow Bash, Pain Rain  
Finisher: Sonic Raindrop  
Theme Song: Loyalty by AcousticBrony & MandoPony  
Family: Little to no information available.  
Character Traits: Loyal, Extremely-Confident, Aggressive, Hot-Tempered, Lazy.  
Background: Growing up as an orphan in the heart of Cloudsdale taught Rainbow Dash to be independent, and more importantly how to fend for herself. She has spent most of her teenage years training herself to become as athletic as possible, rising to the top of many of her high school sports teams, and making some friends along the way. Always knowing she was meant for great things, this belief was proven true when her and her friends: Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Twilight Sparkle defeated the threat of Nightmare Moon and later tackled many other major threats.

Now Dash begins her career on Friday Night Sub-lime with several allies to back her up, not that she'll need them. She'll always help out the friend in need but refuses to lose sight of her goal, which is the very top of course. Anything less than number one would be like losing, and who likes losing?

Her athleticism makes her the perfect high-flying, high-impact fighter that nobody will see coming. Dash loves the cheers and spotlights of adoring fans almost as much as she loves to win.


	6. Character Bio: Sunset Shimmer

Age: 26  
Allies: Lightning Dust  
Enemies: Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia  
Hometown: Canterlot  
Signature Moves: Prospectdriver, Sweet Revenge  
Finisher: The Last Sunset  
Theme Song: Shimmer On by MandoPony  
Family: No information available  
Character Traits: Ruthless, Aggressive, Vengeful, Sadistic, Pained  
Background: As a young girl, Sunset already had her life planned out. She wanted to be something SPECIAL. Not just ANY kind of special...Sunset wanted to be a PRINCESS. She was one step closer to this goal when Princess Celestia herself adopted her as her pupil. Sunset was ecstatic, and much like Twilight, did not care one bit about friendship. All she cared about was ruling Equestria at the base of her hands. She never got that opportunity, however, as she showed FAR too much enthusiasm towards the idea to Celestia's liking. She was too young, and not prepared for such a monumental task, but Sunset didn't care. She DEMANDED Celestia make her a princess. But being a princess...IS EARNED.

Sunset was discarded of, and a few years later, in came Twilight Sparkle. Sunset was FURIOUS about being replaced with a girl who wasn't HALF the princess Sunset could've been. Ever since then, she's stalked Twilight constantly, waiting for that ONE special moment, where she would exact SWEET, SWEEETT REVENGE.

It's not about being a Princess anymore...

It's personal.

As these two make their way to Lunacy TOGETHER, what will happen? How big will the explosion that comes with it be? Will either one of these talented women EVER be same...when the dust settles?


	7. Character Bio: Pinkie Pie

Age:22  
Allies: Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Inkie Pie, Blinkie Pie  
Rivals: Trixie  
Hometown: Loneyville  
Signature Moves: Party Cannon, Laughing Block  
Finisher: Pinkie Sense  
Theme Song: Do You Believe in Magic by The Lovin Spoonful  
Family: Inkie Pie(Sister) Blinkie Pie(Sister)  
Character Traits: Cheerful, Fun-loving, Excitable, Friendly, Crazy  
Background: Pinkie Pie was born to a poor family in a low populated, rural area. Her early childhood was filled with nothing but work,sadness,and toil. It was Pinkie who broke the cycle of boredom and taught her family how to have fun. Eventually she moved on to the town of Loneyville where she met her best friends: Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and later Twilight Sparkle. With these friends she would go on many fun adventures and tackle the toughest of enemies.

Now Pinkie has landed on Sublime with many friends and both of her sisters. She is determined to turn every night into a party and keep every battle a friendly one. No hard-feelings from Pinkie Pie, after all, it's all just a game right?


	8. Character Bio: Lightning Dust

Age: 20  
Allies: Sunset Shimmer  
Enemies: Rainbow Dash, Spitfire  
Hometown: Cloudsdale. (Though it's not really hinted at. Just my Headcanon.)  
Signature Moves: Fulminology, Buccaneer Blaze  
Finisher: Astraphobia  
Theme: Danger Zone by Vanilla Ninja  
Family: "Lightning" Larry Luciano (her pet snail.)  
Character Traits: Egotistical, Chill, Opportunistic, Persuasive, Reckless  
Background: Lightning Dust had always been a girl with her head stuck in the clouds. She had dreams FAR beyond her reach. Not to mention, she was too stubborn and reckless to ever accomplish these dreams.

Still, though, she's always been a SUPERB athlete. But someone was just, always better than her...that someone, was Rainbow Dash. They went to school together, from Kindergarten to 12th grade. They've basically known each other for over half of their lives.

Which, unfortunately, is a bad thing. In the beginning, the two similar girls found immediate friendship with each other. But you know how school goes...once you get past all the cookies and nap-time, things take a turn. People change, and in this case, Lightning Dust was the one to change.

Every sport she'd try out for, Rainbow Dash would try out for, too. It wasn't to upstage her, Rainbow just legitimately wanted to be a part of any team she could. Both would make it, of course, but Rainbow would ALWAYS be more impressive towards the coaches, Rainbow ALWAYS got the ball, Rainbow ALWAYS got more playing time.

RAINBOW, RAINBOW, RAINBOW, RAINBOW!

And thus...Lightning Dust was usually on the bench. Whenever she WAS on the field/court, however, Rainbow Dash would outshine her.

Lightning Dust became BITTER, and now, the once strong friendship...is over.

But now, Lightning Dust has the chance to start FRESH. Because this, THIS is professional wrestling. There's no bias here. Everybody gets a chance to SHINE. And Lightning Dust plans to shine brighter than EVERYBODY around here. Even better...Dash is on the OTHER show. Not that that matters to Lightning Dust, because the FIRST chance she gets, she's going to HUMILIATE Rainbow Dash...and silence all the critics.

No, lightning will NOT strike twice, because for Lightning Dust, it's NEVER struck...

...Until now.


	9. Character Bio: Trixie

Age:24  
Allies: Snips, Snails  
Rivals: Twilight Sparkle,Pinkie Pie,Applejack,Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity  
Hometown: Manehatten  
Signature Moves: Smoke and Mirrors, Spellbound  
Finisher: Ursa Lock  
Theme Song: Magic by Apollo Justice  
Family:No information available  
Character Traits: Arrogant, Deceitful, Vengeful, Overbearing, Braggart  
Background:Fighting for a living was never part of Trixie's plan. Her passion had always been magic. She used whatever resources a teenager could to teach her self magic tricks all throughout her school years. After graduating she started her own magic show in her home town of Manehatten. It was so successful that she began to take her show from town to town, wowing audiences everywhere and making quite the wealth and reputation for herself.

Her show-biz dreams came crashing down when Twilight Sparkle decided to meddle in her affairs and revealed the deception behind all of Trixie's claims. This revelation would destroy her reputation and put an end to her traveling magic show.

Now the magician is on Sublime, far from Twilight, but not away from all nay-sayers. It'll take supreme talent to rise through the ranks and earn back the reputation she once had, but nothing stops the Great and Powerful Trixie.


	10. Character Bio: Spike

Age: 13  
Allies: Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack  
Enemies: Garble  
Hometown: Born in Detroit, now residing in Loneyville  
Signatures Moves: Doesn't wrestle.  
Finisher: Again, doesn't wrestle.  
Theme Song: Silence.  
Family: Twilight Sparkle (Adoptive sister)  
Character Traits: Sarcastic, Witty, Cool, Helpful, Klutz  
Background: Spike is the youngest member of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation roster, but he will not be able to do ANY wrestling at his age. It's been outlawed by Filthy Rich himself. Spike will serve as the ring announcer for his BEST friend, and his sister, Twilight Sparkle.

Born in Detroit, Spike's family had always been a rough one. His parents were young, stupid, and just plain unprepared for the responsibility that came with taking care of a child. Spike had no other brothers or sisters. Just two VERY ignorant human beings as parents. Spike would be blown off for their usual party ways, leaving him to fend for himself. Every night, while his parents were away, Spike would walk the streets, looking for SOMETHING to do. He saw a LOT of things a child his age SHOULDN'T be seeing...but, he adjusted to the life of the cold and unforgiving streets of Detroit. He sold drugs, he BOUGHT drugs. He dumpster-dived for as much as a ham sandwich. He would use his newly acquired "street-smarts" to survive.

Then, one day, he was founded by Twilight, and her parents. They were on vacation, in DETROIT of all places...God KNOWS why...

Twilight and family couldn't stand to see this young child being left unattended to on the streets, and they were even MORE appalled when they were told of his background. Spike led them to his home, and without ANY persuasion, Spike's parents just...let him go. They even went to court, and INSISTED that Spike become a member of Twilight's family. They didn't want him anymore.

Spike didn't care. He had been on his own for so long, he didn't NEED a family. He had lasted this long by himself, what would a handful more decades of solitude hurt?

But, after a few weeks with Twilight, Spike's entire mindset changed. Because Twilight, too, was alone...just like him. And yet, he could sense the strong bond she was thrusting into him. And, for the first time in his life, Spike actually felt...wanted. He actually had a family who loved and cared for him.

Now, 5 years later, Spike is coming with Twilight to Lunacy. Spike has been a fighter ALL his life, no doubt, but he wont be able to fight here. Still, though, it doesn't matter to him. because he'll be with his big sister...

And Spike will do ANYTHING for her.


	11. Character Bio: Spitfire

Age:30  
Allies: Soarin, Rainbow Dash  
Rivals: Lightning Dust  
Hometown: Cloudsdale  
Signature Moves: Broken Formation, Nose Dive  
Finisher: Supermarine  
Theme: Spirit of Fire by PsychGoth  
Family: No information available.  
Character Traits: Cool, Social, talented leader, Gracious, Authoritative  
Background: Born to a middle class family in Cloudsdale, Spitfire was obsessed with planes and fighter jets from a very young age. By Junior High she could name almost any type of plane shown to her. She dropped out of high school to join the Air Force (Lying about her age in the process) and took training to become a fighter pilot. However, she did not become a combat pilot but rather a stunt pilot. Participating in air shows around the country with other talented pilots to amaze the masses. At age 25 she was leading her own squadron.

Although sometimes when one gets too good and too comfortable with their profession they become bored, this exact thing happened to Spitfire. So she and her best friend Soarin left the stunt business together and signed on to the E.W.F. Spitfire will benefit from an already large fan base and military training at her disposal.

It's time to bring the E.W.F to mach speed.


	12. Character Bio: Shining Armor

Age: 26  
Allies: Twilight Sparkle, Cadance, Princess Celestia  
Enemies: None  
Hometown: Canterlot  
Signature Moves: Surfs Up, Hang Ten  
Finisher: The Big Kahuna Theme Song: Into Yesterday by Sugar Ray

Family: Twilight Sparkle (Sister), Spike (Adoptive brother), Cadance (Real-life wife, storyline girlfriend)

Character Traits: Humble, Leader, Athletic, Dependable, BRO  
Background: If you were to spend a day with Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle, you would realize that they were POLAR opposites. Growing up, sports were not Twilight's forte, but they were Shining Armor's. Studying was not Shining Armor's favorite thing to do, but it was Twilight's. But yet, these two could not be any stronger as siblings. Shining Armor may NOT have liked to study, but he is FAR from a lazy man.

An all-state Quarterback from Canterlot, Shining Armor was the first in the Sparkle family to actually get into sports. Neither his parents, his grandparents, or even his GREAT grandparents were into it. They were also writers, teachers, or doctors. None of that interested Shining Armor, even though he is QUITE intelligent. He wasn't an irresponsible meathead, going out on the town after every game, getting drunk and bedding a broad, but he DOES like to have his fair share of fun.

Instead of going to college for Football, however, Shining decided to take a new path in life...he signed up for the military, to aid Equestria in the War against the Mexicans. He went straight out of high school, and was gone for 7 years, and left when the war was finally over. He returned home to many happy faces, and to his high-school sweetheart, Cadance, for whom he had to leave hanging for 7 years. The night he came back, he popped the question.

Now, Shining Armor returns to sports, but not football. It's a WHOLE different ballgame, because Shining Armor joins the ranks of the professional wrestling world. Coincidentally, with his sister, his brother, and his blushing new-bride.

AT EASE!

Fun facts: Shining Armor enjoys surfing and eating corndogs.


	13. Character Bio: Diamond Tiara

Age: 18  
Allies: Silver Spoon, Turf  
Enemies: Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Discord  
Hometown: Loneyville (Unfortunately for her.)  
Signature Moves: Perfection, Flawless  
Finisher: The Diamond Cutter  
Family: Filthy Rich, Screwball  
Character Traits: Snobby, Prissy, Conceited, Bitchy, Manipulative (AND MANY OTHER SYNONYMS FOR THE FIRST 4)  
Theme Song: Better Than You by MandoPony  
Background: Background: Coal is what is squeezed into the next Diamond.

As far as Diamond Tiara is concerned, she was born into the world as the brightest diamond ever crafted. She is ABOVE coal. Being the father of Filthy Rich, Diamond Tiara has been handed everything she's ever been given. Filthy Rich is a nice guy, and he WASN'T raised like that. He WORKED for his success...even so, this is his ONLY child, and he feels the need to cater to her every will. Not to mention the fact that at age 5, Filthy Rich and his wife, Glamour Tiara had a falling out, and ended their marriage. Diamond was so young, and so...CRUSHED. Her mother mocked her in conversations with her father, claiming she was "a mistake" and would "never live up to her name." This made Diamond Tiara HATE her mother, and brought Filthy Rich to a cursing mess.

Soon, however, Diamond figured that her mother was trying to HELP her...by making her a girl that took what she want by any means necessary. So, Diamond started bullying other girls at school. She became cruel and heartless...just like her mother. Even though Diamond Tiara HATED it, she only longed for her mother's approval...

She never got it.

At age 10, Discord returned, and turned Glamour Tiara into Screwball. Her eyes swirled, and she spoke and ACTED like a buffoon. Diamond Tiara now hated DISCORD, and now had a LEGITIMATE reason to act with malice towards everyone around her.

Filthy Rich could not feel WORSE for his daughter. And so, he sheltered her with anything she desired even MORE now. Filthy knew he should teach his daughter how to WORK, and prepare her to run the family business in the future, but Diamond, in classic fashion, would throw a tantrum until Filthy never brought it up again. She then met her newest "girlfriend", Turf, and she, along with Diamond and long-time friend Silver Spoon, terrorized the children from Ponyville Elementary, to the end of Ponyville High. Anytime Filthy would try to punish Diamond, she would just play cute, and claim that her father was turning into her mother. Filthy knew that was a blatant lie, and more-so that Diamond HERSELF was now HER MOTHER. He just couldn't bring himself to take action, though.

Now, Diamond Tiara is FRESH out of High School, and Filthy Rich has put his foot down.

Diamond WILL get a job, and she WILL pay her dues to society...by entertaining them.

She will be a wrestler, as a part of Filthy's NEWEST experiment...The Equestrian Wrestling Federation.

Diamond Tiara WILL not get special treatment, and Filthy Rich WILL not hand her anything else.

If Diamond wants to buy something, she'll by it with the money she earns...by WINNING.

For the first time in her life, it is actually ENCOURAGED that Diamond Tiara TAKES what she wants...

As long as she plays by the rules.

Diamond Tiara DESPISES this idea.

Filthy Rich doesn't care.


	14. Sublime - 1-5-14

-Sublime's theme begins to play as a mixture of blue and green fireworks begin shooting off on stage, ending with a final explosion of pyrotechnics. The crowd goes wild at the spectacle-  
-Dr. Whooves and commentary partner Discord prepare for the start. Dr. Whooves adjusts his tie and combs his hair, Discord props up his feet and takes a sip of chocolate milk-  
Dr. Whooves: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to the greatest spectacle Friday night has ever seen, EWF's Sublime!  
Discord: That sounded so rehearsed.  
Dr. Whooves: I'd like to see you do better.  
Discord: Can't be bothered.  
Dr. Whooves: Well you better be! These fans need good commentators calling the action! It's what we're here for after all.  
Discord: Really? I came for the free refreshments.  
Celestia over headphones: Discord, remember our agreement. You need to actually work.  
Discord: Pfftt...this IS working.  
Dr. Whooves: I can tell it's going to take a lot of coffee to work with you.  
Discord: I thought your kind preferred tea.  
Dr. Whooves: Bloody stereotypes...  
-Celestia's theme plays over the speakers-  
Discord: Quiet down fool, the General Manager is going to grace us with her presence.  
Dr. Whooves: Didn't take you for the brown nosing type.  
Discord: Celestia and I go way back.  
-Celestia makes her way down to the ring-  
Celestia: Attention fans, let's give a shout for the debut of Sublime!  
-Cheers-  
Celestia: Tonight is the first and thus most important night for this show. It's the night where all our competitors must prove their skill and earn the respect, or hatred, of the fans. The first order of business is to decide who will earn the most important right, the right to the World Fighter's Championship! The fate of such an important title can not be decided with merely one match, thus all contenders will battle each other in a tournament that will take place over the next four weeks, the final two competitors remaining in the tournament will fight at Proving Grounds for the title who fail the tournament should not despair however,as the ten best of them will fight each other in a battle royal to earn the International championship. Also, tonight's main event will feature a battle for the Sublime tag team championships. The tournament will begin tonight, good luck to all participating!  
-Celestia leaves while the crowd cheers on-  
Dr. Whooves: A tournament, how exhilarating, but that's not the only thing we have for our fans tonight. The battle to decide who will represent Sublime in the battle for the Combos of Carnage tag team championship will take place as well.  
-Trixie's theme plays, her entrance is accompanied by a mesmerizing display of fireworks, she approaches the ring with a personalized microphone-  
Trixie: What is this? Where are the cheers for the GREAT and POWERFUL TRRRRRIXIE!? Are you saying you haven't heard of Trixie? Well that soon change once Trixie dominates this tournament and goes on to win Sublime's top title! It does not even matter who Trixie faces, for she is a higher caliber than them all. None other on Sublime possess the talent, skill, and cunning that Trixie possesses! Trixie is determined to be the eternal face of Friday nights, and wil-  
*You see me soaring through the sky,I see you below as you walk on by*  
Discord: Who would interrupt such an entertaining speech?  
Dr. Whooves: My heroine...  
Trixie: Rainbow Dash! How dare you interrupt Trixie's monologue!?  
-Rainbow Dash casually makes her way down towards the ring-  
Rainbow Dash: Seriously Trixie? Do you really think anyone here wants to listen to you brag all night long?  
*Crowd cheers in agreement*  
Rainbow Dash: You're all bark and no bite. I mean really, did anyone else come out here to talk about how "great" they are? No, only you did.  
Trixie: No other wrestler has the courage to face their audience. Besides, it's not as if they care about your blathering either.  
Rainbow Dash: *Shrugs* At least I can back up my words with action, something I don't think you can do.  
-Trixie slaps Rainbow Dash, crowd boos-  
Discord: That's more like it!  
Trixie: Action enough for you Rainbow Crash?  
-Rainbow Dash hits Trixie with a flurry of punches and the two begin brawling-  
Dr. Whooves: Well that didn't take long to escalate.  
-Rainbow Dash gets Trixie on the ground and gets ready to perform the Sonic Raindrop, but Trixie rolls away at the last second, before Rainbow Dash can get up Trixie hits her with the microphone-  
Trixie: That was a nice try Rainbow Dash, but your efforts will not be enough to rain on Trixie's parade. When the time comes for us to face each other in a real match, you'll regret making an enemy of Trixie.  
-Trixie takes her mic and exits the ring, leaving a slowly recovering Dash holding her head in pain-  
*Commercial*  
Dr. Whooves: Welcome back to Friday Night Sublime where it's time for our first tournament match!  
Discord: So rehearsed.  
Dr. Whooves: Shut it.  
*REDACTED THEME*  
Announcer: Approaching the ring, from Loneyville, standing five foot, seven inches tall and weighing in at 150 pounds, Nurse Redheart!  
*REDACTED THEME*  
-A group of armored men and women enter the stage, another in fancy, out-dated looking clothing enters with a microphone-  
Squire: All shall now make way for the all powerful and respectable Commander Hurricane, rightful ruler of this federation and the lands beyond.  
Match 1: Tournament Match, Nurse Redheart vs. Commander Hurricane  
-Commander Hurricane approaches the stage dressed in full metal body armor, the ref orders her to remove it-  
Commander Hurricane: What?! How dare you give me an order!? I outrank you by far "referee".  
Referee: The metal comes off or you'll be disqualified.  
Commander Hurricane: Fine, this opponent doesn't look like she'll present much of a threat anyways...  
-Commander Hurricane removes her armor and piles it just outside the ring, leaving just her wrestling attire on-  
Discord: *Whistles* If only all women were so eager to strip down.  
Dr. Whooves: Well aren't you a pervert.  
Discord: You're thinking the same thing, don't embarrass us both by lying about it.  
Dr. Whooves: Good heavens man, I'm married!  
Discord: AND?  
-After 5 minutes Commander Hurricane is clearly dominating, hitting increasingly more brutal moves on Nurse Redheart-  
Dr. Whooves: Commander Hurricane is just being merciless...  
-Nurse Redheart manages a few lucky counters and hits Commander Hurricane with a "Check Up!" and pins, but Commander Hurricane kicks out at 2-  
Dr. Whooves: So close, but it does seem things are in Redheart's favor now.  
-One of Commander Hurricane's guards attempts to enter the ring, but is stopped by the referee, the two begin to argue, while the referee is distracted Commander Hurricane slips out of the ring and grabs her metal helmet, she then re-enters the ring and hits Nurse Redheart with it repeatedly, throwing it out of the ring and pinning her just as the ref turns back around-  
*1...2...3!*  
Dr. Whooves: How cheap!  
Discord: Looked fair to me.  
Squire: The winner of this battle, our great leader, Commander Hurricane!  
-Commander Hurricane and her company leave the ring while being booed the whole while-  
*Backstage*  
-Braeburn and Happy Trails are engaged in a game of poker when Hoity Toity and Blueblood approach, scoffing at them-  
Braeburn: Ya'll got a problem pardners?  
Hoity Toity: Oh no, not at all. It's always interesting to observe the lower class engaged in low class activities.  
Happy Trails: Lower class? You puffed up little..  
Blueblood: Oh my what a temper. He didn't mean anything by it. We understand the need for those such as yourselves. You exist to give great men such as us something to stand on.  
Hoity Toity: I admit though, I would of thought you two would of been preparing for our match later, but I don't blame you for not trying. You don't stand a chance being so out-classed as you are.  
Braeburn: We'll see who's out-classed soon enough. And ya'll will be in for a rude awakening when we kick your asses from here back to the big city ya came from. Now if ya don't mind, we have a game to finish.  
-Hoity Toity and Blueblood continuing walking, laughing about "ignorant cowboys"-  
*Commercial*  
Dr. Whooves: We're back, and just in time. As the match to determine Sublime's representatives in the Carnage of Combo's tag team championship is about to begin.  
*REDACTED Theme*  
Announcer: Approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 398 pounds, Canterlot Class!  
-Hoity Toity approaches the ring in his wrestling attire, which has his name engraved in gold lettering, each of his fingers also has a ring with some type of precious metal attached. Blueblood is dressed like a king, with an over-sized red robe and even a scepter-  
Dr. Whooves: These two are rolling in cash and they aren't afraid to show it off.  
Discord: What good is money if you can't brag about it?  
*REDACTED Theme*  
Announcer: And their opponents, weighing in at a combined 409 pounds, the team of Braeburn and Happy Trails!  
*Braeburn walks down the ramp happily shaking hands with fans, while Happy Trails constantly breaks out in some funny looking country dance moves*  
Match 2: Combos of Carnage Qualifying match, Canterlot Class vs. Braeburn and Happy Trails  
-11 Minutes into the match-  
-Hoity Toity "accidentally" takes out the referee-  
Dr. Whooves: Dear lord, here we go...  
-Blueblood knocks Happy Trails off the ropes and exits the ring, he then picks him up and starts smashing Happy Trail's face against the ring post repeatedly, causing him to bleed-  
Blueblood:*Releasing Happy Trails* Ugh, you got your DISGUSTING blood all over my royal hands!  
-Happy Trails manages to elbow Blueblood in the gut and then throws him into the steel steps-  
-Meanwhile in the ring Braeburn hits High Noon on Hoity Toity, the ref comes back to his senses and Braeburn goes for the pin-  
*1...2...3!*  
-The crowd cheers-  
Announcer: And the winners of the match, the tag team who will be competing against EGO for the Combos of Carnage title at Proving Grounds, the team of Braeburn and Happy Trails!  
Discord: Oh boo, I thought Canterlot Class was going to win that one.  
Dr. Whooves: Thank God they didn't, I don't think we would be able to stand the combined puffed up arrogance of EGO and Canterlot Class.  
*Now trending on Twitter: #GreatandPowerfulTrixie #RainbowDash #Cowboys #DrWhoovesisBritish  
Dr. Whooves: I wonder if they figured that out all on their own..  
-Happy Trails pulls a guitar from under the ring and begins to play music-  
: Adding insult to injury with the celebration music.  
-Canterlot Class retreats from the ring looking disgraced-  
Discord: Oh goody, up next we have a family face off! A tournament match featuring Apple Bloom versus Babs Seed. You gotta love watching relatives beat each other up.  
Dr. Whooves: Is there any humanity any you?  
Discord: Not really.  
*REDACTED theme*  
Announcer: Approaching the ring,standing at five foot, five inches tall, weighing in at 138 pounds, from Manhattan, Babs Seed!  
-Babs Seed walks down the ramp, glaring at the audience from time to time-  
Discord: She sure seems friendly enough.  
*REDACTED theme*  
Announcer: And her opponent, from Loneyville, standing at five foot, seven inches tall, weighing in at 136 pounds, Apple Bloom!  
-Apple Bloom heads to the ring smiling and waving the entire while-  
Match 3: Tournament Match, Babs Seed vs. Apple Bloom  
-9 minutes later-  
-Babs Seed tries to throw Apple Bloom over the top rope but Apple Bloom counters and pulls her into a *REDACTED move*-  
*1...2...3!*  
Announcer: The winner of the match, Apple Bloom!  
-Apple Bloom offers Babs Seed a hand shake, Babs Seed moves to take it but instead pulls Apple Bloom into a finisher-  
-The crowd boos loudly as Babs Seed starts kicking and stomping on the downed Apple Bloom-  
*REDACTED Theme*  
Dr. Whooves: It's Apple Bloom's tag team partner Sweetie Belle! Looks like it's time to clean house.  
-Babs Seed quickly retreats as Sweetie Belle enters the ring, leaving her to check on Apple Bloom-  
Dr. Whooves: Two on one, I think Babs Seed is biting off more than she can chew by making them her enemies.  
Discord: She's a sneaky one, she'll figure something out.  
*Commercial*  
-Backstage-  
Interviewer: Rainbow Dash, would you care to comment on what happened on the show earlier?  
Rainbow Dash: Trixie got lucky is all, I almost had her. Next time will be different, I'll make sure of it.  
Interviewer: Do you think you'll get to face Trixie later in the tournament?  
Rainbow Dash: Well I know that I will be there, but I don't know if Trixie will. She talks way better than she can actually fight, I wouldn't be surprised if someone else eliminates her from the tournament before I can get to her.  
Interviewer: I'm also aware that many of your close friends will also be in this tournament, how will you feel about having to fight some of them?  
Rainbow Dash: It's not a big deal, it'll just be like a friendly spar is all. No hard feelings.  
Interviewer: Thank you for your time.  
-Rainbow Dash exits while Trixie enters-  
Trixie: What is this? Why was the VOCAL and OPINIONATED Trixie not offered an interview?  
Interviewer: Well...I...uhh...  
Trixie: Are you saying that Trixie is not worthy of an interview?  
Interviewer: Not at all miss...I...  
Trixie: Trixie is offended by this insult! Trixie will have to take this up with the general manager and will be sure to tell her your name and that you denied her the interview Trixie deserved!  
-Trixie leaves in a huff-  
Interviewer: Uhhhhhhh...  
-Camera switches back to the arena-  
*Do you believe in magic?*  
Announcer: Entering the ring, weighing in at 150 pounds, and standing at five foot, eight inches tall, from the town of Loneyville. Pinkie Pie!  
-As Pinkie Pie enters the arena balloons fall from the ceiling and confetti shoots off from the stage, she bounces and skips the whole way down to the ring, lots of cheering-  
*REDACTED theme*  
Announcer: And her opponent, accompanied to the ring by Aloe, weighing in at 130 pounds and standing five foot, six inches tall, from Loneyville, Lotus Blossom!  
-Aloe and Lotus walk down to the ring with poise, blowing kisses to the audience as they go by, the crowd cheers-  
Dr. Whooves: Looks like we have two crowd favorites facing off for this one.  
Discord: No villains?! How boring.  
-Lotus enters the ring, the bell rings-  
Match 4: Tournament Match, Pinkie Pie vs. Lotus Blossom  
-Lotus manages to get the first hit on Pinkie Pie but breaks a nail, she immediately stops her attack and gasps-  
Lotus: My beautiful nails! Ruined! It'll take so long to fix this manicure!  
*PINKIE SENSE!*  
*1...2...3!*  
Announcer: And the winner of the match, Pinkie Pie!  
Discord: *Laughing* That was better than I thought it would be! Five star match for sure.  
Pinkie Pie: Sorry for taking advantage like that! But someone had to win right? No hard feelings! -Pinkie Pie helps Lotus up and the two shake hands-  
Dr. Whooves: What sportsmanship. Good show!  
*On screen appears camera footage of Daring Do, in some exotic area*  
Daring Do: Hello Sublime, this is Daring Do speaking to you from the Amazon jungle. I'm afraid my latest adventure is taking me longer than I thought, so I might not be able to make my appearance on show as soon as I should have, but don't worry...I'll find my way out of here eventually. -A snake comes up behind Daring Do and tries to attack her, she slices it with a machete- It's excellent physical training, fighting off all these creatures is sure to improve my strength and stamina. Anyways, the mosquitoes will be out soon so I should get back to my base camp. Oh, tell Ahuiztol I said hello, and he better not show his mug on Sublime or they'll be trouble for him when I get back!  
*Commercial*  
-Trixie's theme plays, followed by the extreme firework show seen earlier-  
Trixie: And approaching the ring, from Manhattan, standing at an intimidating five foot, eleven inches tall, and weighing at a perfect 148 pounds, the GRRRRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAAAAT AND POWERRRRRRRRRRFUL...TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIXIEEEEE!  
Discord: That woman sure does know how an entrance is made.  
*She felt the wind and longed to follow*  
Announcer: Approaching the ring, accompanied by Soarin, standing six foot tall and weighing 159 pounds, from Cloudsdale, Spitfire!  
Match 5: Tournament Match, Trixie vs. Spitfire  
-18 minutes later-  
-Trixie gets Spitfire trapped in the corner and starts raining down punches, Spitfire catches one and shoves Trixie away, she then climbs up on the turnbuckle and hits Trixie with a dive, then going for a pin-  
*1...2...- *KICK-OUT*  
-Spitfire picks Trixie up to perform another move, but Trixie counters and takes Spitfire to the ground, putting her in a Ursa Lock-  
: Oh lord, that looks painful. I wonder how long Spitfire can take that, and poor Soarin is helpless.  
Discord: I think he's just been enjoying the show the whole time.  
Dr. Whooves: Wha?  
Discord: Who wouldn't enjoy seeing their girlfriend get hot and sweaty? Oh, I forgot that you Brits are prudes.  
Dr. Whooves: Why I never.  
-After 2 minutes in the Ursa Lock Spitfire is forced to tap out-  
-Trixie stands and grabs her personal mic-  
Trixie: And the winner of the match, advancing to the next stage of the tournament, the GRRRRRRRRREAT AND POWERRRRRRRRRFUL TRRRRRRRIXIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
-Trixie starts walking up the ramp with Soarin staring at her, Spitfire who has recovered somewhat walks over and punches him in the shoulder-  
Soarin: OW! What was that for?  
Spitfire: I saw you staring at her.  
Soarin: Well uhh yeah...she has nice...uhh...attire.  
Spitfire: RIGHT, that's what you were staring at.  
Soarin: I swear it was.  
Spitfire: Whatever...let's get out of here.  
*Commercial*  
Dr. Whooves: And we are back for the main event of Friday Night Sublime, where the Sublime Tag Team Champions will be decided. We have two promising teams facing off. The alliance of Octavia and Vinyl Scratch versus Beauty Shot, the tag team of Photo Finish and Pretty Vision. Let's see how it plays out.  
*REDACTED theme*  
Announcer:The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the Sublime Tag team Championship! Approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 282 pounds, Beauty Shot!  
-Photo Finish walks elegantly down the ramp, striking many poses along the way, while Pretty Vision follows with a camera taking snapshots, the crowd cheers after every pose-  
*A dub-step remix of some classical music piece plays, multi-colored,flashing lights shine all around the arena*  
Announcer: And their opponents, weighing a combined 290 pounds, the team of Octavia and Vinyl Scratch!  
-Vinyl Scratch dances down the ramp, pulling off all kinds of modern,hip moves while Octavia maintains a solid composure-  
Dr. Whooves: This is certainly a unique team, with many differences between the two.  
Discord: I'm just liking the music. Dub-step has such a chaotic feel wouldn't you agree?  
Dr. Whooves: All I hear is noise.  
Main Event: Sublime Tag Team Championship. Beauty Shot vs. Octavia and Vinyl Scratch  
-22 minutes later-  
-Octavia and Vinyl Scratch are on the verge of victory, Vinyl Scratch hits *REDACTED* on Pretty Vision-  
-Photo Finish hits *REDACTED* on the referee from behind and jumps down from the ring, meanwhile Pretty Vision rolls out from under the bottom rope-  
-Photo Finish pulls two chairs out from the bottom of the ring and hands one to Pretty Vision, when Octavia and Vinyl Scratch exit the ring to pursue them the two ambush them with chairs-  
Pretty Vision: Isn't this cheating?  
Photo Finish: Fool! We are not cheating! That is beneath us. We are merely being opportunistic!  
Pretty Vision: Ohhhh...I get it! *Continues attacking with chair*  
*Photo Finish rolls Vinyl Scratch into the ring*  
Photo Finish: What are you waiting for?! Wake up the ref and pin her!  
*Pretty Vision manages to wake the ref up and pins Vinyl Scratch*  
*1...2...3!*  
-Crowd boos loudly-  
Announcer: Here are you winners, and the new Sublime Tag Team Champions...Beauty Shot!  
Dr. Whooves: Terrible, bloody terrible!  
Discord: Marvelous, absolutely marvelous.  
Dr. Whooves: We'll just have to hope these two get what they deserve next week. We'll see you then ladies and gentlemen!  
-The show ends with Photo Finish and Pretty Vision showing off their new titles-  
Match Results-  
Match 1: Commander Hurricane vs. Nurse Redheart Commander Hurricane won  
Match 2: Canterlot Class vs. Braeburn and Happy Trails Braeburn and Happy Trails won  
Match 3: Babs Seed vs. Apple Bloom Apple Bloom won  
Match 4: Pinkie Pie vs. Lotus Blossom Pinkie Pie won  
Match 5: Trixie vs. Spitfire Trixie won  
Match 6: Beauty Shot vs. Octavia and Vinyl Scratch Beauty Shot won  
Tournament Status:  
-Nurse Redheart,Babs Seed,Lotus Blossom, and Spitfire eliminated.  
-Commander Hurricane,Apple Bloom,Pinkie Pie, and Trixie will advance to round 2.  
-Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Cheerilee, Aloe, Sweet Tooth, Inkie Pie, and Blinkie Pie yet to compete


	15. Power 30 - Week 1

1. Lightning Dust Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
2. Trixie Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
3. Scootaloo Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
4. Pinkie Pie Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
5. Photo Finish Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
6. Pretty Vision Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
7. Fancy Pants Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
8. Gustave La Grand Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
9. Braeburn Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
10. Happy Trails Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
11. Sunset Shimmer Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
12. Commander Hurricane Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A  
13. Overdrive Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
14. Apple Bloom Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
15. Twist Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
16. Diamond Tiara Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
17. Babs Seed Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
18. Turf Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
19. Spitfire Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
20. Shining Armor Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
21. Flash Sentry Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
22. Midnight Strike Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
23. Hoity Toity Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
24. Prince Blueblood Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
25. Silver Spoon Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
26. Cadance Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
27. Octavia Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
28. Vinyl Scratch Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
29. Horsepower Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A  
30. Lotus Blossom Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A


	16. Title Rankings - Week 1

Women's Eternal World Champion:

Champion: Lightning Dust  
1. Scootaloo  
2. Twilight Sparkle  
3. Sunset Shimmer  
4. Rarity  
5. Midnight Strike  
6. Diamond Tiara  
7. Turf  
8. Honeycomb  
9. Cadance  
10. Twist

World Fighters Champion:

Champion: To Be Decided  
1. Trixie  
2. Pinkie Pie  
3. Commander Hurricane  
4. Rainbow Dash  
5. Apple Bloom  
6. Photo Finish  
7. Pretty Vision  
8. Applejack  
9. Babs Seed  
10. Aloe

Champion of Carnage:

Champion: To Be Decided  
1. Overdrive  
2. Fancy Pants  
3. Gustave Le Grand  
4. Shining Armor  
5. Snips  
6. Snails  
7. Rumble  
8. Hugh Jelly  
9. Flash Sentry  
10. Star Swirl the Bearded

World Brawlers Champion:

1. Braeburn  
2. Happy Trails  
3. Hoity Toity  
4. Prince Blueblood  
5. Soarin  
6. Big MacIntosh  
7. Caramel  
8. Doughnut Joe  
9. Thunderlane  
10. Uncle Wing

Crater Chick Champion:  
Champion: To Be Decided  
1. Midnight Strike  
2. Honeycomb  
3. Twist  
4. Turf  
5. Silver Spoon  
6. Lyra  
7. Bon Bon  
8. Fleur De Lis  
9. Cloudchaser  
10. Flitter

International Champion:  
Champion: To Be Decided  
1. Spitfire  
2. Lotus Blossom  
3. Nurse Redheart  
4. Daring Do  
5. Sweetie Belle  
6. Babs Seed  
7. Photo Finish  
8. Pretty Vision  
9. Inkie Pie  
10. Blinkie Pie

Chick Combo Champions:  
Champions: To Be Decided  
1. Sunset Shimmer & Lightning Dust  
2. Twilight Sparkle & Rarity  
3. Diamond Tiara & Turf  
4. Diamond Tiara & Silver Spoon  
5. Turf and Silver Spoon  
6. Lyra and Bon Bon  
7. Flitter and Cloudchaser  
8. Cadance and Twilight Sparkle

Sublime Tag Team Champions:  
Champions: Beauty Shot (Pretty Vision & Photo Finish)  
1. Octavia & Vinyl Scratch  
2. Aloe and Lotus Blossom  
3. The Ghost Girls (Inkie Pie and Blinkie Pie)  
4. Apple Bloom & Sweetie Belle  
5. Red Delicious & Golden Delicious  
6. Applejack & Apple Bloom  
7. Red Delicious & Apple Bloom  
8. Golden Delicious & Apple Bloom  
9. Red Delicious & Applejack  
10. Golden Delicious & Applejack

Combos of Carnage Tag Team Champions:  
Champions: To Be Decided  
1. EGO (Gustave Le Grand and Fancy Pants)  
2. Braeburn & Happy Trails  
3. Snips & Snails  
4. BroMans (Shining Armor & Flash Sentry)  
5. Canterlot Class (Hoity Toity & Prince Blueblood)  
6. Hoops & Dumb-Bell  
7. Couch-Mate (Davenport & Check Mate)  
8. Horsepower & Rumble  
9. Hugh Jelly & Clip Clop  
10. Dance Fever & Bill Neigh


	17. Smarks Discuss - Week 1

_Wrestling fans are natural born complainers. Sometimes their complaints are justified, but other times, they're just plain ignorant. Wrestling hasn't been around for a long time in Equestria, but even back in the day, people were talking about how boring Kluh Nagoh was and how he needed to drop the title to Treb Tarh and retire._

_Now that wrestling is back, a whole new generation of complainers have begun to fluctuate._

_We have assigned our officials to stalk any and all forum threads, in order to bring you these "smarks'" silliest conversations about pro wrestling._

On Lunacy:

ninjawarriorofawesome69: So...is Twilight Sparkle a heel or what? Her promo gave off the sense that she was full of herself i don't get her gimmick.

blumakunama (in reply): pretty sure she's a face i think she's supposed to be like a new school kluh nagoh and right all the wrongs of the heels like sunset shimmr and lightning dust

ninjawarriorofawesome69 (in reply): Ah...makes sense. I HOPE she's a heel though. What a great gimmick that'd be. She's like this troll heel that acts like a face? Not sure how to describe it...

buttsecks (in reply): Twahlet Spahckle's gimmick: Harsh German.

lloydburger (in reply): Thats...HARSH *puts on sunglasses* YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

buttsecks (in reply): NO.

lloydburger (in reply): M. Bison: YES! YEEEEEESSSS!

lickthebook: Who else here thinks Rumble is AWESOME? (+173 people liked this post.)

neatone2222 (in reply): I found his constant use of the word "gorgeous" to be a tad bit annoying. What kind of man calls himself "gorgeous"?

bunsenburnah (in reply): THE RUMBLE KIND.

theDALEKtravels (in reply to lickthebook): He's got a pretty cool gimmick. Can see him being one of those annoying model-type heels that the crowd just begins to cheer. (+45 liked this post.)

POOTIS (in reply to lickthebook): BEST GIMMICK EVER. The guy just stands there to SNAP SELFIES. He's got a roided up bodyguard and two hot chicks with him. The hell is wrong with that image? NOTHING. (+12 liked this post.)

lickthebook (in reply to POOTIS): Very true...Flitter and Cloudchaser are my favorite ship now. I can also see Rumble being shipped with himself. Hope he wins the title at Proving Ground. (+41 liked this post.)

James Loney: In my opinion, Overdrive's match with that bouncer guy was boring as HELL. Overdrive needs to train some more, and work on his mic skills. I don't think he should be in the inaugural storyline for the main male's title, but that's just me. (+28 liked this post.)

blarneystone (in reply to James Loney): Totally agree. Surprised the crowd didn't crap on the match. Horsepower was also very stiff, but I think he overall did better than Overdrive. The hell is up with his wrestling attire? He supposed to be some kind of cyborg?

Cyborg from Teen Titans (in reply to James Loney): There's only ONE Cyborg, baby! BOOYA! (INFINITE liked this post.)

blarneystone (in reply to Cyborg from Teen Titans): ...Nice.

MandoPony: Scootaloo is my favorite superstar right now. Love her attitude, and she put on a great match with Diamond Tiara and an even greater performance in the battle royal. I KNOW she'll get over HUGE with the fans.

4chan (in reply to MandoPony): i want to lick scootaloo's virgin clit

Babyalligator: Diamond Tiara rocked it. What a fucking bitch she was. One of the most promising talents in the company...can't wait to see how her feud with Scootaloo plays out. (+17 liked this post.)

boobaby (in reply): dt is a bitch.

Jon Moxley (in reply to boobaby): And a great one, at that. I want to smash her face in, and that's a good thing. She plays her role perfectly.

xxxlover (in reply to Jon Moxley): I feel that Turf isn't getting enough love. She's as an overbearing cunt as Diamond Tiara is!

glamourgirl (in reply to xxxlover): And her hair is super cute, too!

Turfno1fan (in reply to xxxlover): FUCK YA TURF'S THE BEST.

The Awkward Reviewer: Overall, highly impressive and entertaining first show. Mr. Filthy Rich is one of the greatest moguls in Equestria, and he proved he's not a GREEDY one by bringing back a sport that a lot of people have missed for DECADES into the limelight. Many feuds were established, and I'm looking forward to all of them. My favorite is the Cadance and Sunset Shimmer feud. To me, the more personal a storyline is, the better, and THIS storyline has gotten PRETTY personal so far. There's a lot of fun characters: Rumble is just hilarious to me, and a pretty good HEEL underdog. That's right, a HEEL underdog. THAT'S a rare thing, and it's pulled off pretty well by him. The trio of the "Mean Girls", as I call them, are the PERFECT bitchy stereotypes. I personally LOVE stereotypes in wrestling, and Scootaloo is the PERFECT girl for them to go after. She's smaller, and apparently they've been doing this with her for YEARS. The Oddities are, well...odd, in a good way. Midnight Strike is the odd one out, no pun intended, in that group, and I just find that hilarious. I can only hope Lightning Dust is the chicken-shit heel champion that nearly EVER heel champion was back in the day. I hope she faces her problems, not RUNS from them. If creative can give her a meaningful reign, than the Women's Enternal championship already highly prestigious. Can't wait for the for next show. Keep up the good work (+482 liked this post.)

notatroll (in reply): lol too much text didn't read.

Sethisto: Needs more Trixie.

On Sublime:

fred2266: COMMANDER HURRICANE...that is all. (+728 liked this post.)

notatroll (in reply): YES. All hail the great Goddess of troll gimmicks!

lucky17 (in reply to notatroll): How does Commander Hurricane have a "troll gimmick"?

notatroll: lol didn't watch the show? She comes out with bad-ass guards and bad-ass ring gear (YOU SEE THAT CHROME FAUX-HAWK OF HERS?) She rapes Nurse Rapeheart the entirety of the match, Rapeheart goes to rape her with a few elbows, chrome-hawk HITS HER WITH ARMOR EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS CLEARLY IN CONTROL DESPITE A FEW RAPE ELBOWS AND CHEATS TO WIN, proving she is not a bad-ass, but a bad-ass troll, the best kind of troll.

Troll gimmick. (+237 like this post.)

bennyhill (in reply to notatroll): I can tell who my favorite user on this board is going to be...

notatroll (in reply to bennyhill): yeah construct monuments fagg0t.

WHATATWIST: That Daring Do tease took the life out of me...I wanted to see my favorite book character in the ring! ;( oh well...I still enjoyed it. Maybe next week?

klunkybutt (in reply): if that bitch doesn't wrestler next week, ill quit waching this shitty company it sucks (comment removed due to multiple dislikes.)

straightouttacompton: WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

1,472 other viewers (in reply): WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

straightouttacompton( in reply): What have I started, yo...0_o

arevolution (in reply): #DaringRevolution (+2,382 liked this post.)

mackncheeze (in reply to arevolution): We're gonna make this a thing, right?

konyy2k (in reply to mackncheeze): Sure are. We want Daring Do next week on Sublime! We must make sure they know of our desires! I'm going to Lunacy, my first EWF show this monday...look out for the big "#DaringRevolution" sing. I'll start chanting. Everybody chant with me! Whether you're at the show or at home, help us get our voices out there! (+1,649 like this post.)

bob: That tag team title match was pretty good. Pretty Vision is a lovable ditz!

Job-Guy: Rainbow Dash seems like a pretty cool gal. Wonder if she can go in the ring?

galpal (in reply): no but she can go in my bed.

notatroll (in reply to galpal): i call gimmick infringement.

4chan: I want to cum inside Commander Hurricane. (+9,289 like this post.)

MandoPony: Don't we all? Wink

Anonymous: WRESTLING IS GAY.

notatroll (in reply): there's the troll you were looking for, folks. (+231 like this post.)

The Awkward Reviewer: The first episode of Sublime, while I did not enjoy it as much as Lunacy, was still a great first showing. I do enjoy Sublime's handling of titles more thus far. A tournament for the world title is a great idea. I hope Rainbow Dash wins the title. Even though I haven't seen her in action yet, I just feel a strong liking towards her. Trixie is a great heel and opponent for her. The tag title match didn't really do much for me. Pretty Vision must be pretty stupid, because "taking advantage" and "cheating" are, in some cases, the same thing. This, was one of those cases. The match was good, but I just haven't been given a reason to care about either team. I, like many others, enjoy the HELL out of the Daring Do character, and it's cool to see it brought to life. I didn't mind her having a promo. After all, you HAVE to build the character up. I do look forward to seeing the fans speak their minds, though. Should be fun to hear the "We Want Daring" chants. I'll chant along, not to see Daring Do in a match, but to see her PERIOD. Commander Hurricane is a funny character, though I find myself more interested in Squire...is HE ever going to have a match? Would be interesting. Just like Lunacy, Sublime has a lot of interesting characters, and we haven't even seen HALF of EITHER rosters characters yet! I particularly like the time of Braeburn and Happy Trails, and I'd like to see them win the tag titles at Proving Grounds. Once again, great show, though so far, I believe Lunacy has more going for it. (+289 like this post.)

swagmastah: Everybody's gay for Braeburn. (+nobody like this post.)

Sethisto: Hmmm...fair amount of Trixie...BUT NOT ENOUGH.


	18. Lunacy - 1-8-14

_The beautiful people...OOOOHHHHHHHHH..._

-Pyro goes off as the Lunacy intro which I'm too lazy to make ends, as well as the theme song. It is another sold out crowd at the Lunacy asylum. The fans that were reeled in last week are looking forward to seeing how this episode will play out-

-In the ring are golden and green balloons tied to the ring-rope, a pinata that looks an awful lot like Lightning Dust, a giant cake that is adorned by her loving face, and a giant banner above the ring that says "Congratulations, Lightning Dust!" in green and gold letters.

Garble: Holy crap...has it been a week already?

Ahuizotl: Unfortunately! Try to be less of a jerk this week, alright, boy?

Garble: Haha! I can't help it if you can't handle my extra-special style of commentary!

Ahuizotl: No I can't! But you don't have to act like such a hormone-filled TEENAGER!

Garble: Speaking of hormones...when was the last time YOU got some? Can't imagine a chick would be too thrilled to lay down with you...

Ahuizotl: BE QUIET!

Garble: She probably has to take it from the back...

Ahuizotl: I ASSURE YOU that YOUR MOTHER can't keep her eyes OFF OF MINE! -his chest heaves-

Garble: Now that was just uncalled for... -frowns-

Ahuizotl: WHAT?! You INSULT my primal instincts, yet cannot admit when you've been bested?!

Garble: I'm a TEENAGER...all we do is spew mindless insults...YOU'RE all grown up...I'm disappointed in the way you handled this menial desire for some small-talk.

Ahuizotl: ...I-I...that icing on that cake in the ring? Ah, SCREW IT!

-Garble smirks inside-

_Welcome to the Danger Zo-ooonne_! -Mixture of half cheers and boos-

Ahuizotl: And as you may have noticed, it is time for the championship celebration, of the first EVER Women's Eternal World Champion...Lightning Dust.

Garble: Have some more enthusiasm, jeez! It's the GRAND DEBUT of OUR champion! Lightning Dust! This is such a special moment in the short history of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation...she overcame all odds, she defied expectations, she surprised us all-

Ahuizotl: She cheated.

Garble: There were NO RULES.

Ahuizotl: Doesn't have to be a rule to cheat...

Announcer: Please welcome...the NEEEEEEEWWWWWW...Women's...Eternal...World CHHHAAAMMPPIOOONNNNN...LLLLLLIIIIIGGHTTTTNNIIINNGGG DUUUUUSSSSSTTTTTT!

-Lightning Dust walks down the ramp in a blue and white hoodie, as she teases the fans with her title. She gets in the ring and marvels at the decorations around her. She is handed a mic, as small chants of "Lightning Dust" are heard-

Lightning Dust: -Rests the title over her shoulder- Thank you! Thank you! It's great to start off Monday Night Lunacy as YOUR Eternal Women's Champion...-she points out to the fans- All of the fan-mail that I've gotten over the past week has REALLY gotten to me...to the point where I almost can't BELIEVE where I stand today...it only fuels me to defend this title week-in, and week-out...just so all you nobodies will have something to cheer for. -More crowd boos- I mean, let's just imagine what the landscape would look like if I really WAS eliminated last week...Twilight Sparkle? You'd all be practicing the "Magic of Friendship" had she won. I'm not here to make friends! I'm here to DOMINATE the competition, to OUTSHINE those that didn't allow me to shine AT ALL growing up! Scootaloo? Is she really even WORTHY of being in the same ring as me? Pfttt! I think not...she's WAY to reckless and irresponsible to represent Lunacy as it's champion...I mean, LOOK at what she did to Diamond Tiara! There's no TELLING how long she'll be out for...no...at the end of the day, NOBODY in that match deserved to hold this title as much as ME! I've got the high-flying skills Scootaloo WISH she had, and I can suplex CIRCLES around Twilight Sparkle...-Lightning Dust looks at her pinata- Ya know, THIS makes NO sense...who would want to bust open the FACE of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation? -She cackles, and looks straight at the camera- EAT YOU HEART OUT, RAINBOW DASH! -She then cackles some more-

_A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head..._ -Most of the crowd cheers, but there are still some noticeable boos-

Garble: How DISRESPECTFUL! This is the time to CELEBRATE! Twilight LOST! Why can't she just let Lightning Dust have her moment? And there's that little DORK Spike, too!

Ahuizotl: Because our oh-so-humble champion has done nothing but insulted the other participants in last week's battle royal. Lightning Dust isn't the ONLY gifted superstar in the back...also, lay off of Spike! He's had a tough life. He loves his sister and has been waiting ALL week to join her in the ring.

Garble: At least you realize the girl's skills...

Ahuizotl: Of COURSE she has skills. She isn't the champion for NOTHING!

-Twilight high fives the many fans in the crowd, though mostly the kids. Lightning Dust yawns, and lounges on the top turnbuckle as she enters the ring. Spike fetches a microphone and gives it to Twilight-

Lightning Dust: I don't remember R.S.V.P'ing anybody to this party...

Twilight: I'm VERY disappointed in your actions thus far, Lightning Dust...

Dust: Sorry, mom...-smirks-...was going to walk Larry in a few hours...COMPLETELY slipped my mind...

Twilight: This is SERIOUS. You come out here, insult me and my performance last week-

Dust: Not JUST you...me and Sunset Shimmer were the only two deserving of winning, but I still addressed the performance of everybody else in the match. Stop thinking about yourself.

Twilight: I realize I wasn't the only one in the match. Scootaloo also put on an INSPIRING performance, Midnight Strike showed us something that she didn't get the chance to in her previous match, and, yes, Sunset Shimmer was impressive, as well. Just because you won, however, does not give you the right to forget all of that.

Dust: Actually, it does. I got drunk off my ass after I won, so I completely forgot everything that happened after that bell rang. -Gasp- Oh, I know! Why don't you write a letter documenting how your night went, Twilight? -More cheers of "Lightning Dust" are heard at Dust's brave jab at Princess Celestia-

Twilight: That's disrespectful...also, you called SCOOTALOO irresponsible? I don't believe a CHAMPION should go out and party. I believe they should focus on strategizing for their first title defense!

Dust: Yeah? Well, that's not saying much, considering how much of a hermit you are. "Crowd "OOOHHH's" at that- When the time comes, a strategy won't be needed...nobody on Lunacy can take this title from me.

Twilight: You don't even DESERVE that title! You CHEATED to win it!

Dust: HAHA! Going in for the kill, aren't we? -Dust steps off the turnbuckle, and approaches Twilight- Listen, Mary-Sue...the only rules in a Battle Royal is that you have to go OVER THE TOP ROPE, with BOTH FEET hitting the floor to be eliminated...I went for a spear, and went through the MIDDLE ROPE. Sure, both of my feet DID hit the floor, but that does not matter if I didn't go OVER THE TOP ROPE. Do you understand what I am saying? You cannot do one without the other. I figured with all that book-reading you do, you would've read the wrestling HANDBOOK.

Twilight: There is no such thing as that.

Dust: Then use some common sense. The announcer SAID it right before the match began.

Twilight: That is still no excuse for you biding your time outside of the ring, and taking advantage of me and Scootaloo when we were clearly engaging in a heated battle.

Dust: Oh yeah..."heated", huh? Is that why I heard the crowd sitting on their hands the ENTIRE time? Look, I fell outside the ring RIGHT IN FRONT of you. You were stunned, yeah, but I KNOW you saw me...why not just slide out under the bottom rope, or even go through the middle rope, pick my ass up, and throw my ass back into the ring? Didn't we learn at wrestling school that you should always be aware of your surroundings, outside AND inside of that ring?

Twilight: You could've got right back up and gotten back in the ring, not stay outside like a coward.

Dust: Falling onto that floor outside HURTS like a bitch, Sparkle. Hell, I thought you'd know that! After all, I DID throw you out MYSELF.

Twilight: Well, you weren't hurt when you eliminated me and Scootaloo from BEHIND.

Dust: Why are you up on the top turnbuckle IN THE FIRST PLACE? That is the WRONG place to be in a Battle Royal! It's grounds for an EASY trip to the floor outside! Once again, you did something without THINKING, which I thought you were a MASTER of?

Twilight: I was THINKING...thinking about WINNING.

Dust: Don't you think I was, too? That's why I'm HERE. To WIN. Apparently, I was thinking a LOT more than YOU. I had a gameplan, and that was to wait it out. If you, or nobody else could see through it, then you're all IDIOTS.

-Spike kindly grabs Twilight's microphone-

Spike: Stop talking to Twilight like that, Lightning Dust! She IS smarter than you, and she IS a better wrestler than you! If you put that title on the line against her, she'll PROVE it. And she won't stoop to such low levels to win it!

Garble: Oh my God-KICK HIM IN THE NUTS.

Dust: -Smirks- Listen, Spike...I know your story. I know what you've been through in your life. But if you let your sister get in the ring with me...I'll make her wish SHE was adopted.

-Twilight gets in Dust's face-

Ahuizotl: This is becoming about more than the title QUICKLY, folks...

Garble: Don't be ridiculous. It's ALWAYS about the title!

So together we are lost on the moon... -Crowd cheers, as Twilight quickly turns her head towards the ramp, while Lightning Dust slowly cranes her head in the same direction-

Garble: Now THIS is an interruption I can get behind!

Ahuizotl: -Sigh- And HERE comes the kiss-upping...

Garble: It's the general manager of Lunacy! The show is practically NAMED after her, you dummy!

Luna: -Once again raises a hand, silencing the fans at once. Except for one lone fan that begins to chant "WE WANT DARING" accompanied by 5 claps. He continues to chant it, until nearly the entire crowd is doing it. Luna smiles at this- This is not my decision, but I WILL talk to my sister about that. -She winks at the crowd, and they all cheer- On a more serious topic: You two may argue about the schematics of professional wrestling ALL NIGHT, but it won't even matter. Despite the way she did it, Lightning Dust is the Eternal Women's World champion-

Dust: -Begins slapping the title with a hand- THAT'S RIGHT!

Luna: ...You cannot change that, Twilight. She DID do it within the context of the rules. Speaking of rules, one rule of the EWF, is that EVERY champion MUST defend their title within a 30 day period, or they will no longer be champion. Lightning Dust, despite what you might think, this rule DOES apply to you.

Dust: That's FINE, GML! I realize what responsibilities come with being champion. I'm here to PROVE myself, and the best way to do that is to WIN!

Luna: Hmmm...very well. Tonight, we will decide who the number 1 contender to your championship will be. I've noticed that there are QUITE a few rivalries brewing here on Lunacy, and I'm going to give all the catalysts in these rivalries the chance to develop a NEW rivalry...with YOU, Lightning Dust.

Dust: It doesn't matter if I've got EVERY superstar in this COMPANY on my tail! I'll beat 'em ALL.

Luna: We shall see. Tonight's main event will pit the team of Twilight Sparkle, Cadance, Rarity, and Scootaloo against the team of Sunset Shimmer, Turf, Silver Spoon...and Lightning Dust, in an 8 woman tag team match. -The crowd cheers- Whoever gets the pinfall, will face Lightning Dust at Proving Grounds...for the Eternal Woman's World Championship.

Dust: Piece of cake. What happens if I get the pin, though?

Luna: Then you will receive the right to PICK your opponent. It may be WHOEVER you chose.

Dust: -Nods in a cocky way- How fair!

Luna: We are pleased that the champion respects our decision. If she is victorious, we will respect HER decision. -Luna leaves the stage-

-Lightning Dust has grasped her title with both hands. She plans to hit Twilight with it. As Twilight turns around, she is saved from a severe blow by Spike kicking Lightning Dust in the shin. Spike and Twilight quickly leave the ring as Lightning Dust falls to the mat. The crowd mostly boos-

Garble: This crowd has the right idea! If Spike has so much FAITH in Twilight, couldn't he have believed that Twilight would've countered Lightning Dust's attack?!

Ahuizotl: Now you're just making excuses.

Garble: The crowd is seeing what you're NOT seeing. They realize that THAT was cowardly by Spike!

-Spike raises Twilight's hand on the ramp, as Lightning Dust pounds the mat in frustration.-

Ahuizotl: This crowd is NUTS. They were chanting for DARING DO! WHY!?

Garble: Something tells me the crowd isn't done yet...-The camera pans to konyy2k, who is holding up a giant "#DaringRevolution" sign like he SAID HE WOULD. The crowd sees this on the titantron, cheers, and begins to chant "WE WANT DARING" along with five more claps-

Ahuizotl: DAMMIT, CELESTIA! GIVE THEM DARING DO ON FRIDAY SO THEY'LL STOOOOOPP!

*Commercial*

-Trending on Twitter: "#WeWantDaring", "#DaringRevolution."-

Ahuizotl: You FOOLS! What is so redeeming about that nasty woman?!

Garble: She's like Lara Croft...but better. Get a clue!

Ahuizotl: WHATEVER. Let's just get the action for tonight started!

-The sound of a drill whirs through the arena-

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FALLL...introducing first...from Lonevyille...weighing 132 pounds...COOOLLLGAAATTEEEEEE!

-Colgate stalks out, wearing a black-and white laboratory-like suit, and white gloves-

Ahuizotl: Oh NO...HOLD ME.

Garble: Normally I'd decline, but in this case...-Ahuizotl and Garble hold each other- We are about to witness the singles debut of Colgate...the most EVIL dentist in Equestria...

Ahuizotl: And no, we're not overreacting! Colgate uses the BIGGEST drill imaginable, doesn't wear gloves, and REFUSES to give you a lollipop after she's done!

Garble: It's UNTHINKABLE!

Colgate: -Grinning at the commentators- Hey, Garble! Need a fill-in?!

Garble and Ahuizotl: AHHHHHHHHH! -They hide under the announce table-

-Colgate turns towards the ramp, and cracks her knuckles in anticipation-

_I swear I won't tease you, won't tell you no lies..._ -MASSIVE boos-

Garble: EVEN WORSE!

Announcer: And her opponent...from Loneyville...weighing 123 pounds...OH CHRIST IT'S TWIST!

-Twist blows a kiss at the announcer, and twerks down to the ring. She slides into the ring, as this week, the cameraman has learned his lesson by NOT going in for the ass shot. He instead pans to a shot of a slightly intrigued Colgate-

-Once in the ring, Twist walks up to Colgate, and begins to grind on her with her ass-

Twist: Oh, Doctow Cothate...I don't need a cavity thiwwing, but I DEW need a THYSICAL...-waggles her eyebrows-

Ahuizotl: Better her than me!

Colgate: -Not amused- Sweetie...the only thing YOU'LL need after this match...IS A FUNERAL. -Floors Twist with a right hand, and begins to kick her down with big boots every time she tries to get up.-

Garble: I can't believe I'm saying this...BUT GO COLGATE!

Match 1: Colgate vs Twist

-4 minutes of domination later...-

-Chants of "THANK YOU COLGATE" ring through the arena, as Colgate manically grabs Twist by the hair, and pulls her up-

*BRUSH, RINSE, REPEAT!* -Crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: What a move by Colgate!

-Colgate hooks the leg-

1...2...3! *DINGDINGDINGGG*

Announcer: Here is your winner...COOOOOOLLLGAAATTEEEEE...

Garble: No! Don't end it yet! Do it again!

Crowd: ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!

-Colgate picks Twist up, and delivers another "Brush, Rinse, Repeat" to her. The crowd erupts in cheers once again-

Crowd: THANK YOU COLGATE! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THANK YOU COLGATE! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

-Colgate jams a hand into Twist's mouth, and begins to yank at the lower-part of her mouth-

Ahuizotl: Ouch, Ouch, OUCH!

Garble: Such AWFUL memories...

-Colgate stops yanking when she notices blood wash over her hand. She exits the ring, and walks up the aisle, grinning like a maniac. Twist lays in the ring, blood pouring from her teeth-

Garble: Well, Dr. Colgate didn't get any teeth as a souvenir, but she sure did give Twist her own souvenir, in the form of a malicious beating!

Ahuizotl: Malicious is NOTHING. She wanted to rip TEETH out of her mouth!

Garble: I'd rather HAVE a root canal than see more of Twist dancing...

Ahuizotl: You and me both, partner...you and me both...

*Sunset Shimmer's locker room*

Sunset Shimmer: -With her arms crossed- Alright, slime...what was the deal with you attacking Shining Armor last week?

Snails: -A lost look on his face- Huh huh! What a great name for our tag team...eh, Snips?

Snips: Yeaaahhhhh...Slllliimmeeeee...I like it! Thanks, Sunset!

-Sunset backs the two up against a cubby-

Sunset: And thanks for ANSWERING MY QUESTION! -Growling- WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT RINGSIDE LAST WEEK?

Snips: -Sweating- W-we...we have to worry about OUR careers too, Sunset...

Snails: Y-yeah...we had to make an impact! -Grins goofily-

Sunset: So worry about them, then! You could've made a BIGGER impact by helping ME win the title! Don't you want to be associated with the biggest star on Lunacy?

Snips: O-of course we do!

Snails: A-and we already are! You don't need a title to be the most dominate star on Lunacy, Sunset!

-Sunset backs off, and begins to think about that statement-

Sunset: -Smirks- Hmph...well played. I suppose you're right, but the title IS a little extra leverage to help the claim. You shouldn't have wasted your time on SHINING ARMOR, though...

Snips: He was right there. We felt it was worth it.

Sunset: Well, you'll see if it is in the long run...I can imagine that he's pretty pissed at you guys right about now...he'll be looking to did to you what you did to him.

Snips: We're not worried about Shining Armor! We gave him a CONCUSSION! He'll never be the same after what we did to him!

Snails: Huh huh, yeah! Aaaand when he comes back...we'll do it again!

-Flash Sentry comes barging into the locker room-

Flash Sentry: There you are, Sunny! What are THESE two jackasses doing in YOUR locker room?

Snails: Nnnnnno! We're Slime!

-Sunset puts her arms around Flash-

Sunset: Oh, babe...ignore them...you know me and them are good friends...

Flash: Friends or not, because of them, MY FRIEND had to have 17 stitches in his forehead...because of them, MY FRIEND is going to be out of action until further notice!

Sunset: -Scolds Flash- You need to calm down. They're trying to make an impact like everybody else. Just be glad it wasn't YOU.

Flash: -Shrinks a little under his girlfriend's stare- S-sorry, Sunny...I'd like to see them try to do it to me, though.

Sunset: -Rubs Flash's chin with her thumb and index finger- Why not ask for a match, then? Then you can take out AAAAALLLL your frustrations on them, and make me proud at the SAME TIME.

Flash: -Giggles like only a MANLY MAN can- I-is it okay if I already went to Princess Luna and asked for one?

Sunset: -Disapproving glare- ...Fine. I'll let it slide this ONE time, but I'd appreciate it if you'd ask me BEFORE-HAND...okay?

Flash: -Gulps- Y-yes, Sunny...of course. It won't happen again...

Sunset: -Kisses Flash on the lips...passionately and forcefully- ...Good. Now, go get ready for your match...I have to get ready for MINE. -Winks-

Flash: Y-yes, ma'am! -Looks past Sunset- You two bozos better decide which one of you is going to face me...and QUICK. -Quickly scurries out of the locker room-

Snips: Heh heh...see? We're not worried, Sunset.

Snails: Huh huh, yeeeaah! He sweats as you stare at him! He can't handle Snips in the ring!

Snips: -Eyes bulge- M-ME?! Why don't YOU face him?

Sunset: He sweats because I OWN him...and I own YOU morons, too! Hmmmm...now, let's see...which one of you deserves to get destroyed? -She repeatedly looks between Snips and Snails- Hmmmm...-After many moments of thinking, she slaps Snails across the face- Get out there, Snails! Impress me...OR ELSE.

Snails: Y-yes, ma'am! -Runs out of the locker room-

Snips: Heh heh...poor guy. So, Sunset...wanna watch the match with me?

-Sunset slaps Snips-

Sunset: You IDIOT! He's your PARTNER! Don't leave him hanging! GO OUT THERE!

-Snips doesn't say a word. He just grimaces at the slap, and rubs it as he walks out of the locker room-

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FALL...introducing first, from CANTERLOT...weighing in at 225 pooouundsss...FLLLLASSSHHH...SEEENNTTRRRYYY! -Most of the crowd boos, and barrage Flash Sentry with chants of "You're A Pussy" along with five claps to make it even worse-

Ahuizotl: I do not envy Snails ONE BIT...Flash Sentry had to watch his best friend, Shining Armor, bleed on the floor in front of him...

Garble: Plus, he's got SUNSET SHIMMER "warming him up" every single day of the week. With advantages like THAT, Flash Sentry could take on THE WORLD.

Ahuizotl: Even IF Sunset acts a little...rough.

Garble: Eh, a girl's gotta be able to keep her man in line. Sunset knows what she's doing!

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: Aaaannndddd, his opponent...from LONEYVILLE...weighing 197 pooouunddsss...SNAAAIILLLSSSS! -Some slight crowd cheers, but most are boos-

Garble: I wouldn't underestimate Snails, he's going to be crafty in that ring. He's light on his feet, if not a bit unorthodox.

Ahuizotl: He also has some momentum on his side, as we bring up the attack on Shining Armor last week.

Garble: -Nods- He may not have been expecting it, but that doesn't matter. Snips and Snails DESTROYED Shining Armor last week on Lunacy! 17 stitches, 'Zotl...17! Can you count that high?

Ahuizotl: -Grins- So...how about the bravery of Spike in the opening segment? Kid's got quite a bit of spunk.

Garble: FOCUS ON THE MATCH.

Match 2: Snails vs Flash Sentry

-Snails comes right out of the gate, backing Flash into a corner and thrusting him in the head with elbows-

Garble: See what I mean? Just look at the way he uses his elbows...how he rears back and clicks his tongue with each strike. It's such a different style of wrestling.

Ahuizotl: It indeed is. I wonder if that will render Flash Sentry out of his game.

*14 minutes later*

-Snails clutches his hands around Flash's abdomen. He lifts him up for a back suplex, but Flash counters by flipping himself over and landing on his feet.-

Ahuizotl: Flash thwarts the high impact move by landing on his feet.

-Snails comes charging at Flash, but Flash lowers himself by the ropes, pressing it down to send Snails over it.-

Garble: Snails hangs on, though!

-Flash rushes up to Snails, but Snails nails him with a shoulder block on the apron. Flash backs up quite a ways away from Snails. Snails leaps off of the top rope, but his attack is blocked as Flash kicks him in the gut on the way down. Flash grabs Snails' own abdomen, and positions his head between his legs.-

Ahuizotl: Uh oh...this doesn't look GOOOOOOO- *FLASH FLOOD (Basically the Canadian Destroyer)* WOW! WHAT A MOVE BY FLASH SENTRY!

Garble: HE JUST FLIPPED HIMSELF AND HIS OPPONENT INTO THE AIR, AND LANDED SNAILS RIGHT ON HIS NECK!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

-Even Snips is in awe, as Flash turns Snails onto his back, and hooks his leg-

1...2...3! -More of the crowd begins to cheer for Flash now over his spectacular new finishing move-

Ahuizotl: It's over!

Garble: OF COURSE IT IS! DID YOU SEE WHAT HE JUST DID?!

Ahuizotl: I absolutely did! Let's see it again!

Garble: IN ALL THE ANGLES! ALL THE ANGLES AND SLOW MOTION PLEASE!

*At least 10 more replays of the Flash Flood on Snails are shown*

Announcer: Here is your WINNNEERRR...FLLLLLAAAASSSHHHHH...SEEEENNNTTRRRRRYYYYYY!

-The crowd begins to chant "One More Time", but before Flash can humor the crowd, Snips enters the ring and attacks him from behind-

Garble: DAMMIT! I want to see the Flash Food AGAIN!

Ahuizotl: Snips better watch himself, or Flash could hit it on HIM.

Garble: YES! It can come out of NOWHERE, too!

-The crowd begins to boo as Snips uses the ropes to jump into the air and CRUSH his knee against Flash's abdomen a few times-

Crowd: FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!

-Snips brings Flash to his feet, and then sends him out to the floor as he RAMS his shoulder against the steel post. The crowd continues to boo-

-Snips places Flash's head up against the outside ring-post, and grins wickedly at the steel steps on the other side of him.-

Ahuizotl: Oh no...he's going to do to Flash what he did to Shining Armor last week!

Garble: Someone stop him!

-Snips goes over to pick them up, as Shining Armor jumps over the barricade from behind him. He has a thick bandage enveloping his forehead. He tells the crowd to shush, and they obey.-

Garble: Wait...th-that's...

Ahuizotl: SHINING ARMOR! SHINING ARMOR IS HERE!

Garble: And Snips has NO CLUE!

-Shining quickly rummages through the ring apron. He soon pulls out a steel chair.-

Garble: This isn't going to turn out good for Snips...

-Snips picks up the steel steps, and when he turns around, Shining thwacks the steel chair against the steps, the force causing Snips to fall to the floor, with the steps sitting atop his face-

Ahuizotl: OH MYYYYYY! WHAT A SHOT BY SHINING ARMOR!

-Shining continues to mesh steel against steel, as the steel steps collide against Snips' head under the rubble over and over again.-

-Flash groggily stumbles over to Shining, and forces him to stop. The crowd boos. Shining puts the chair down, and shares a look with Flash. They then look at the ring, and smirk.-

Garble: Uh oh...what do they have in mind? They've done enough damage!

-Flash picks up the steel steps, and tosses them into the ring. Shining Armor in turn picks up Snips, and tosses HIM into the ring. He grabs the steel chair just in case, and both he and Flash enter the ring.-

-Flash stands on top of the steel steps, and has Shining Armor feed him to him. Flash grabs Snips, and pulls him onto the steel steps with him. He positions his head between his legs. The crowd becomes unglued in realization of what is going to happen next.-

Garble: Oh shit...oh shit oh shit oh SHIT! IS HE GOING TO DO IT?!

Ahuizotl: He might as well! There's NO turning back now, Flash!

Garble: He's not going to do it...there's no way!

-Flash looks to the crowd, and their cheers rise more and more with each glance, until finally...-

*FLASH FLOOD ON THE STEEL STEPS!*

Ahuizotl: IT HAS BEEN DONE! IT HAS BEEN DONE!

Garble: THAT'S FUCKING INSAAAAANNEEEEEEEE!

-The crowd could not be more happier at that outcome.-

Crowd: THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: And the crowd LOVES IT! And rightfully so! That was the greatest thing I've ever seen!

Ahuizotl: *As more replays are shown* As if the first act of "Flash Flood" wasn't enough...Flash had to give them an ENCORE!

Garble: Flash Flood II: When Steel Steps Backfire!

-Snips lays unconscious on the mat, blood pouring out of his skull. Shining has to help Flash up, as his hip seems to be giving his problems.-

Ahuizotl: Flash may be hurting, but that had to have felt SO GOOD for him!

-As Snails tries to get back up, Shining Armor silences his stand with a clobbering chair shot to the back.-

Ahuizotl: And one for good measure on Snails!

-Shining lays the chair down, picks up Snails, and positions him by the chair.-

*REDACTED MOVE ON THE CHAIR* -The crowd erupts into more thunderous receptions.-

Crowd: BROMANS! BROMANS! BROMANS! BROMANS! BROMANS!

-Shining Armor and Flash each put a foot on the top of the steel steps, as they use their hands to look out at a sea of admirers. The chants continue, as their music hits.-

Ahuizotl: Snips and Snails thought they could handle Flash Sentry here tonight...they thought that Shining Armor would not be a disturbance in their plans...little did they know, Shining Armor was lurking in the shadows, and when he struck, it made a bigger impact than "Slime" could've ever imagined!

Garble: Are we really calling them "Slime" now? Well, it's appropriate, because "Slime" is now oozing all over the mat...courtesy of The Bromans! Shining Armor...and Flash Sentry!

-Backstage, EGO is seen watching the scene unfold on a monitor.-

Fancy Pants: -Turning to Gustave Le Grand.- And THAT, is EXACTLY why WE are challenging for the Combo of Carnage championships at Proving Ground. Ruffians like THOSE two don't DESERVE to represent the Equestrian Wrestling Federation's male tag team division.

Gustave: Hur hur...you are right, sir. We are the PERFECT example of what tag team wrestling is all about. A crisp offense, a chemistry that not be broken...-he turns to Fleur De Lis.-...Even a dashing mademoiselle...-he takes Fleur's hand, and kisses it. She giggles- -Gustave looks at the camera.- Speaking of "ruffians"...Braeburn! Happy Trails! -Gustave goes into his best western accent- Yippee ki-yay, pardners? -He snorts- Please...you two are an EMBARRASSMENT, a DISGRACE! EGO may as well be GIVEN the titles...

Fancy Pants: You have this strong connection with the crowd, but does that really matter? We don't think it does. EGO doesn't NEED the fans...the fans NEED EGO.

Gustave: Without EGO...the crowd deflates. And with you two "buckos" as their champions...they just may POP.

Fancy Pants: Which is why EGO is here to inflate them. With us as champions, they'll never run out of air...

-Gustave and Fancy Pants walk away, as Fleur continues to pose. When she notices she is alone, she runs after her clients.-

*Commercial*

_EHEHEHEHE...everybody come see the greatest show..._ -Crowd cheers-

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled from ONE FALL...introducing first, from CLOUDSDAAALLEEEEE...weighing 157 pooouunddsss...MIIDDDNNIIIGHTTT STRRRIIKKEEEE!

-Midnight once again has no intentions to mess around. She stomps to the ring as the other Oddities are doing their own thing behind her. Dance Fever is channeling his inner Michael Jackson as he tries to moonwalk...and trips. Bill Neigh is bullying a Rubik's cube, Clip Clop's cheeks are expanding because apparently he has an allergic reaction to the brand of facepaint he is using, and Hugh Jelly is using a turkey baster to extract the jelly from a jelly doughnut. He squirts the jelly into his mouth and throws the doughnut itself aside.-

Garble: Who would waste such a good doughnut like that?!

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: And, her opponent...from Crystalville...weighing 131 pounds...HOONNEEYYCCOOMMBBBBB!

Ahuizotl: And we now will get to see what the BEAUTIFUL former beautician Honeycomb can do when she's all alone in that ring.

Garble: In all honesty, though, she couldn't have drawn a WORSE opponent to be paired up with. Midnight is flat out PISSED after what happened in her debut match last week.

Ahuizotl: She put up a GREAT showing in the battle royal, as she was in the final 6, but her FIRST match was met with...unfortunate results...

Garble: She got screwed! And it was all thanks to that DOOF Hugh Jelly!

Ahuizotl: Hugh didn't mean it! It was a simple accident.

Garble: An accident that sent Midnight off the deep end! She told me that she's looking to rectify that loss. Like I said, I would not WANT to be Honeycomb...well, I would, because I'd get to play with my boobies...but, still...

Ahuizotl: You give teenagers everywhere a bad name...

Match 3: Midnight Strike vs Honeycomb

-Honeycomb smiles, and extends a hand to Midnight, but Midnight responds by chopping Honeycomb into oblivion.-

Ahuizotl: Can't really blame Midnight here. She's said before that she isn't out to make friends.

Garble: Then why does she hang out with the Oddities? I don't get it. There's nothing ODD about Midnight, other than the fact that she looks like a bee...but that's it! What makes her "fit" into this group?

Ahuizotl: She doesn't know either.

Garble: That's...ODD.

Ahuizotl: Did you mean to do that?

Garble: No. I was trying to find the mode.

Bill Neigh: I can appreciate that joke! -Tries to air-five Garble-

Garble: Fat chance, lens-pusher.

-9 minutes later-

-Midnight scoop slams Honeycomb down to the mat, and goes to the top-rope.-

Ahuizotl: How impressive has Midnight looked tonight? She REALLY wants to make up for that embarrassing loss to Twist last week.

Garble: And she's going to do it, too! Honeycomb hasn't been able to get out of the starting gate ALL match!

-Clip Clop finishes his "Go Midnight" balloon, and ties it together. When he swats it into the air, it just so happens to go into the ring. Midnight jumps off of the ropes, looking for a diving headbutt. Honeycomb moves out of the way, but the balloon lands on the mat and doesn't. Midnight's head pops the balloon, and thus, her eye is injured in the process.-

Ahuizotl: Oh! That's not good at all...

Garble: One of Midnight's stupid friends screwed up again!

-Clip Clop begins to cry as Midnight writhes in pain. She has to use the ropes to help herself up. Honeycomb takes advantage of the tragedy and rolls up Midnight.-

1...2...3!

Announcer: Here is your winner...HOONNEEYCOOMMBB!

Garble: Unbelievable...it happened AGAIN. Midnight got screwed AGAIN!

-Honeycomb goes to check on Midnight, but Midnight responds by blindly cutting her down to the mat with her own feet.- She rolls out of the ring, and kicks the first member of the Oddities she can reach in the nuts, as she can't see. Unfortunately for Dance Fever, he was the one.-

Dance Fever: UGH! My disco balls...

-Midnight has to be helped to the back by Bill Neigh and Hugh Jelly, as Clip Clop cries, knowing it was all his fault.-

Ahuizotl: Poor Clip Cop...he didn't mean to...

Garble: Doesn't matter! For the second week in a row, Midnight has lost a fight that she otherwise WOULDN'T have! Not only that, now she's actually HURT.

-Honeycomb hugs Clip Clop on the outside.-

Ahuizotl: Well, got to give it to Honeycomb. She knew her surroundings, and got the win in her debut singles match.

Garble: Yeah, but she got it by the skin of her teeth...

*Interview Area*

Interviewer: Ladies and gentlemen, I am here with one of the participants in that HUGE 8 women tag team main event...Cadance!

Cadance: -Smiles- Hello there, *REDACTED NAME*.

Interviewer: Cadance, tonight, you have the opportunity to accomplish TWO things: Take out Sunset Shimmer, and get the winning pinfall and face Lightning Dust at Proving Ground. What's your gameplan?

Cadance: Well, I can tell you ONE thing: I DO plan to take out Sunset Shimmer. If I can get my hands on her, and pin her, though...wow. That's like killing THREE birds with one stone. I'll then move on to Proving Ground, and beat that tramp's friend for the championship! That'll make up for EVERYTHING that's happened to me...me and my Shining Armor. -Determined face- By the end of the month, we won't have to worry about that SKANK Sunset Shimmer ever aga-

-Cadance is blindsided by Sunset Shimmer. The interviewer scurries away as Sunset stands over Cadance's body. The leans down to her face.-

Sunset: Well now...you can't do ANY of those things if you're not even IN THE MATCH! -Sunset stomps on her gut, and drags her down the hall a little bit. She stops at a black chest.- You should've kept your nose out of MY BUSINESS, barbie! You'll ALWAYS have to worry about me...-Sunset places Cadance's head inside the chest.-...ALWAYS! -And slams it down on top of it.-

-Sunset places a boot on top of Cadance's already damaged head, and adds more pressure to it by forcing her boot down.-

Sunset: You're pa-THETIC! What does Shining Armor see in YOU? -Chuckles- By the end of this whole fiasco, he WILL realize that you are not as strong and AGGRESSIVE -Even more pressure- A WOMAN AS ME!

-Sunset removes her boot from her fallen victim's head and smirks as Shining Armor rushes up to Cadance.-

Sunset: Speak of the devil...do you SEE this, Shining Armor? Do you SEE what I've done to your sweetheart? THAT cannot be done to me! I'm BULLETPROOF!

Shing Armor silently looks at Cadance's unconscious frame. He is quickly surprised by a lightning fast kiss on the forehead from Sunset.-

Sunset: Hopefully you realize the mistakes you have made up to this point, and FIX them...-Sunset waves to Shining, and walks off with a feeling of "job well done!"-

Shining Armor: Oh, Cadance...-Shining lowers his head into Cadance's hair, and sobs quietly.- I'm so-OO so-OOrry...

*Commercial*

Announcer: The following contest, is a TRIPLE THREAT match, scheduled for ONE FALL, and...is to determine...who will face Overdrive, to become the Champion of Carnage...at Proving Ground...

-A small intro begins as a raw array of multiple lasers begin to dance on the middle of the stage. As the intro climaxes, they move apart.-

Well it's been such a long time coming, I thought you'd understand...

-A mixer's table with a laptop next to it rises off to the side of the stage, as we see a man with brown spiky hair on the top, which transcends into more spikes as it moves down the side. He has gray "Beats" headphones on around his neck, and has a pretty noticeable fake tan.-

DJ Zema Ion: Ladies and gentleman...you are now, in the mix...with the world's PRETTIEST DJ...ZEMA...IIIIIIIOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN! -He taps a button on his laptop repeatedly, and it makes the basketball horn sound.- YEAH! And it is my honor, to introduce...the soon to be CHAMPION...OF CAARRRNAAAGGGGEEEEEEE...ladies, remember this name-YOU'LL be screaming it later...NEEEONNN...LIIIIIIGGHHTTTTTTSSSSSSSSS! -There is more basketball horn, as the beat to "Showdown" by Pendulum DROPS, and with it, rises Neon Lights, who comes marching out onto the stage like a crack-baby.-

Garble: Awwww YEAH! Hear this song at ALL the parties!

Ahuizotl: Who would invite YOU to a party?

Garble: Neon Light said everybody that's COOL is PARTYING tonight after he wins...that does NOT include YOU, 'Zotl!

Zema: MAKE SOME NOOOOOOOIIIIIISSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! -More basketball sounds as made as Neon Lights brofists Zema. He gets in the ring and begins to run around like a complete idiot, or like The Miz circa 2006.-

_Since they wanna know..._

Announcer: And...his opponent...FIRST...from Loneyville...weighing 157 POOOUNNDSSS...GIIIIZZZZMMMMMMMOOOO!

Garble: LAME. What a nerdy paste-faced loser this guy is...

-Geri, Gizmo's "corner-man", and grand-father leads his worried and panicked grandson to the ring. Geri points to the ring at Neon Lights, and tells Gizmo to "F him up." Gizmo throws a few practice jabs that his grandfather compliments him on. Gizmo gets into the ring, and sits him on a stool in his corner as Geri massages his back.-

Geri: Yur a killah, kid...an absolute KILLAH. Yur gonna rope these dopes and win dah title at dah pay per view. Got it?

Gizmo: Errr...-wheezes- I think so, grandpa...

Geri: It's just like Ali Baba said: "I'm a terrorist, and I hate bees!"

Gizmo: I'm not sure if that's how the saying goes...

Geri: Well, we can't ask Ali himself cuz he blew himself up, so just go with it.

Garble: This show cannot be saved...-buries his face into his hands-

-The lights go out, as we see those same tassel-covered blue boots from last weeks. They are moved in a straight line down the ramp, and then are guided back up to the ramp. When the light goes back on, Rumble already has his glasses off, and is cutting another picture perfect face.-

Garble: I stand corrected...it CAN be saved!

-Rumble begins his trek to the ring, with Flitter and Cloudchaser in toe. Horsepower had to quickly setup the velvet rope, but he got it done just in time to let Rumble and his ladies through. All the while this was happening, Rumble was, of course...taking selfies. He continues to take selfies as he lays on the apron, and as he gets into the ring.-

Crowd: RUMBLE'S GORGEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GORGEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Match 4: Rumble vs Gizmo vs Neon Lights

-The bell rings, and Rumble will not cease with the taking of selfies.-

Ahuizotl: Holy CRAP...-sighs- Doesn't this guy's phone battery EVER die?

Garble: Hey! You can't just RUSH gorgeous! Gorgeous needs to PLAY itself out...

Ahuizotl: -Rolls his eyes- Whatever. Just tell us about our two DEBUTING superstars...I've heard ENOUGH about Rumble for one night.

Garble: -Shrugs- Have it your way. It's not very complex. Neon Lights is one one of the biggest DJ's in Equestria, as well has Vinyl Scratch's main collaborator-

Ahuizotl: And yet he needs his OWN DJ?

Garble: Oh COURSE he does. As soon as he goes through that curtain, he has to focus on WRESTLING. That's what Zema Ion is for! I know NOTHING about him...

Ahuizotl: And what about Gizmo?

Garble: HA! Oh...where do I start? He's a nerd who WANTED to work in computers like his dad, but his grandfather, Geri Gloves, one of the GREATEST boxers in Equestrian history, changed his mind with 100 year old stories of him getting the first cauliflower ear and stupid stuff like that. Long story short...Gizmo isn't meant to be a rough and tough boxer...he's a WIMP.

Ahuizotl: Maybe his granddad's training WILL pay off...we've seen some pretty big upsets here on Lunacy ALREADY...THIS could be one of those.

Garble: I doubt it.

-7 minutes later-

-Gizmo tries to run off the ropes, but DJ Zema Ion grabs his foot. He then gets on the apron, and distracts him.-

Garble: Good! I want Rumble to win, but as long as Gizmo the Geek loses, I'm fine!

-Neon Lights runs at Gizmo, but Gizmo instinctively moves out of the way, causing Neon to clothesline Zema to the floor.-

Ahuizotl: Looks like he should've stayed at the record-scratcher...

-Neon turns around, and runs into a jumping right hand from Gizmo.- The crowd cheers loudly in response.-

Garble: WHOA! Are you kidding me?

Ahuizotl: Gizmo MAY surprise us yet!

-Gizmo cannot believe it. He gets a sudden adrenaline rush, and lowers himself down to the bottom rope by his grandfather.-

Geri: You got dis in dah bag, kid! Now PUNCH that prettyboy's ticket!

Gizmo: -Wheezing uncontrollably- Alright! I can do it! -Gizmo raises himself with the ropes, and holds his fist into the air by the corner as Rumble stirs.-

Garble: No...no...NO!

Ahuizotl: Gizmo is feeling it!

-The crowd is split. Half are chanting "LET'S GO RUMBLE", and the other half is chanting "LET'S GO GIZMO!"-

-Just as Rumble gets up, Gizmo comes running at him.-

Gizmo: THE EYE OF THE TIIIIGGGGEEEER-

-Only to get caught in midair by a spinning heel kick. The crowd that was chanting for Gizmo falls silent, as Rumble's fans go wild.-

Garble: WHAT A COUNTER! CAPITALIZE, RUMBLE!

1...2...3!

Garble: YEEEEEEEEES! THIS SHOW HAS BEEN SAVED!

-As Rumble's music hits, Flitter and Cloudchaser joyfully enter the ring, and hug their man.-

Announcer: Here is your winner...RRRRRRRUUUUUUUMBLLLLLEEEEEE!

Ahuizotl: I TRULY thought Gizmo was going to pull it out...I REALLY did. But Rumble...say what you will about him...he has a LOT going for him. And you have to feel that he will be going into Proving Ground...with more confidence than anybody in the world.

Garble: My maaaaan! He did it! I knew he could! Maybe now Overdrive can stop COMPLAINING, because here tonight, Rumble has PROVED...that he is ready to be champion...and I can't wait to see that GORGEOUS belt, around his GORGEOUS waist...

-Rumble grabs his cell phone, and takes more selfies over a befallen Gizmo's body. Horsepower disposes of the body over the top rope, as Rumble and his valets celebrate up the ramp.-

*Commercial*

-We come back live and see Sparkler using the ropes to stretch before her match.-

Ahuizotl: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, to Monday Night Lunacy. You can see Sparkler...preparing for her match.

Garble: And I've been told her opponent is...well, "under the influence", so to speak...

*GLASS SHATTERS*

Ahuizotl: I see what you did there...

Announcer: And...her opponent...from Loneyviiilleeeee...BEEEEERRRRRRYYYYY...PUUUUUUUNNNNCCCCCHHHHH!

-Berry Punch comes out with a black jacket that states "B.Y.O.B.", or "Bring Your Own Berries." She walks to the ring with a no-nonsense attitude, and shoves Sparkle out of her way as she climbs the top rope, and throws her two middle fingers into the air. She does this with all three other turnbuckles, and launches Sparkler into a corner.-

Ahuizotl: Oh! She's wasting no time!

-Berry Punch stomps at Sparkler into the corner into she falls at a seated position. She then continues to stomp into her chest, as the referee begins to count.-

Ref: 1...2...3...4...-he grabs a hold of Berry Punch- COME ON BREAK THE HOLD!

-Berry turns around, and flips the referee off. The crowd erupts in cheers.-

Garble: HAHA! What a cool chick! The law listens to HER!

-Berry comes off the ropes, and hits a Uol Zseht press on Sparkler, along with a fury of punches.-

Ahuizotl: Berry Punch in ABSOLUTE control in the opening part of this match!

-Berry stalks Sparkler until she gets up, and turns around...-

-Before Berry Punch can hit the Bar Tab, she collapses right in the middle of the ring. The crowd gasps.-

Garble: What the hell...?

Ahuizotl: I...I believe this woman has just passed out...

-Sparkler looks around the ring in confusion. After a moment, she drops to her knees, rolls Berry over, and pins her.-

1...2...3! -The crowd doesn't know what to think as the bell rings, and Sparkler runs to the back.-

Announcer: Here is your winner...Sparkleeeerrr...

Ahuizotl: Uhhhhh...

Garble: I'm with you all the way on that...

Ahuizotl: Perhaps she shouldn't have drank before the match...

Garble: Maybe she'll learn her lesson next time...

Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful...don't hate me cuz I speak true... -Most of the crowd boos, but some cheer.-

Garble: All right! That can only mean one thing!

Ahuizotl: Main event time?

Garble: Well, I was thinking Turf and Silver Spoon time, but that's good, too...

-Turf and Silver Spoon walk out onto the stage with a very fragile Diamond Tiara. She is wearing a neckbrace.-

Garble: Awwwwww...poor baby!

Ahuizotl: Oh please. Why couldn't she just stay home?

Garble: Shut up! This young woman is in the recuperating process! She has the right to support her friends if she wants!

-Diamond Tiara tries to wave at the crowd, but finds it too difficult as she holds her neck in place. Turf and Silver Spoon look very worried with every move she takes. Silver Spoon opens the ropes for her, and Turf leads Diamond Tiara inside the ring carefully.-

-Turf uses her boot to ROLL the still passed out Berry Punch out of the ring. The crowd boos some more.-

Garble: Get out of there, you drunk! Make way for Diamond Tiara!

Ahuizotl: Oh will you stop it?

Garble: She's lucky to even be able to WALK, 'Zotl! After that VISCOUS attack at the hands of Scootaloo last week!

Ahuizotl: It was a sanctioned match! Whatever happened has been documented as a fair affair!

-Silver Spoon grabs a mic for Diamond Tiara, and carefully places it into Diamond's hand.-

-As Diamond Tiara begins to speak, she is interrupted by chants of "HOW'S YOUR NE-ECK?" and five claps after each time.-

Garble: How disrespectful...LET HER TALK!

-Now trending on Twitter: "Flash Sentry", "Rumble", and "#BasketballGoal."

Diamond Tiara: I just wanted all of you to know, that you're not going to bring me down! -Most of the crowd boos.- Oh, no! Not this time! -She begins to tear up.- None of you...*sniffle*...have ANY idea what kind of pain I'm going through right now! It's hard to eat, it's hard to talk...I can't look up too high or I'll sprain my neck...

Crowd: BUUUULL-SHIT! BUUUUULL-SHIT! BUUUUULL-SHIT!

Diamond: QUIIIIEETT! -Diamond screams, but quickly realizes that was a bad idea as she looks down at the canvas.- I don't need any of you...not ONE of you sent me any "Get Well Soon" messages...none of you cared when I got injured, and none of you seem to care now! WELL FINE! -Silver Spoon tries to calm Diamond down. It seems to work.- The doctor doesn't know how long I'll be out...but while I'm gone...the only two people I need! The only two people that CARE! Silver Spoon and Turf...the two girls that are more FLAWLESS than any of YOU neck-beards could ever DREAM of being...are going to AVENGE me...they are going to make you PAY for what you did to me, Scootaloo...and I'm going to enjoy EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE of it! And that starts TONIGHT! Because one of these two beautiful, FIERCE females...are going to PIN you, and gain that title shot at Proving Ground! And the one who DOESN'T...challenges you to a MATCH at Proving Ground! AND THEN YOU'LL SEE...WHY I'M DIAMOND TIARA! AND WHY I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT! -Diamond slams the mic down, perhaps a little too hard, and has to be courted out of the ring, and onto a chair outside of the ring by the announce table.-

Garble: What a PASSIONATE speech by Diamond Tiara! I cannot WAIT for her to get back in the ring, but at least I have comfort in knowing that Scootaloo will get what's coming to her...

Ahuizotl: We will find out who will face Lightning Dust for her championship at Proving Grounds...the 8 women tag team main event...is NEXT!

Garble: Is Cadance going to be able to compete?!

*Commercial*

Ahuizotl: We are BACK, everybody...with the main event of the evening!

Garble: Sunset Shimmer is the LAST one to enter this match...as you can see, Cadance is NOT already in the ring. It appears she will not be able to make it out to the match...

Ahuizotl: And it's all thanks to that premeditated ASSAULT by Sunset Shimmer a while ago, that we will be having a 4 on 3 HANDICAP match here tonight.

Garble: Not only did Sunset take out Cadance, but she made the odds THAT much better for a member of her team to take home the title shot.

Ahuizotl: OR for Lightning Dust to pick her own opponent.

Garble: True. I wonder who she'd pick?

Announcer: Aaand, their opponent...from CANTERLOT...weighing 143 pooouunnddsss...SUNSEEEETTT...SHIMM-

-Sunset's introduction is cut off, as Cadance runs down the ramp and LEAPS onto Sunset's back, knocking her down to the steel floor below. The crowd cheers in surprise, as others boo.-

Garble: Wait a minute! There's Cadance!

Ahuizotl: She is NOT pathetic like Sunset implied, because she's got her attacker REELING!

-Sunset backs up against the barricade by the first set of steel steps. Cadance charges at her, and clotheslines both Sunset and herself into the crowd.-

Ahuizotl: Into the crowd they go! Give them some room!

-Cadance advances on Sunset, but she gets floored with a desperate kick to the gut. Sunset scurries away up the steps, but Cadance quickly gets up and pursuits after her, the fans patting the two female athletes on the shoulder as they make their way up the stairs. They soon make their way to a guardrail. Below that, is a small tech area with water to those who are manning the lights in the arena.-

Garble: This is NOT a good place to be! Sunset should've hurried up and gotten in the ring!

-Sunset tries to ram Cadance into the guardrail, but Cadance blocks it, and bashes the head of Sunset into it herself. Cadance backs up.-

Ahuizotl: We've seen enough crazy stuff tonight, Cadance! We don't need to see anyMOOOOOORRREEEEE! -Cadance spears Sunset, breaking the guardrail and sending them both through the wooden table that was holding bottles of water below.-

Garble: IT NEVER ENDS! THE MOMENTS NEVER END HERE ON LUNACY!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Garble: That's the SECOND TIME the fans have chanted that tonight...and ONCE AGAIN...it's WORTHY! WHAT THE HELL ARE THE ATHLETES HERE ON LUNACY NOT UP FOR PUTTING THEMSELVES THROUGH?! WHAT, DAMMIT I ASK YOU!

Ahuizotl: THAT is what makes the superstars of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation the most PHYSICAL and ENTERTAINING athletes on the face of this earth!

Garble: Now neither Cadance OR Sunset Shimmer are going to be able to complete! This has all of a sudden, turned into a SIX WOMEN TAG!

Main Event: Turf, Silver Spoon and Lightning Dust vs Scootaloo, Rarity, and Twilight Sparkle

-25 minutes later-

-Scootaloo is standing on the top rope. She is waiting for the other legal women, Lightning Dust, to get up. The referee is occupied checking on Silver Spoon, who was just pulled off of the apron and SLAMMED right into the barricade by Rarity. All the other participants are scattered around the ring.-

Ahuizotl: Look out, Scootaloo!

-Scootaloo is clobbered in the shoulder by a steel chair shot from Diamond Tiara, who had just gotten up from her seat, and onto the apron to use that same seat. The crowd's boos are DEAFENING as Scootaloo falls to the canvas.-

Ahuizotl: OH COME ON! I THOUGHT SHE WAS INJURED!

Garble: It doesn't take THAT MUCH willpower to deliver some retribution to your most hated enemy...

Ahuizotl: Oh that's such CRAP! Scootaloo was on her way to Proving Ground right there!

Garble: You don't know that...and hey! Now there's still a chance either Silver Spoon or Turf can redeem their gal-pal in a match against Scootaloo! It's all going to work out in the end!

-By the time the referee has turned around, Diamond Tiara is already sitting where she was before, like nothing ever happened. Twilight quickly gets on the apron, reaches down, and tags Scootaloo's shoulder. She tries to get in the ring and finish off Lightning Dust, but Turf has grabbed a hold of her foot. As Twilight tries to kick at her, Silver Spoon has gotten back into the ring, kicked Twilight in the gut, and has moved her back into the ring in position for a suplex. Turf gets into the ring to make that a DOUBLE suplex, but Rarity runs up at the last second to deliver a DOUBLE neckbreaker to turf and Silver Spoon!-

Ahuizotl: Rarity saves her from Twilight from imminent doom! What an AMAZING move!

-When Rarity turns around, she is face to face with Lightning Dust.-

*FULMINOLOGY!* -Most of the crowd cheers.-

Garble: Aww yeah! Now Lightning Dust is all alone to pick the bones of a dazes Twiligh-

-Diamond Tiara gets back up on the apron, and begins to yell at Lightning Dust.-

Diamond: NO! IF YOU WIN, YOU'LL JUST PICK SOMEBODY EASY TO BEAT! LET TURF OR SILVER SPOON GET THE PIN!

Lightning Dust: Go text your boyfriend, BITCH! I am the CHAMPION, and I'll pick WHOEVER I want! Those two hoes had their chance to win, and they BLEW i-

-Twilight comes up from behind Lightning Dust, and rolls her up.-

1...2...-Lightning Dust pushes Twilight off of her, causing Twilight to collide with Diamond Tiara, who falls off of the apron and hits her neck against the barricade.-

Garble: Goddammit WHY?! She was just looking out for her homegirls!

Ahuizotl: The match isn't over yet!

-Twilight seems a bit disturbed by what just happened, which gives Lightning Dust the perfect opening to go for her finisher, Astraphobia. Twilight lands on her feet.-

*TAKE A NOTE!*

Ahuizotl: THERE IT IS! COVER!

1...2...3! -The bell rings, and most of the crowd boos.-

Garble: COOOMMMMEEEEE OOOOOOONNNNNNNNN! -Garble begins bashing the table cover in frustration.- COME ON!

Spike: Here is your winner, and the NUMBER ONE CONTENDDDDEERR...TWWWIILLIIIGGHHTTT...SPPPAARRKLLLEEEEE! -The crowd boos some more.-

Ahuizotl: What an INCREDIBLE ending sequence! Look on the bright side, boy, at least we'll have a competitive championship match at Proving Grounds!

Garble: -Sighs- I just wanted Diamond Tiara to be happy...but you're right. If that ending is ANY indication, Lightning Dust's first challenger may be the toughest she'll ever have to face, and I can't WAIT to see how THAT battle's going to turn out!

Ahuizotl: Until next week...GOODBYE, folks! I'm Ahuizotl...

Garble: And I'm Garble...

-The show ends with Spike raising Twilight's hand high in the air. Silver Spoon and Turf are tending to Diamond Tiara outside the ring. Twilight lays Lightning Dust's title over her prone belly.-

Crowd: WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Ahuizotl: UUUUUGGGGGGHHHH YOU COULDN'T CUT OFF SOON ENOUGH?!

*End of Show.*

Quick Results:

Colgate defeated Twist  
Flash Sentry defeated Snails  
Honeycomb defeated Midnight Strike  
Rumble defeated Neon Lights and Gizmo  
Sparkler defeated Berry Punch  
Twilight Sparkle, Scootaloo, and Rarity defeated Turf, Silver Spoon, and Lightning Dust


	19. Sublime - 1-12-14

-Sublime's theme begins to play as a mixture of blue and green fireworks begin shooting off on stage, ending with a final explosion of pyrotechnics. The crowd goes wild, ready for a week greater than the last-  
-Apple Bloom is already in the ring, with an angry look on her face and a mic in hand-  
Dr. Whooves: Welcome back for another edition of Sublime where this week looks to be even better than the last. In addition to another round of tournament matches tonight will also contain a triple threat tag team match between the Ghost Girls, Aloe and Louts, and Octavia and Vinyl Scratch to determine who will face Beauty Shot for the Sublime tag team championship at Proving Grounds.  
Apple Bloom: Last week, ah was forced to fight in a tournament match against another member of the Apple Dynasty, Babs Seed. Now ah didn't take it too seriously. After all, what would it matter who won as long as it was one from our stable right? But no, Babs Seed decided to be a sore loser and attack one of her own family all over a stupid tournament. It was the lowest of low moves and ah-  
*REDACTED Theme*  
-The crowd boos as Babs Seed enters stage-  
Discord: Oh excellent, here comes Babs Seed. Is it match time already?  
Babs Seed: Ya wanna know somethin' Apple Bloom? Nobody gives a damn. I don't need to justify myself to you. I needed to make a statement to show everyone that I'm the real deal. I'm sorry ya got in the way, but it just sucks to be you.  
-Crowd starts chanting "WE WANT DARING" *CLAP CLAP CLAP* -  
Babs Seed: Ya want Daring? Too freakin bad! I hope she gets bit by a venomous snake or lost forever in the jungle!  
-Near unanimous booing-  
Apple Bloom: Oh you made a statement alright. And that there statement has gotten ya kicked out of the Apple Dynasty. We all voted before the show and decided we can't have traitors like yaself in our ranks. That's not enough for me though, I want revenge. I want a match against you, tonight.  
Babs Seed: Oh no, I got kicked out of the Apple Dynasty! How terrible! I'm just gonna give up Apple Bloom. Not. Ya think I really care? Tag teams are a nice side-show, but all together this is an independent sport. Friends are just tools and family is dead weight dat will drag ya down in the end. I don't need any of dat, I can make it on my own and I'll prove it. I'll face ya tonight, but it's not gonna be just any regular old match. I want this to be a no disqualification match! You ruined my chances in the World Fighter's Champion tournament, now I'm gonna ruin yours.  
Apple Bloom: Yer on. And after tonight you'll learn what happens when ya mess with the Apple Dynasty!  
-Crowd Cheers-  
Dr. Whooves: What a main event, such bad blood between relatives.  
Discord: Inspiring isn't it?  
*Commercial*  
*REDACTED Theme*  
Announcer: Approaching the ring, from Loneyville,accompanied by Lotus Blossom, standing five foot, five inches tall and weighing 128 pounds, Aloe!  
Dr. Whooves: Last week's tournament match ended up horribly for Lotus Blossom, time to see if her partner Aloe has better luck.  
Discord: Probably not. It's graveyard for pretty nails inside that ring.  
*REDACTED Theme*  
Announcer: And her opponent, from Loneyville, weighing 140 pounds and standing at six foot, six inches tall, Fluttershy!  
-Fluttershy walks silent down the ramp with a few of her animals, giving the crowd a few awkward smiles and careful waves-  
Dr. Whooves: She brought her pets to the ring? What kind of insanity is this?  
Discord: Any kind is a good kind.  
Dr. Whooves: Ugh, Poor woman though, she looks like she couldn't hurt a fly.  
Discord: She looks like a fly could hurt her.  
Dr. Whooves: That's absurd.  
Discord: I've seen weirder things happen.  
Dr. Whooves: Like what?  
Discord: You getting this job! AHAHAHAHA!  
Dr. Whooves: I'm BLEEDING on the inside.  
Match 1: Tournament Match, Aloe vs. Fluttershy  
-3 minutes later, Fluttershy is getting dominated due to a lack of fighting back, Aloe clotheslines her out of the ring, Angel hops over to her-  
Fluttershy: What's that Angel? You say I'll never get anywhere if I don't fight back?  
*Pause*  
Fluttershy: Well...I don't know...it would be kinda mean to do that.  
*Pause*  
Fluttershy: OK...OK...I'll try.  
Dr. Whooves: Is she actually talking to that rabbit? This woman has taken too many blows to the head, somebody call the medics out.  
Discord: Oh please, she seems perfectly sane to me.  
-Fluttershy re-enters the ring, Aloe charges her again but this time Fluttershy counters and takes her to the ground, locking in a *redacted submission move*-  
Fluttershy: Please just tap, I don't want to really hurt you.  
-After about a minute Aloe taps out-  
Announcer: Here is your winner, Fluttershy!  
Dr. Whooves: Fluttershy put on an impressive display of skill once she actually started fighting.  
Discord: Maybe it was all part of some devious plan.  
-Fluttershy exits the arena with her animals in tow-  
*Commercial*  
*Now trending on Twitter: #NoDQ #Talkingtoanimals #DaringRevolution*  
*REDACTED theme*  
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, making his way to the ring, weighing in at 275 pounds and standing six foot, eight inches tall, from Loneyville, Big MacIntosh!  
Dr. Whooves: Good lord, this man is like a giant...  
Discord: Hmm, I wonder what he gets his name from.  
Dr. Whooves: And those muscles are totally fake.  
Discord: Pfft, you only say that because all Brits are pansies. No guys with muscle where you come from.  
Dr. Whooves: You are the most racist bastard I've had the displeasure of knowing.  
Discord: I try.  
*REDACTED theme*  
Announcer: And his opponent,accompanied to the ring by Spitfire, from Cloudsdale, weighing at 220 pounds and standing six foot, one inch tall. Soarin!  
Dr. Whooves: It looks like we have a David versus Goliath match on our hands.  
Match 2: Big MacIntosh vs. Soarin  
*7 Minutes later*  
-Big MacIntosh hits a suplex on Soarin, Soarin gets to his feet and barely manages to duck under an incoming clothesline, he then goes to throw a punch but McIntosh catches his fist and Irish Whips him out of the ring-  
-Soarin falls to the concrete next to Spitfire, he slowly gets to his feet and smiles at her-  
Soarin: Hey baby, enjoying the show?  
Spitfire: -Facepalms* Ugh, Soarin, would you focus on the match?  
Soarin: Don't worry, I totally got th-  
-Big MacIntosh, who climbed out of the ring while Soarin was distracted, grabs him from behind and throws him over the steel steps-  
Dr. Whooves: Ouch, that's what ya get for paying attention to your girlfriend instead of the match.  
Discord: Can you really blame him? A woman like Spitfire demands attention, even by just standing there.  
-Big MacIntosh rolls Soarin back into the ring and hits *REDACTED* on him, followed up by a pin-  
*1...2...3!*  
Announcer: Here's your winner, Big MacIntosh!  
Discord: Well, it looks like it was David who got an ass-kicking this time.  
*Backstage*  
-Apple Bloom is in the locker rooming preparing for her later match when Commander Hurricane and her Squire enter the room-  
Apple Bloom: Where's yer guards?  
Commander Hurricane: That's classified, and it's not why I'm here. I've been informed that I am to face you next week in the second round of this gladiator tournament, I've come to accept your surrender.  
-Apple Bloom busts out laughing-  
Commander Hurricane: How dare you laugh at me!? What is so funny?!  
Apple Bloom: Why would ah surrender to you? Ya'll don't scare me. Ya couldn't beat a sack of flour without cheatin'.  
Commander Hurricane: Of all the insulting...! Take that back you Plebeian!  
Apple Bloom: Naw, and what's a Plebeian?  
-Commander Hurricane growls and whispers something to her Squire-  
Squire: Yes, my lady, of course. I'll arrange it.  
-Commander Hurricane and Squire exit the room, leaving Apple Bloom with a confused look on her face-  
Dr. Whooves: Oh dear, what could Commander Hurricane be planning?  
Discord: ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.  
*Commercial*  
-Braeburn and Happy Trails are both in a room backstage,sitting around a fancy highly decorated table with various high class items on it, Braeburn is dressed up like Fancy Pants while Happy Trails is wearing a cheap rip-off of Gustave Le Grand's mustache-  
Happy Trails: *Fake french accent* HURR HURR HURR, we are shoe-ins for the Combos of Carnage titles! Those ruffians will tremble in fear of my over-sized mustache!  
Braeburn: *Mimicking Fancy Pants' voice* We just have to make sure not to get any of their dirt all over our skin and our fifty million dollar clothing!  
Happy Trails: Oh merde! That would be terrible! I would have to take ze shower! JUST KIDDING, We french do not shower! Hurr Hurr.  
Braeburn: Would you like a cup of tea my good man?  
Happy Trails: Why yes, that would go excellent with my croissants!  
Braeburn: After we destroy those pathetic cowboys we should invite all our fellow elites for a tea and coffee!  
-Happy Trails responds with more stereotypical french laughing and mustache twirling-  
Dr. Whooves: Braeburn and Happy Trails playing some mind games with EGO.  
Discord: How juvenile.  
Dr. Whooves: If anyone deserves it, it's EGO.  
Discord: I wasn't complaining. I love juvenile antics!  
*REDACTED Theme*  
Announcer: The following tag team match is a part of the World Fighter's Championship tournament, both members of the winning team will move on to the next round. Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 301 pounds, The team of Applejack and Sweet Tooth!  
*REDACTED Theme*  
Announcer: And their opponents, weighing a combined 280 pounds, the Ghost Girls!  
Match 3:Tournament Match, Ghost Girls vs. Applejack and Sweet Tooth  
*11 minutes later*  
-The Ghost girls are preparing to do a tag team move on Applejack, but she knocks Inkie down to the floor with an elbow and hits *REDACTED on Blinkie-  
1...2...3!  
Announcer: And here are you winners, and the ones advancing to the next stage of the tournament, the team of Applejack and Sweet Tooth!  
*Commercial*  
-Rainbow Dash is backstage walking towards her next match when she comes face to face with Trixie, the two stand silent for a moment glaring at each other-  
Rainbow Dash: If you even raise that mic I'll put your face to the wall.  
Trixie: Oh please, if Trixie meant to utterly destroy you, -Cocky smile- Like she did last week, she would of done so by now.  
-Rainbow Dash continues towards the arena, keeping a sharp eye on Trixie the whole while-  
Discord: Awww, and I was hoping somebody was going to get their face busted open.  
*You see me soaring through the sky,I see you below as you walk on by*  
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, on her way to the ring, from Clouds dale, weighing 125 pounds, standing five foot, six inches tall. Rainbow Dash!  
-Rainbow Dash sprints down towards the ring, high-fiving a couple fans along the way and receiving lots of cheers-  
*REDACTED Theme*  
Announcer: And her opponent, from Loneyville, weighing in at 153 pounds, standing six foot, seven inches tall, Cheerilee!  
-Cheerilee walks down the ramp receiving mostly cheers, one member of the crowd holds up a sign saying, "That's my teacher!" however konyy2k is present there as well with his, "#DaringRevolution" sign-  
Match 4:Tournament Match, Rainbow Dash vs. Cheerilee  
-14 minutes later-  
-Rainbow Dash jumps off the turnbuckle and hits Cheerilee with a flying kick-  
Dr. Whooves: Rainbow Dash is in total control of this match, how on earth do you counter speed like that?  
-After a few more high flying moves Rainbow Dash sets up for the Sonic Raindrop and hits it, immediately going for a pin-fall afterwards-  
*1...2...3*  
Announcer: Here's your winner, Rainbow Dash!  
-The crowd cheers loudly while Rainbow Dash pics up a mic-  
Rainbow Dash: You see this Trixie? This is going to be you if and when we face off. I'll defeat you plus anybody else, win the World Fighter's Championship, and that'll make both you and Lightning Dust shut up. Which is a win/win for me.  
-Rainbow Dash walks away with more cheers behind her-  
*Focus switches to the titan-tron, once again featuring Daring Do with the Amazon jungle behind her*  
Daring Do: Hello again Sublime, I've got good news and bad news. Good news, I think I might of found a way out. Bad news...-A spear flies past Daring Do's head and sticks into a tree behind her- Some of the natives want to make me a meal... I'll get back as soon as I can and I'll try not to bring my friends with me! -Daring Do runs out of camera view, followed by several natives armed with spears, one of them stops and stares at the camera, poking it a few times before moving on-  
*Commercial*  
Announcer: The following is a triple threat tag team match, and will determine the number one contenders for the Sublime Tag Team Championship.  
*REDACTED Theme*  
Announcer: Approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 258 pounds, the team of Aloe and Lotus Blossom.  
*REDACTED Theme*  
Announcer: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 280 pounds, the Ghost Girls!  
*Classical/Dubstep remix music*  
Announcer: And now approaching the ring, weighing a combined 290 pounds, the team of Octavia and Vinyl Scratch!  
Match 5: Sublime Tag Team Championship Number One Contenders match, Triple Threat tag team, Octavia and Vinyl Scratch vs. Ghost Girls vs. Aloe and Lotus Blossom  
-As the match begins Beauty Shot takes seats at the commentary table-  
Dr. Whooves: Ah, we're being joined by the Sublime Tag Team Champions. Here to scout out the competition?  
Photo Finish: Of course, although it's not like it really matters. None of these teams are high enough caliber to beat us.  
Pretty Vision: Yeah!  
Photo Finish: Silence!  
Pretty Vision: Sorry...  
*10 minutes later*  
-Photo Finish winces as Octavia and Vinyl Scratch start to dominate the match-  
Discord: Something wrong?  
Photo Finish: No, we beat them easily last week. We can do it again.  
Dr. Whooves: By cheating...  
Photo Finish: It was not cheating! It was being resourceful. Our skill far outclasses theirs.  
Dr. Whooves: Then why do you look worried?  
Photo Finish: I don't like wasting time, the title match will be faster if the weakest team wins.  
-About a minute later Photo Finish stands up and orders Pretty Vision to follow her-  
Pretty Vision: But we aren't in this match...  
Photo Finish: We are now.  
Pretty Vision: Ok, if you say so.  
-Both Ghost Girls and Lotus Blossom are out of the ring, leaving Aloe alone inside, Vinyl Scratch and Octavia are about to do a tag team finisher when Pretty Vision hits Octavia with her title belt, Vinyl Scratch turns and hits *REDACTED* on Pretty Vision only to be hit by a *REDACTED* from Photo Finish-  
Discord: Now that's what I call ring clearing.  
Dr. Whooves: Only Photo Finish is on her feet...this won't be good.  
-Photo Finish drags Aloe on top of Vinyl Scratch and yells at the ref to count the pin-  
*1...2...3!*  
-Crowd boos-  
Announcer: Here are your winners, and the number one contenders for the Sublime Tag Team Championship, Aloe and Lotus Blossom!  
Dr. Whooves: And once again Octavia and Vinyl Scratch are screwed over by Beauty Shot.  
Discord: It's their fault for being so easy to screw over.  
Dr. Whooves: After this commercial will be back with our main event, Apple Bloom versus Babs Seed in a no-disqualification match.  
*Commercial*  
*Trending on Twitter: #WeWantDaring #Beauty Shot #Frenchdontshower*  
Announcer: The following main event is a no-disqualification match, scheduled for one fall!  
*REDACTED Theme*  
Announcer: Entering the ring,standing at five foot, five inches tall, weighing in at 138 pounds, from Manhattan, Babs Seed!  
*REDACTED Theme*  
Announcer: And her opponent, from Loneyville, standing at five foot, seven inches tall, weighing in at 136 pounds, Apple Bloom!  
-Babs Seed and Apple Bloom glare at each other from across the ring-  
Dr. Whooves: This is going to be big folks, two relatives turned against each other in a no disqualification match, so many things could happen, and so much could go wrong.  
Discord: So much could go right you mean.  
Main Event: No Disqualification Match, Apple Bloom vs. Babs Seed  
-The bell rings, Apple Bloom and Babs Seed go straight to brawling-  
*8 minutes later*  
-Apple Bloom starts tearing down the commentary table-  
Dr. Whooves: Oh come on now, that's high dollar equipment!  
-Discord grabs his cup-  
Discord: Saved the chocolate milk, I'm good.  
-Apple Bloom rolls Babs Seed onto the announce table, re-enters the ring and climbs the turnbuckle, she then dives down and puts herself and Babs Seed through the table-  
Dr. Whooves: Amazing move by Apple Bloom! But it seems to have taken both competitors out!  
-Apple Bloom slowly gets to her feet and starts dragging Babs Seed towards the ring-  
Dr. Whooves: Looks like Babs Seed is out of this one.  
-Apple Bloom rolls Babs Seed into the ring and starts to slowly climb back in, but Babs Seed suddenly takes to her feet and and stuns Apple Bloom with a punch and then hits a DDT on her before she can react-  
Discord: Hah, she was just playing dead.  
Dr. Whooves: Looks more like a last-ditch effort to me.  
-Babs Seed exits the ring and throws a steel chair in the ring, while carrying another in with her, she then proceeds to hit Apple Bloom over the head with it just as she's getting up-  
Dr. Whooves: Oh God...whatever Babs Seed has in mind...it's not good.  
-Babs Seed slides one chair under Apple Bloom's head, and then slams the other one down on top of her-  
Discord: The PAIN! I love it!  
Dr. Whooves: Are you crazy?! She could have a head injury from that!  
-Babs Seed goes for a pin-  
*1...2...-KICK-OUT!-*  
Dr. Whooves: And somehow Apple Bloom just barely manages to kick out!  
-Babs Seed picks Apple Bloom up for her finisher but Apple Bloom counters and hits *REDACTED*-  
Dr. Whooves: Apple Bloom out of nowhere! This could be it!  
-Commander Hurricane runs down to the ring before Apple Bloom can pin, Apple Bloom tries to attack her but Commander Hurricane blocks with a steel bracer on her lower arm, Apple Bloom reels in pain before Commander Hurricane knocks her out with a steel glove-  
-Loud boos fill the arena-  
-Babs Seed takes the opportunity and pins Apple Bloom-  
*1...2...3*  
Announcer: And here's your winner, Babs Seed!  
Dr. Whooves: Bloody hell! I can't believe this!  
Commander Hurricane: -Looking down in Apple Bloom- That'll teach you to respect your betters. -Looks up at Babs Seed- You owe me a debt now, and I always collect.  
Discord: No Sweetie Belle to save Apple Bloom this time it seems.  
Dr. Whooves: We just got a report that Sweetie Belle was attacked backstage shortly before Commander Hurricane appeared out here...hmm...no obvious connection there.  
Discord: Could of been anyone.  
Dr. Whooves: Well folks, it looks like there's not time for anymore chaos tonight. We'll see you next week on Sublime!  
-The show ends as medics enter the ring to check on Apple Bloom-  
Match Results-  
Match 1: Aloe vs. Fluttershy Fluttershy Won  
Match 2: Big MacIntosh vs. Soarin Big MacIntosh Won  
Match 3: Ghost Girls vs. Applejack and Sweet Tooth Applejack and Sweet Tooth Won  
Match 4: Rainbow Dash vs. Cheerilee Rainbow Dash Won  
Match 5: Sublime Tag Team Championship number one contender's match. Ghost Girls vs. Octavia and Vinyl Scratch vs. Aloe and Lotus Blossom Aloe and Lotus Blossom won  
Main Event: No DQ Match, Babs Seed vs. Apple Bloom Babs Seed won  
Tournament Status:  
-Aloe, Inkie Pie, Blinkie Pie, and Cheerilee eliminated  
-Commander Hurricane, Apple Bloom, Pinkie Pie, Trixie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Sweet Tooth moving to round 2


	20. Power 30 - Week 2

1. Scootaloo Position Change: +2 Last Week:3  
2. Lightning Dust Position Change: -1 Last Week:1  
3. Trixie Position Change: -1 Last Week:2  
4. Photo Finish Position Change: +1 Last Week:5  
5. Pretty Vision Position Change: +1 Last Week:6  
6. Pinkie Pie Position Change: -2 Last Week:4  
7. Commander Hurricane Position Change:+5 Last Week:12  
8. Fancy Pants Position Change: -1 Last Week:7  
9. Gustave Le Grand Position Change:-1 Last Week:8  
10. Braeburn Position Change: -1 Last Week:9  
11. Happy Trails Position Change:-1 Last Week:10  
12. Sunset Shimmer Position Change:-1 Last Week:11  
13. Babs Seed Position Change:+4 Last Week:17  
14 Overdrive Position Change:-1 Last Week:13  
15. Apple Bloom Position Change:-1 Last Week:14  
16. Twist Position Change:-1 Last Week:15  
17. Diamond Tiara Position Change:-1 Last Week:16  
18. Flash Sentry Position Change:+3 Last Week:21  
19. Shining Armor Position Change:+1 Last Week:20  
20. Turf Position Change:-2 Last Week:18  
21. Spitfire Position Change:-2 Last Week:19  
22. Twilight Sparkle Position Change:N/A Last Week: N/A  
23. Rarity Position Change:N/A Last Week: N/A  
24. Cadance Position Change:+2 Last Week:26  
25. Lotus Blossom Position Change:+5 Last Week:30  
26. Aloe Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A  
27. Rumble Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A  
28. Rainbow Dash Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A  
29. Colgate Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A  
30. Fluttershy Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A

Entering the Power 30: Twilight Sparkle (Number One Contender for Women's Eternal Championship), Rarity (Main Event Victory), Aloe (1/2 Number One Contenders for Sublime Tag Team Championship), Rumble (Contender for Champion of Carnage), Rainbow Dash (World Fighters Championship Tournament Victory), Colgate (Victory), Fluttershy (World Fighters Championship Tournament Victory)  
Leaving the Power 30: Midnight Strike (Repeat Losses), Hoity Toity (Loss plus lack of appearance), Prince Blueblood (Loss plus lack of appearance), Silver Spoon (Main Event Loss), Octavia (Repeat Losses), Vinyl Scratch (Repeat Losses), Horsepower (Loss plus lack of match)


	21. Backstage Fallout - Episode 2

-Anon sees Midnight Strike sitting on a black chest. She is looking down at the ground with a slumped posture. He walks up to her.-

Anon: Uh...Midnight?

-Midnight doesn't look up.-

Anon: ...Another tough loss tonight. For the second week in a row, one of the members of the Oddities have cost you a match. Your thoughts?

-After many more moments of ignoring, Midnight finally looks up, perplexed. She gets off of the crate.-

Midnight: ...My thoughts? ...I'm angry. Did you not get the message?

Anon: Well, yes...I can imagine.

Midnight: CAN you, though? Can you REALLY?

Anon: Well, maybe not in the context of your situation, but-

Midnight: Exactly, you CAN'T. You don't know what I'm going through...to have the FIRST MATCH in this company's history, and lose by a glob of JAM. I almost WON the Eternal Women's Championship, but THAT got overshadowed by my LOSS to Twist...I came here tonight, looking to start clean...and I lose AGAIN. This time, to a BALLOON...

Anon: -Tries to say this as nicely as he can- Well, if you're so angry with the Oddities...why don't you just...leave the group?

Midnight: -Tilts her head and stares at Anon- ...Again, this is why you cannot POSSIBLY feel how I am feeling...I'm not ANGRY with the Oddities...I'm angry with MYSELF.

Anon: Yourself?

Midnight: ...Yes. I'm the one that's supposed the keep a level-head. The boys have NEVER seen this side of me before...it's not THEIR fault...they're HAPPY for me, and I may not LOOK like it...but I'm happy that they're here with me.

Anon: Might I ask why you're even IN the Oddities? You don't really seem to fit in.

Midnight: Oddly, no pun intended...I don't KNOW.

Anon: Well...what did you do before you came to the EWF?

Midnight: I worked at the circus. I was in the "entertainment" sector. I breathed fire. Does that sound like an odd occupation?

Anon: No! It sounds pretty exciting.

Midnight: Well, when my boss hired me, he said my talent WAS odd. But, if you can make money off it, you don't really listen to stuff like that.

Anon: -Nods- True...how did you meet the other Oddities, then?

Midnight: We were a TRAVELING circus. We went to all of these different businesses, doing different endeavors, trying to gain rep. for the circus. I got to work with Clip Clop because, apparently, kids like to see both fire-breathers AND clowns at their birthdays. I would've never guesses. We went to Dance Fever's club, and, since it was more of a FAMILY club, Dance needed more FAMILY entertainment. My talent fit that mold, and he paid me quite a bit each time I went there. Bill used me for demonstrations with his students, like burning salt-water, and Hugh...well...-blushes-...we're high-school sweethearts. Yeah, no weird connection there.

Anon: Very cool...and how did you all come together?

Midnight: It was actually on one of my days off. Hugh decided to take me to Dance's club. Neither of us can dance for crap, but it's fun to make a fool of yourself sometimes. It just so happened Clip and Bill were there, too. We figured out we all had worked with each other at some point or another. Clowns were common at Dance's club, too, Bill used Clip for his psychology course on why some people consider clowns scary, Bill's a pretty good singer, and would sing karaoke at Dance's club. I had become friends with all of them at some point, and they were friends with each other at some point, too. Except Hugh...this was the first time he has met any of them. It's just one of those "faith" things. We all talked that night, and got pretty wasted. We danced, we laughed, and we created memories, and we just started hanging out soon.

Anon: Wow...I never knew ANY of that!

Midnight: I don't consider ANY of us "odd." People find clowns "odd" simply because they're scary. People find professors "odd" just because they like to study. People find Dance Fever "odd" because he still listens to disco and wears tight pants. People find Hugh "odd" because he likes jelly more than the average person. I don't find any of the Oddities "odd"...people just don't know how to respond to different members of society, so they dub them "odd."

Anon: So...why don't you quit?

Midnight: Because the boys are enjoying themselves. I may not look like it, but I'm happy they're enjoying themselves. Everyone thinks I'm such an emotionless bitch because I just walk to the ring with a grump on my face. Truth is, I'm not HERE to have fun. I'm here to break skulls, like the commentators have stated oh so many times...because it's TRUE. Which is why you'll NEVER see me clapping to the beat of our theme music as I walk to the ring...because that's not me. I'm no-nonsense, and I guess that's why people think I'm the "odd" one out of the Oddities. That's an oxymoron. I have ALL the reason to stay in the Oddities, if not just to support the boys, because they've been supporting me. Yeah, I've lost, and I've gotten mad, but nobody's laughing at me when I lose. I don't think they even feel sorry for me, because they're not blind, they saw me in the battle royal last week. They KNOW what I can do. No offense to Honeycomb, but I was DESTROYING her in that ring tonight. One little accident occurred, and she one. I'm not mad at her, because she took advantage, and I'm not mad at Clip Clop...I'm mad at myself, because I let the sting of losing on national television in a way like that burn me so, and the boys don't deserve that, and I have to keep my composure, because I have goals in this business, and all the losses in the world won't keep me from accomplishing that.

Anon: What's next, then? How can you be so sure one of these accidents won't occur next week?

Midnight: I won't be wrestling next week. I talked to General Manager Luna, and she agreed to give two of the boys a tag team match. Don't know which two members of the Oddities that'll be, or even who they'll be facing, but it will give me a chance to just sit back and make sure mistakes like that don't cost me my next match. If the boys succumb to one of these mistakes, then we'll just have to have a talk about it. I just can't wait for them to show the crowd what THEY can do, because the boys CAN wrestle...trust me. They know when it's time to get serious, and in the ring...is that time.

Anon: Well, Midnight...thank you for opening up so much. Nobody has had the chance to interview you yet.

Midnight: Like I said, I'm not here to put my life on display, but I guess it's too late now. I'm an entertainer, so I guess I have to get used to having my life exploited...-begins to walk off- even when I don't want it to be...

*Later*

-Anon sees Rumble by the makeup table. Flitter and Cloudchaser are behind him, applying makeup, as they were last week. He begins to approach, but is stopped by Horsepower.-

Horsepower: What's with you, dude? Shouldn't you know by now that you're not on the li-

-Horsepower is interrupted by Rumble appearing at his side-

Rumble: Calm down there, big-man...don't wanna rip your suit. -Rumble pats him on the shoulder- The public just want to bask in my glorious rays of gorgeousness while they can. We shouldn't deny them that opportunity...-gestures to Anon- Walk with me, doll, walk with me...-they stop at the makeup table- -Continues to take selfies- Make it quick, the battery's going to die soon.

Anon: Well, Rumble, I just wanted to get your opinion on your OFFICIAL opponent at Proving Grounds, Overdrive. What's your strategy going into the match after Overdrive showed you up by clotheslin-

Rumble: Ahh shhh shhh shhh shhhhhh...no need to finish that question as the way you delivered it has revolted me enough already. -Looks at the camera for the first time- I present you...with the art of...MULTI-TASKING. I'm going to answer this question, and take a picture of my moving mouth...frame by frame. Ready?

Anon: Didn't you say the bat-

Rumble: O-ver-dri-ve i-s-a-fil-thy-a-nd-low-ly-cha-lle-n-ge-r. Th-e-fa-c-t-th-a-t-h-e-i-s-re-pr-es-en-t-in-g-th-e-ma-le-'-s-di-vi-si-o-n-a-t-Pr-o-vi-n-g-Gr-o-un-d-s-i-s-al-l-th-e-pr-oo-f-yo-u-ne-e-d-th-a-t-I-a-m-th-e-o-nl-y-th-i-ng-wo-r-th-wa-t-ch-i-ng-i-n-th-at-di-vi-s-io-n. I-f-th-e-tw-o-mi-s-fi-t-s-I-be-a-t-to-n-i-g-ht-i-s-th-e-be-s-t-th-e-y-co-ul-d-fi-n-d-f-or-m-e,-I-a-m-po-s-i-ti-v-e-th-a-t-de-fe-a-ti-n-g-O-v-er-dr-i-ve-w-i-ll-n-ot-b-e-m-u-c-h-ha-r-de-r. -Stops taking selfies with a huge grin- Now...let's play the slide-show!

*7 hours later because Rumble spent 20 minutes admiring himself over EACH PICTURE*

Rumble: Truly my best facial work to date...-kisses the air-

Anon: I thought you said the battery was about to die...

Rumble: Ho-OH, SILLY me! That must've just been my good lucks draining away it's cell power!

*What seems like hours later*

-Anon finds an angry Lightning Dust walking through the hall with her cake in hand, and championship around her waste. He walks up to her.-

Anon: Lightning Dust! Can I get a word with you?

-Lightning Dust sets her cake down, and crosses her arms-

Dust: Here to praise me on my STIMULATING first night as champion? -Grins- Go ahead...I won't stop you. I'll let you go all night!

Anon: I actually wanted to get your thoughts on your LOSS tonight...to Twilight Sparkle...

Dust: -Lowers her eyes- Of COURSE you do...you reporters are ALL the same...always trying to PRY answers out of some crestfallen individual over their most recent hardships. -Chuckles- Ya know...it's funny, really...for what seemed like an ETERNITY tonight, Twilight Sparkle cited me as what would appear as the biggest cheater in the world. She whined all night about how "I took the easy way out"...yet...when it came right down to it...SHE took away what could have been a MONUMENTAL moment for someone she had earlier PRAISED...Scootaloo. I saw what happened...Scootaloo got attacked by Diamond Tiara with a chair. Now, Scootaloo went through even WORSE last week. Not once, but TWICE she was assaulted by Diamond Tiara and her air-headed buffoons, and she nearly won THIS title. -Points at her waist, and rubs her title.- Yet, ONE week later, after all of this praise and what I consider SHOE-HORNING...Twilight tags herself into the match. Now, Scootaloo's gotten back up from worse, as I said...who is to say she couldn't have gotten right back up after that attack? Apparently, Twilight says so. Does she not BELIEVE in Scootaloo as much as she once claimed? Twilight's LUCKY to be facing me, and she'll be LUCKY to be the first victim during my soon to be ILLUSTRIOUS championship reign. But hey, at least I have my cake! -Grins- You want a pie- -Lightning Dust looks down, and notices her championship cake is missing. She turns to see Star Swirl running down the hall with it.-

Star Swirl: YES! A sweet for my sweet to savor and eat!

Dust: -Turning back to the camera, and pointing at the scene.- Now THAT guy deserves more TV time...-shakes her head in shock, as well as in an amused manner.-


	22. Title Rankings - Week 2

Women's Eternal World Champion:

Champion: Lightning Dust  
1. Twilight (Last Week: 2) ^  
2. Scootaloo (Last Week: 1) v  
3. Rarity (Last Week: 4) ^  
4. Cadance (Last Week: 9) ^  
5. Sunset Shimmer (Last Week: 4) v  
6. Honeycomb (Last Week: EIGHT (FUCK YOU SUNGLASSES ICON) ^  
7. Diamond Tiara (Last Week: 6) v  
8. Turf (Last Week: 7) v  
9. Colgate (Last Week: N/A) ^  
10. Sparkler (Last Week: N/A) ^

World Fighters Champion:

Champion: To Be Decided  
1. Commander Hurricane (Last Week: 3) ^  
2. Trixie (Last Week: 1) v  
3. Rainbow Dash (Last Week: 4) ^  
4. Pinkie Pie (Last Week: 3) v  
5. Applejack (Last Week: EIGHT) ^  
6. Sweet Tooth (Last Week: N/A) ^  
7. Fluttershy (Last Week: N/A) ^  
8. Babs Seed (Last Week: 9) ^  
9. Apple Bloom (Last Week: 5) v  
10. Aloe (Last Week: 10) =

Champion of Carnage:

Champion: To Be Decided  
1. Rumble (Last Week: 7) ^  
2. Overdrive (Last Week: 1) v  
3. Flash Sentry (Last Week: 9) ^  
4. Shining Armor (Last Week: 4) =  
5. Fancy Pants (Last Week: 2) v  
6. Gustave Le Grand (Last Week: 3) v  
7. Snips (Last Week: 5) v  
8. Snails (Last Week: 6) v  
9. Gizmo (Last Week: N/A) ^  
10. Neon Lights (Last Week: N/A) ^

World Brawlers Champion:  
1. Big MacIntosh (Last Week: 6) ^  
2. Braeburn (Last Week: 1) v  
3. Happy Trails (Last Week: 2) v  
4. Hoity Toity (Last Week: 3) v  
5. Blueblood (Last Week: 4) v  
6. Soarin (Last Week: 5) v  
7. Squire (Last Week: N/A) ^  
8. Caramel (Last Week: 7) v  
9. Doughnut Joe (Last Week: EIGHT) v  
10. Thunderlane (Last Week: 9) v

Crater Chick Champion:

Champion: To Be Decided  
1. Honeycomb (Last Week: 2) ^  
2. Colgate (Last Week: N/A) ^  
3. Sparkler (Last Week: N/A) ^  
4. Midnight Strike (Last Week: 2) v  
5. Twist (Last Week: 3) v  
6. Turf (Last Week: 4) v  
7. Silver Spoon (Last Week: 5) v  
8. Berry Punch (Last Week: N/A) ^  
9. Cloudchaser (Last Week: 9) =  
10. Flitter (Last Week: 10) =

International Champion:

Champion: To Be Decided  
1. Babs Seed (Last Week: 6) ^  
2. Lotus Blossom (Last Week: 2) =  
3. Aloe (Last Week: N/A) ^  
4. Spitfire (Last Week: 1) v  
5. Photo Finish (Last Week: 7) ^  
6. Pretty Vision (Last Week: EIGHT) ^  
7. Daring Do (Last Week: 4) v  
8. Sweetie Belle (Last Week: 5) v  
9. Nurse Redheart (Last Week: 3) v  
10. Inkie Pie (Last Week: 9) v

Chick Combo Champions:

Champions: To Be Decided  
1. Twilight Sparkle & Rarity (Last Week: 2) ^  
2. Sunset Shimmer & Lightning Dust (Last Week: 1) v  
3. Cadance & Twilight Sparkle (Last Week: EIGHT) ^  
4. Diamond Tiara & Turf (Last Week: 3) v  
5. Diamond Tiara & Silver Spoon (Last Week: 4) v  
6. Turf & Silver Spoon (Last Week: 5) v  
7. Lyra & Bon Bon (Last Week: 6) v  
8. Flitter & Cloudchaser (Last Week: 7) v

Sublime Tag Team Champions:

Champions: Beauty Shot (Pretty Vision & Photo Finish)  
1. Aloe & Lotus Blossom (Last Week: 2) ^  
2. Octavia & Vinyl Scratch (Last Week: 1) v  
3. The Ghost Girls (Inkie Pie & Blinkie Pie) (Last Week: 3) =  
4. Applejack & Sweet Tooth (Last Week: N/A) ^  
5. Applejack & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 6) ^  
6. Sweetie Belle & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 4) v  
7. Applejack & Red Delicious (Last Week: 9) ^  
8. Applejack & Golden Delicious (Last Week: 10) ^  
9. Red Delicious & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 7) v  
10. Golden Delicious & Apple Bloom (Last Week: EIGHT) v

Combo of Carnage Tag Team Champions:

Champions: To Be Decided  
1. Braeburn & Happy Trails (Last Week: 1) ^  
2. EGO (Gustave Le Grand & Fancy Pants) (Last Week: 1) v  
3. BroMans (Flash Sentry & Shining Armor) (Last Week: 4) ^  
4. Horsepower and Rumble (Last Week: EIGHT) ^  
5. SLIME (Snips & Snails (Last Week: 3) v  
6. Canterlot Class (Hoity Toity & Prince Blueblood (Last Week: 5) v  
7. Neon Lights & DJ Zema Ion (Last Week: N/A) ^  
8. Hoops & Dumb-Bell (Last Week: 6) v  
9. Couch-Mate (Davenport & Check Mate) (Last Week: 7) v  
10. Hugh Jelly & Clip Clop (Last Week: 9) v


	23. Smarks Discuss - Week 2

On Lunacy:

konyy2k: Yes! I hope everyone saw me on Lunacy and Sublime! (I didn't think I'd get to go to Sublime but I had the extra money!) Yeah, I WAS the one who started the "We Want Daring" chant, and of course you all saw my HUGE sign. I didn't expect everyone to join in...apparently there are more Daring Do fans than I thought. A TON more. Princess Luna even acknowledged it! I just wish Daring could've been live on Sublime so she could've thanked her fans...;( oh well. I won't stop cheering until we get her, and even then, I'll keep cheering in support of her. Thanks everyone! (4,372 like this post.)

lupefiascoisgay (in reply): I was there, too. Nice job getting the crowd into it all night on BOTH shows!

konyy2k (in reply): Thanks, man!

4chan (in reply to konyy2k): Can't wait to see the live version of daring Do's porno with Ahuizotl on Sublime (28 like this post.)

Ahuizotl (in reply to 4chan): BETTER BE LOTS OF OIL, BR0. (452 like this post.)

Daring D00d (in reply to Ahuizotl): -Whispers-...I'm a man.

Ahuizotl (in reply to Daring D00d): EVEN BETTER.

notatroll (in reply to Ahuizotl): lol and yet I'm the troll of these threads kay. (29 like this.)

bennyhill (in reply to notatroll): nobody can replace you, buddy.

notatroll (in reply to bennyhill): lol thanks *kiss* got those monuments done yet?

bennyhill (in reply to notatroll): Applying the last marble piece!

notatroll (in reply to bennyhill): FUCK STOP DISAPPOINTING ME YOUR LIKE THE SON THAT CAN NEVER GET LAID (39 like this post.)

arevolution: IT BEGINS...#DaringRevolution (2,472 like this post.)

8yearoldboy: YAY TWILIGHT ONE ^_^! shes my favorite supurstar and inspires me 2 drink my milk and eat my vitamins! I LUV HEEERRRRR. lightning dust is a mean jerk and i want to smash her pinata!

galpal (in reply): hey little boy you want some sausage with your cereal? -8

8yearoldboy (in reply): no thanks i alreadyate! ^_^

galpal (in reply to): may I speak to your mother?

8yearoldboy (in reply to): no she's out getting groceries and when she gets home shell be making weird noises with daddy in the bedroom

galpal (in reply to): you've got a nice mom kid.

8yearoldboy (in reply to): THANKS! ^_^

MandoPony (in reply to 8yearoldboy & galpal): God I love this forum...

TheAwkwardReviewer: Another stellar episode of Lunacy, if not better than the first one. I'll admit, I HATED the Flash Sentry character...and then...he did THE MOVE. It was incredible. I had NO IDEA he could pull that off! I can't say I'm a fan of his character still, but if they make that move his go-to move, they'll have a million dollar STAR on their hands. The great feud of Sunset and Cadance continues. It's incredible what those two women will put themselves through just to send the fans home happy. Lightning Dust and Twilight had a great opening segment. Twilight's promo got ULTRA repetitive and cheesy, but I think she's meant to be the Nhoj Anec of this generation, and I don't mind it. I like cheesy. We haven't seen much of Rumble's wrestling ability so far, but that triple threat match went long enough to let him do his thing, while not completely burying Gizmo and Neon Lights, who are two other potentially GREAT gimmicks, ESPECIALLY Neon Lights. I love how his DJ seems to only be able to use ONE mixing effect (the basketball horn). Pretty fun 6 person main event, and that makes this episode better than the last. Hopefully this trend continues. (478 like this post.)

shyguy: Flash Sentry's still a pussy.

James Loney (in reply to): Dude...he's got a HOT girlfriend. Wouldn't YOU want to be controlled by Sunset Shimmer?

shyguy (in reply to): No because I find Sunset Shimmer to have a horse-face. (comment removed due to multiple dislikes.)

notatroll (in reply to shyguy): lol yet another troll that easily replaces me as the forum's troll.

Sethisto: Can't Trixie just appear on BOTH shows? (376 like this post.)

On Lunacy:

klunkybutt: ok thats it i said last week if daring doo didnt wrestle no moar ewf well she didnt show up so i no more watch

MandoPony (in reply to): See ya next week! (762 like this post.)

fred2266: Commander Hurricane STILL RULES and Apple Bloom's a fucking idiot. (3,176 like this post.)

bob (in reply to): Of course she's dumb. She's a hick.

galpal (in reply to bob): I'd still eat her butt, though.

notatroll: all this love for commander hurricane and i'm like...but...what about trixie? she has nice tits, too. (1,742 like this post.)

Sethisto (in reply to): YES WE NEED MORE TRIXIEEEEEEEEEE!

mackncheeze (in reply to notatroll): Trixie is pretty great, too. But Commander Hurricane...man.

notatroll (in reply to mackncheeze): bro i feel you commander can fist me with that iron glove anytime i'm just saying get off her and daring do's dick so i can hop on while stroking trixie's. (476 like this post.)

straightouttacompton: Well, they didn't give us Darin' Do, dawg...:/ but I guess we'll have to just keep trying.

Anonymous: OCCUPY THE SQUARED CIRCLE.

notatroll (in reply to): lol get new tricks Westboro Church hating fagg0t (1,472 like this post.)

Job-Guy: Rainbow Dash's match with Cheerile was SO GOOD. I hope RD wins the title! (243 like this post.)

glamourgirl: OMG Aloe and Lotus are SOOOO cute! I'm SOOOO glad they didn't break any nails this week! (123 like this post.)

TheAwkwardReviewer: Another solid episode of Sublime once again outdone by Lunacy, but it's still a great way to spend a Friday night. Commander Hurricane is such a dumb gimmick but I can't help but love how she gets OTHERS to take people our when SHE'S A WORLD RENOWNED WARRIOR OF TIME. It's great. Babs Seed a pretty cool heel, even bad-ass I'd say. Braeburn and Happy Trails' segment made me crack up. I'd like to see how EGO are going to combat that. Fluttershy is the CUTEST wrestler on either EWF roster. Rainbow Dash and Cheerilee has a great match, as did Babs and Apple Bloom. I can wait on Daring Do but it's fun to see the fans voice their opinions, and I hope they do so even AFTER she debuts. All in all, another good episode. The Equestrian Wrestling Federation is the best thing going on TV right now! (1,734 like this post.)

Sethisto: The amount of Trixie on this show displeases me.


	24. Lunacy - 1-15-14

_The beautiful people...OOOOOOOHHHH..._

-The pyro of Lunacy combusts inside the Asylum as all of the "Lunatics" that accompany the Asylum go nuts since they're in an asylum oh god you get it-

Garble: Another week, another pointless show...

Ahuizotl: Hey now...with each show, I gain more and more of a following with the "Daring Do Haters of Equestria" tumblr. Their tagline is: "Lara Croft may be a dumb Brit, but she still has a better ass"...

Garble: I am under the impression that I must disagree but alright. All I know is that you think Daring Do's ass would be a LOT better with some oil, right?

Ahuizotl: You are HARASSING me! Isn't there some kind of RULE against this?

Garble: Not until you kill yourself, there isn't...

Ahuizotl: -Pulls out a revolver, sending a sideways glare Garble's way-

Garble: You don't have the GUTS...-camera zooms in on Garble's serious eyes. Black bars crop everything but them out of focus.-

-Ahuizotl sweats. Ultimately, his shaking hands drops the gun on the table.-

Ahuizotl: Your...you're RIGHT...-hangs his head and sighs. Chants of "WE WANT DARING" with the elementary fives claps after each series of chants begin. Ahuizotl's eyes bulge.- GRRRRRAAAAAHHHHH! -Lunges for the gun, but is stopped by a man wearing a blue mask that covers up only his eyes, a yellow leotard, and a navy blue cape that waves in the wind swaying down on a grappling hook and grabbing the gun before Ahuizotl can get to it.-

?: St-AND BACK! There's a Flash Flood comin' though...-he announces as he flies away into the night-

-Ahuizotl and Garble sit there, voiceless. The crowd also is silent. The only noise that can be heard is the every second blinking of everyone in attendance.-

_A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head..._ -The crowd then comes to life with mostly boos, but just about every kid can be heard cheering-

Ahuizotl: And what a reaction...to THIS woman, the number 1 contender to the Women's Eternal World Championship at Proving Grounds!

Garble: And she's with that little BASTARD Spike! Like Lightning Dust said on Backstage Fallout, which went up on the Equestrian Wrestling Federation's YouTube channel last week-

Ahuizotl: Self plug.

Garble: It's in my contract. Lightning Dust said that for Twilight to gain the right to face her for her championship, she had to take that same chance away from the young lady she had praised SO MUCH earlier in the night, Scootaloo...

Ahuizotl: So...what are you saying?

Garble: Twilight's a false hero and everything she said last week was contradicted by her actions to close out the show.

Ahuizotl: My, my...such worldly claims. Can't you just be happy for Twilight? Scootaloo was taken out, and so, she took an advantage.

Garble: Even though she had previously SHUNNED Lightning Dust for taking an advantage?

Ahuizotl: I'm not saying you don't make good points...I'm just saying that, at the end of the day it DOESN'T MATTER. We're going to be given a CLASSIC bout at Proving Grounds! I feel that there is NO NEED to debate who is right and who is wrong.

Announcer: Please welcome...Twilight Sparkle, and Spike! -The crowd boos even more, as Twilight continues to high five the children of the audience. She gets in the ring and is soon given a microphone by Spike-

Twilight: Hello everyone, and welcome to Monday Night Lunacy! -More boos, followed by "LIGHT-NING-DUST" chants- Last week...was not just a win for me..but it was a win, for -she begins pointing at everything direction of the crowd- each. And every. One. Of YOU. -Boos- In two weeks time at Proving Grounds, I will combat the nefarious and treacherous acts of one Lightning Dust...-more cheers and "LIGHT-NING-DUST" chants from the crowd- She has proven since the inaugural episode of Lunacy that she is NOT the perfect, or even the TEMPLATE of a DECENT representative of the women's division as its champion. -Boos- She has feigned ignorance, and looks to corrupt the mind of every fan of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation. Those are not attributes that YOU people deserve in YOUR champion...Lightning Dust is NOT someone that should be fighting for YOU. -More boos- When I become the Eternal Women's World Champion, I will do the RIGHT thing, and I will do it for all of YOU! -You know how this works. Boos.- I can only hope I will be able to restore all of the title's credibility before it even had a chance to-

_And now...it's all over now..._. -Massive amount of cheers-

Garble: And here comes Sunset Shimmer, thank God, to shut Twilight Sapple UP.

-Sunset Shimmer already has a mic as she walks down the ramp-

Sunset: Twilight, Twilight, Twilight...you haven't changed one bit, have you? You've crafted this perfect little fantasy world up, where everybody but YOU is WRONG, and quite frankly, it's getting a bit tiresome. -She stops by the ring apron- Very soon now, these people are going to stop listening to your petty little complaints, and demand some damn ACTION from you! -Crowd cheers-

Twilight: You sure haven't changed either, Sunset...you're still the same manipulative and malevolent WENCH you've always been. Going after my brother, systematically attacking his girlfriend both eternally AND internally? You're even worse than LIGHTNING DUST. She just cheats, while you, on the other hand, only strive to tear relationships apart for your own entertainment.

-Sunset gets on the apron-

Sunset: Oh, YES...I'm just such a MONSTER, aren't I, Twilight? Because everything YOU say HAS to be the gospel truth. You made such a great effort to paint Dusty onto such a PAINSTAKINGLY wrathful piece, while giving young Scootaloo an entire WING of charming excellence. You soon get bored of your construction, and decide to tear it down.

Twilight: Your cryptic words are not appreciated. What are you getting at?

Sunset: -Smirks- You spent all this time praising Scootaloo, but in the main event...you STOLE her golden opportunity right out from under her.

Twilight: She was injured!

Sunset: She could've gotten up. Do you not believe in whom you praise? Face it, Twilight, your ego wouldn't ALLOW you to let someone else have a chance. You stole my chance to be princess of Equestria, and you stole Scootaloo's chance to fight for the title! She would've lost, but she's sure shown she deserves a chance to shine more than YOU. I think you've had QUITE enough time to "shine."

Twilight: You dug your own hole under Princess Celestia's eye. Don't blame that on ME. Secondly, if I didn't BELIEVE in Scootaloo, I wouldn't have given her my seal of approval. She took me to my LIMIT in that battle royal. She may have BEATEN me, but, of course, we'll never know that, thanks to Lightning Dust.

Sunset: -Scoffs- You keep making it sound like Lightning Dust was in the wrong for WINNING A CHAMPIONSHIP. You're delusional, Sparkle, and once again, your fantasy world is blocking the reality that's all around you. I think it's time I BEAT some reality into you, because you TRULY do need it...

-Twilight prepares herself, but she is caught off guard by Lightning Dust jumping over the barricade from behind her, storming the ring, and knocking her to the mat with a clothesline. She immediately goes on the attack, as Sunset gets in the ring. The crowd cheers in response.-

Ahuizotl: All this trash talking from Sunset Shimmer, and now the champion is proving everything Twilight has said RIGHT!

Garble: HOW IS THAT? If anything, it's proven LIGHTNING DUST right. Twilight just doesn't GET the mechanics of professional wrestling! You've got to have eyes IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD!

Ahuizotl: That is the most low-ball thing I've ever heard! Twilight Sparkle should not have to worry about being BLINDSIDED by a foe when she's having a confrontation with ANOTHER foe!

Garble: You and Twilight share a common interest, then...neither of you GET wrestling.

-Sunset goes to get her some of Twilight, but Spike jumps onto her back, and wraps his arms around Sunset's throat. Lightning takes a break from pummeling Twilight to literally THROW Spike off of Sunset. When Spike gets back up, he is superkicked in the face by Lightning Dust. The crowd "OOH's" and cheers in response.-

Garble: AHAHAHA! Did you HEAR that?!

Ahuizotl: Of COURSE I heard that DESPICABLE act! It must've bounced off the walls of this arena!

Garble: Spike doesn't just get wrestling...Spike doesn't get LIFE. If you want to put your hands on a woman, don't be surprised when a woman puts her hands on YOU.

-Sunset and Lightning return to Twilight, stalking her in the corner and finally hitting her with foot-chokes slaps to the face. All of a sudden, Cadance comes barreling down into the ring. The fans boo.-

Ahuizotl: And here comes the cavalry, in the form of Cadance!

-Sunset goes after Cadance with a clothesline, but Cadance ducks and continues running towards Lightning. Lightning vaults Cadance over the ring post when she reaches her, but Cadance hangs onto to the rope. She grabs Lightning by the head, and drives her neck into the rope. By now, Twilight has recovered, and hits Lightning with the Spell Check. Lightning rolls out of the ring, as Sunset recuperates after colliding with the turnbuckle, she runs at Twilight. Twilight leaps over Sunset, and Cadance trips the ropes to send Sunset tumbling down to the floor.-

Ahuizotl: How's THAT for delusional?

Garble: Cadance is a disillusioned mess, too. She's going to regret putting her hands on the champion!

_So together we are lost on the moon..._ -The crowd cheers, as Sunset and Lightning regroup by the ramp.-

Ahuizotl: And here comes the general manager, Princess Luna!

Garble: Looking as LOVELY, as always...hey, did you notice that she ALWAYS seems to come out at the start of the show?

Ahuizotl: -Nods- That's correct. You'd figure that'd make this the most CHAOTIC part of the show, but Lunacy gets even more chaotic the longer it's on!

Crowd: WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Luna: -Raises her patented hand- In due-time, everyone...-she suddenly gives a stern look towards the ring- The bickering continues between your four it seems. That is fine. After all, it makes for GREAT television! Sunset Shimmer and Cadance, I will start with you. Over the past two weeks, you two have put each other through feats of hell I never thought ANYBODY on this roster would be willing to put themselves through, just to get an edge of sorts. You've put each other through announce tables, supply tables, smashed each other's heads into crates. It's been a very heated rivalry, and I do not know when it will end. However, I do know when THIS chapter will climax...at Proving Grounds. We need to crown a few more champions, and one of those...is the Crater Chick Champion. You two will face off in a one on one match. Whoever wins, will have the honor of being the first ever Crater Chick Champion. Adding gold to this rivalry may be hazardous to BOTH of your health...but you hopefully know what you're getting yourselves into. Twilight, Lightning Dust, you've both given your sides of the story, but next week, we are going to decide what the SUPERSTARS think. Live, here on Lunacy, you two are going to take part in the first ever championship DEBATE. -Lightning Dust looks confused, Twilight looks ecstatic- More will be explained later. As for all four of you...you can't seem to keep your hands off of each other, and not just the pair of those in a rivalry. So, in our main event, tonight...it will be the team of Twilight Sparkle and Cadance...taking on the duo of Sunset Shimmer, and the Eternal Women's World Champion...Lightning Dust! -Crowd cheers- We thank you for your time...-Luna leaves the stage-

Garble: Once again, Princess Luna makes a HANDFUL of GREAT decisions!

Ahuizotl: Sunset Shimmer vs Cadance at Proving Grounds, what is sure to be a HEATED championship debate next week, and our main event for tonight, is a tag team match featuring participants in the two hottest rivalries on Lunacy? Can you say "EXPLOSIVE"?

Garble: You just did. Why should I?

Ahuizotl: Just cut to commercial...

-Twilight hugs Spike in the ring, as Sunset and Lightning Dust mock the gesture on the outside. Cadance makes a constipated face.-

*Commercial*

-We cut to Squilliam's Serene, the fanciest bar in Canterlot. Standing outside of it, are Happy Trails and Braeburn, whom will be played by Gustave Le Grand and Fancy Pants respectively. They're both wearing blue overalls. Fancy is wearing Braeburn's brown ten-gallon hat, while Gustave is wearing a straw-hat, with Happy's blue bandanna tied around his neck, and a piece of straw in his mouth to top it all of.-

Braeburn: Well gee, cousin Happeh...this sure does look like a swankeh ol' place, dudn't it?

Happy Trails: Ah'll say, cousin Braeburn! Ah sure do have a hankerin' for some MOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-SHHHHHHIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Braeburn: -Frowns- N' what if these Canterlot folk don't make it like we all do on the farm?

Happy: Well ah'll be a monkey's uncle, cuz...y'all know yah should NEVER look a gift horse in the mouth. Ah bet under all dem fanceh suits and expensivemamive LAAAAAAAAAAAAMBORGHHHHHHHIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIS-that these uppity folk start wailin' Tim McGraw songs and ripping off dem clothes to reveal a tattoo of a JOOOOOOHHHHHHNNNNNN DEERE TRRRRRRAACCCCTOOOOOORRRRRR.

Braeburn: -Raises an eyebrow- And wha' in TAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRNAAAAAAATTTTTTION does that have ta do with dem havin' MOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE 'r not?

Happy: ...-Blinks- Ah dunno, cuz. Dem governmament's pay for me ta be alive and such! Ah never woulda passed KIN-DE-GAR-TEN 'tweren't for me havin' sex with Mrs. Lassypassy...who was mah mom...

Braeburn: N' mah dad's wife...

Happy: -Long, drawn-out sigh- ...Yyyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ah sure do love FUCKIN' FAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIILLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Braeburn: Ah reckon y'all be spittin' truth like a King Cobra spittin' venom at onne'a dem Viet Kong bastards...that also fucked mah mom.

Happy: N' mah dad's wife...

Braeburn: ...But YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-sir! No truer words have ever been spokenenened. Ain't nuddin' like a good ol' dickin' from yur kin...AIN'T DAT RIGHT, APPLEJACK?

-Fleur De Lis, wearing Applejack's stetson, and blue overalls with a checkered button-up underneath comes into view-

Applejack: YEEEEEE-HAW! Who wanted a dickin'?

Braeburn: HYUK, HYUK, HYUK! Cousin Applejack...-"Oh, you!" face-...y'all don't have a DIIIIIIIICCCCCCKKKKK.

Applejack: HYUK, HYUK, HYUK-man's voice- Ah MIIIIIGGHHHHTTTTTT...

Happy: ...Ah don't doubt it! -All three HYUK-

Braeburn: Ah think y'all have ALREADEH been in the moon-shine, cousin Applejack...-grabs her by the overalls- AM AH GON' HAVE TA GET BIG MACINTOSH TO BEAT THE LILY-LOVIN' SHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTTTT OUTTA YOU? -Stink-eye-

Applejack: -Meek voice- Nuh uh, cuz...ah dun pay mah taxes...

Braeburn: !-lets go, and pats Applejack on the head- Ah know y'all do, cuz! -Licks her face-

Happy: HYUK, HYUK-AH DON'T -derp face-

Braeburn: Well yur a fuckin' idjit 'COURSE y'all don't! -All three HYUK again-

Happy: IT DUN BE TRUUUUUUUUEEE!

Braeburn: -Puts his arms around his family- Well, y'all...ah reckon it's time ta trade peacocks with the High Cotton...-Braeburn leads him and his family to the Bar's door. He opens the door, letting Happy in, but punches Applejack in the face, and drags her inside, closing the door

-The same DJ table from last week rises up, along with the same intro-

DJ Zema Ion: Ladies and gentleman, you all know me! I'm the hottest record spinner since Mr. Electric HIMSELF! DEEEEEEEEJAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY..ZEEEEEEMMMAAAAA...IIIIOOOON! But tonight, I'm takin' a break from the scratcha-lastic lifestyle...and I'm steppin' foot...into that SQUARED...CIIIRRRCCCCCLLLLEEEE! And now, let me proudly present to YOU...my tag team partner...-the beat drops- one of the factoring reasons why the divorce rate in Equestria rises more and more every day...NEEEEEOOOOOONNNNNN...LIIIGGGGHHHTS!

-Neon and Zema brofist. Zema sets off the basketball buzzer, and he jumps over the mixing table. He and Neon dive into the ring, fistpumping.

Ahuizotl: These guys are EXTREMELY antagonizing...

Garble: You just have NO CLUE on how to be HIP. -Jumps onto the table, and fistpumps with the DJ'ing duo.- OHOHOH!

Ahuizotl: I don't know how to be HIP, but I do find you trying yourself to be HUMERUS.

Garble: -Sits back down- Oh you're a horrible person...

_Ehehehe...everybody come see the greatest show..._. -Crowd cheers-

Announcer: And THEIR OPPONENT...at a combined weight of 421 POOOOUUNNDSSS-representing THE ODDITIES...the team of CLIP CLOP, and "THE PROFESSSOORRRR"...BILL...NEEEEEEIIGGGGH!

Ahuizotl: Now THESE guys are a FUN group. Boisterous, lovable-

Garble: Disgraceful?

Ahuizotl: That's how I would describe YOU.

Garble: -Smirks- Thanks for the compliment. Midnight Strike's an interesting case, though, and we now know WHY she hangs out with these freaks.

Ahuizotl: Her interview on Backstage Fallout was VERY interesting, and it's great to see that unknown side of her. She says the male members of the Oddities CAN wrestle, and I'm looking forward to seeing if Midnight is correct.

Garble: Well, she knows them better than anybody. I guess we'll find out.

Match 1: Clip Clop & Bill Neigh vs Zema Ion & Neon Lights

-Clip Clop and Bill Neigh are having a ball in the ring. When the bell rings, though, they stare a HOLE through their opponents.-

Ahuizotl: And the dancing has ceased...

Garble: All of a sudden...the Oddities faces do NOT look pleasant...

-Neon is surprised by this, but not intimidated. He runs at Clip Clop, but gets taken down to the mat with a headbutt to the gut. The crowd cheers-

Garble: YE-OUCH! He just RAMMED his own head into the abdomen of Neon Lights!

Ahuizotl: Neon may want to tag out...and SOON.

-8 minutes later-

-DJ Zema Ion jumps off the top rope for a double axe handle, but he gets caught in mid-air by Clip Clop. Clip Clop rears back, and then TOSSES Zema into the air with a T-Bone suplex-

Garble: It's only a matter of time before the tag team debut of the Oddities ends in SUCCESSION.

-Out of nowhere, Cloudchaser jumps onto the apron, and vies for Clip Clop's attention-

Ahuizotl: Where in the HELL did SHE come from?

Garble: Anywhere she wants...-begins to drool-...however, I don't know WHY she's out here...

-The referee goes over to admonish Cloudchaser and get her away from the ring. Cloudchaser puts one of her legs on the middle rope, and pulls her skirt up a bit. Intrigued, the referee remembers why Equestria is the greatest place in the world. Clip Clop, in addition, is pulled out of the ring by Horsepower, and rammed into the barricade with an exuberant amount of force. Bill Neigh takes him out with a dropkick to the floor below, but he is soon stunned by a lowblow from Flitter.-

Ahuizotl: CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THIS MATCH HAS BEEN INTERRUPTED?! I'M LEGITIMATELY CURIOUS.

Garble: I'm just wondering where Rumble is...

-With all the strength she can muster, Flitter manages to pick up the 280 pound clown and roll him back into the ring. Meanwhile, Midnight Strike has gotten this match back on track by grabbing Cloudchaser's skirt and flinging her off of the apron, causing her to hit the back of her head on the announce table cover.-

Garble: Oh no! I hope she's okay!

Ahuizotl: Seems like she doesn't UNDERSTAND wrestling, I'd say...don't be in places you SHOULDN'T be. Sound familiar?

Garble: Nope. Not one bit.

-As Bill Neigh continues to hold his nether region on the ground, Midnight begins to chase Flitter. Midnight runs into the waiting arms of Horsepower. Horsepower chucks Midnight into the barricade, as the crowd boos immensely.-

Ahuizotl: OH WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! WHY?!

Garble: Okay, THAT's not fucking cool...

Ahuizotl: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT ISN'T! WHAT MAKES THIS PLAUSIBLE TO ANYTHING?!

-The other members of the Oddities, Dance Fever and Hugh Jelly chase Cloudchaser and Flitter away and then beat down Horsepower on the other side of the ring. He can't take on both of them.-

Garble: Good! Kick his ass!

-Meanwhile, in the ring, Neon Lights Oklahoma Rolls Clip Clop, and grabs a handful of his colorful singlet.-

Ahuizotl: No! NOT THIS WAY!

1...2...3! -The crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: WHY?! WHY?! I REPEAT TO THE GODS ABOVE...WHY?!

Garble: I don't understand what this has to do with Rumble's match with Overdrive at Proving Ground...

Announcer: -Solemnly- Here are your winners...DJ Zema Ion...and Neon Lights... -Neon and Zema quickly run to the back to avoid the force of an irate stable-

-Dance Fever and Hugh Jelly help up Bill Neigh, and all three go over to check on Midnight. Clip Clop soon realizes what happened, and he goes outside to tear apart the ring-side set. Steel steps are thrown, the announce table is chucked into the ring, and the hammer is even ripped off of the ring-bell prop.-

Ahuizotl: What does Rumble have against The Oddities?! WHO COULD HATE THE ODDITIES?! THIS WAS THEIR DEBUT MATCH! THEY WERE GOING TO WIN, AND THOSE SHE-DEVILS AND HORSEPOWER SCREWED THEM!

Garble: I agree with you ALL the way...if anything, Midnight should NOT have been put into the cross-fire of it...what if this isn't Rumble's doing, though?

Ahuizotl: I don't see how it COULDN'T be! He obviously thinks he RUNS this entire show! Well SCREW that sawed-off little PRICK!

Garble: In any event, I meant what I said earlier tonight...when you put your hands on a woman, you'd BETTER be ready to have all the hands around you put on YOURSELF...whether Rumble put Horsepower and the Roses up to this or not, doesn't matter...they all better WATCH their back...

-The crowd chants "ODD-I-TIES" as Hugh Jelly carries his girlfriend to the back, all of the other Oddities, especially Clip Clop, pissed off as they are not far behind.-

*Back at Squilliam's Serene...*

Braeburn: What in TARRRNAATTTIIIOOONNN do y'all mean ya don't have any-

Happy: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN-SHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE?

Braeburn: HEG-xactly!

Squilliam: I'm terribly sorry, gentlemen, but we don't exactly cater to the -snickers-...COMMON FOLK around here! -Squilliam does his signature "HEH A-HEH" laugh as all the other penny-pushers laugh with him-

Random snob: I say...

Random snob #2: Good show! -He golf claps at the Cricket match on the big-screen TV above him-

Braeburn: -Grabs Squilliam's robe- Lookie 'ere mister...ah dun need ta make mah cousin Applejack drunk-as-HAAAAAYYYYYYLLLLLEEEEEEEE so ah's can FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKK her!

Squilliam: May I direct you to Florida? Not only is gay marriage legal there, but so is same-family marriage-

-Braeburn hoists Squilliam onto the bar-counter, and runs him down the entirety of it, causing bottles of numerous fancy liquors to strike his body and crack-

Braeburn: -Gets right in his face- Ah didn't wanna murry mah cousin...  
Happy: HE JUST WANTED TA HAVE SEX WIT'ER YA HEAR?! -Smashes a bottle of Dom. Romane Conti over his head-

Braeburn: -Pats Happy on the shoulder- Y'all made this octopus as useless as tits on a bull...

Happy: HYUK, HYUK THANKS, COOOOOUUUUSSSSSIIIIINNNNNNN!

Braeburn: -Begins to drag the still unconscious Applejack by her ponytail- COOOOOMMEEEEON APPLEJACK YOU DUMB BIIIIIITTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHH! -They all three leave the club-

Squilliam: -Groggy, if not disoriented- Aaaaappleloosa is the fanciest town in Equestria, and it does not suck eggs...-passes out from excessive blood loss-

Random snob: I say!

Random snob #2: Good show...-golf claps-

*Commercial*

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FAAALLL! Making her way to the ring...from LOOONEYYVVIILLEEE...weighing 138 POOOUUNDSSS...accompanied by LYYYRAAA...BOOOONNN BOOOOONNNN!

Garble: -Speaking gravely- Well, here comes Bon Bon...she's known for making some of the tastiest candy in Lonevyille, and-hey...you alright, 'Zotl?

Ahuizotl: -Looking down at the desk- Just trying to keep my composure...

Garble: -Frowns- I know you're pissed, man...I am too. But we HAVE to do our jobs. Can you tell us about Lyra?

Ahuizotl: -Perks up, but only slightly- Fine. Well, Lyra is...excitable, I guess you could say. She has a strange obsession with...corgis.

Garble: -Snorts- The dog?

Ahuizotl: That's what she told me. She sometimes wishes she could BE a corgi.

Garble: There sure are some strange characters on Lunacy...and, what is the relationship between Bon Bon and Lyra? Lyra seemed pretty protective of her in that battle royal.

Ahuizotl: Well, they're an item. Together.

Garble: OOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhh...nice!

Ahuizotl: Contain yourself.

Garble: Lesbians are the greatest gift this Earth was ever given, was all I was going to say. As long as they're happy.

_I swear I won't tease you, won't tell you no li-IES..._ -SUCH BOO. MUCH HATE-

Announcer: NOPE. -Jumps over the barricade to go and take a bathroom break-

Ahuizotl: If only WE could take a bathroom break...

Garble: Who's to say we CAN'T? -Jumps over the barricade-

Ahuizotl: Where are you going? -Looks to see Twist twerking over to his position- MOMMY 'ZOTL HELP ME-EEEEEEEE! -Runs TOWARDS the barricade, crashing through it. Doesn't stop-

-Lyra puts on gloves and a gas-mask and throws the still-dancing Twist into the ring before she starts doing the Seductive-Macarena on the announce table-

The commentary for this match will be provided by-Oh fuck all of our sponsors left NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Match 2: Bon Bon vs Twist

-Twist tries a different technique she hasn't done yet...try to entrance her opponent by grinding her hips up on them. Unfortunately, right when Twist is about to start, she notices that Bon Bon isn't wearing a gas-mask or gloves, but a full-blown contamination-suit.

Twist: Oh...THUCK. -Even so, Twist's body WILL NOT let her walk away. Something inside her body caresses her, takes her out to dinner, and whispers when they're in the bed "Dance Twist...you only know one move, and suck at it, but DANCE you Swedish Whore!" So yeah Twist back-pedals up against Bon Bon, and is immediately grabbed and hit with her finisher, The Candy Wrapper!-

1...2...3! -The crowd couldn't cheer enough, as coincidentally enough, Ahuizotl, Garble, and the Announcer are back right as the bell rings.-

Announcer: Here is YOUR WINNER...BOOOOON BOOOOOOON!

Garble: -Putting his headset back on- Ahhh...what'd I miss?

Ahuizotl: How should I know? I was in there with you!

Garble: Oh yeah...hey, just like your eyes, your balls are pretty close together. Makes you look pretty small.

Ahuizotl: That's not what your mother said...

Garble: WHOA EASY THERE LET'S GROW UP A LITTLE BIT HUH?

-Lyra happily jumps in the ring as Bon Bon takes off her suit. Lyra grabs Bon Bon, dips her, and plays some Japanese tongue-croquette with her. Some men in the crowd wolf-whistle while all the rest cheer.-

Ahuizotl: -Wide eyes- I'm not small anymore...

Garble: For the first time ever...Twist's theme fits.

-konyy2k has the "Forever Alone" face on in the crowd, as he chants "WE WANT DARING" sadly. He soon begins to sob as he realizes he's a virgin who will never know a woman's touch.-

-A promo begins, showing Overdrive in an abandoned Ford chop-shop in Detroit-

_This is where they made me...made me for battle..._

_Cars were their specialty...and I was their prototype..._

_Turns out I was the only one they ever made._

-The promo shows Overdrive quickly sprinting up a flight of stairs, as well as jumping rope in a hall-way. It's all being shot in grayscale vision.-

_So I couldn't afford to disappoint..._

_Or else they'd shut me down._

_And I'd never get to realize my FULL potential..._

_Then, the economy went to HELL..._

_The shop closed down. Thousands of jobs were lost..._

_I was forgotten...left to fight my own battles..._

_Left to prove I wasn't just some useless hunk of metal..._

-A robotic voice speaks: INITIATING...BEAST MODE.-

_AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!_

-The promo moves to show us Overdrive training hard. He terrorizes a sack of flour, he runs along the railroad tracks with an anchor over his shoulder, and he climbs a rope that begins deep underwater with cinder blocks tied to his feet.-

_I wasn't created for any specific purpose..._

_I have no special powers..._

_But now I've found my purpose..._

_To use my heart, determination, and training to make it in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation!_

_I've found my powers..._

_I've found...my home._

-The promo climaxes with Overdrive walking through the factory. The power is still working.-

_My name...is Overdrive...and I'm tired of collecting rust._

-The robotic voice speaks again: TURNING OFF CONNECTION TO POWER...-

-One by one, each light goes out until it is pitch dark in the factory. The clanking of Overdrive's metallic boots cease as he stops walking. He takes a glance behind, and his red eye from the metallic side of his helmet glows.-

-One last time, the robotic voice speaks: ENGAGING...DOMINANCE. On the screen, the caption "Overdrive. In Action. Next" appears in Crimson Red form.-

*Commercial*

-As we return, Featherweight is already in the ring, pacing in place. He faces the crowd behind him, and throws his arms up in the air, getting a decent reaction.-

Ahuizotl: We are BACK on Monday Night Lunacy, and are getting set for a match featuring the man who will face Rumble at Proving Grounds...Overdrive.

Garble: And I do NOT feel happy for that scrawny young kid in the ring...

_All my life I've been searching for something..._. -There are some noticeable cheers, but mostly boos from the audience-

Announcer: Aaaaaanddd, his opponent! From The Steel Ciiittttyy...weighing 253 POOOOUUUNNDSSS...OVVVVVVEERRRDRRRIIVVVVVEEEEEE!

Garble: This man is a MACHINE. LITERALLY. I cannot tell you how impressed I was with him two weeks ago when he essentially DOMINATED Horsepower.

Ahuizotl: You and me both. The man has ALL the tools to be the Champion of Carnage. I can't see how Rumble is going to beat him for that title, honestly.

Garble: It'll be an up-hill battle, but I still believe in Rumble!

Match 3: Overdrive vs Featherweight

Garble: This is basically a tune-up match for Overdrive, but for his opponent, Featherweight, it could mean SO much more...

Ahuizotl: Correct. Featherweight wants to succeed in this business, too, just like everybody else. He doesn't have a contract yet, though. A win over a number 1 contender like Overdrive could not only get him that contract, but also put him at the top of the leaderboard to challenge whoever becomes champion at Proving Grounds.

Garble: If you people think 192 pounds of Rumble is SMALL, then what about 146 pounds of FEATHERWEIGHT?

Ahuizotl: Well, why do you think his name is FEATHERWEIGHT? At least he weighs more than any of the women on our roster.

-Overdrive extends his hand, but is met with a slap to the face by Featherweight. Most of the crowd may not like Overdrive, but they KNOW how shitty of an idea that was.-

Garble: What in the world is this kid doing...?

Ahuizotl: He must be too much of a wuss to commit suicide.

Garble: Well, Overdrive better not be charged with killing this kid here tonight. The kid was asking for it!

-Featherweight jumps into the air, throwing his arms up in a celebratory manner.-

Featherweight: YEEEEEEAAAAAAH! -He pounds his chest. His seizure is cut short by a clothesline from Overdrive. Featherweight oversells it by doing a backflip before hitting the mat belly-first.-

Ahuizotl: OOOOOOH! Overdrive just turned poor Featherweight inside out!

Garble: "POOR"? He DESERVED it!

-Overdrive cracks his neck, and begins to work on Featherweight.-

*3 minutes later*

-Featherweight begins to crawl up Overdrive's kneepads slowly and with not much life left in him.-

Ahuizotl: Could Overdrive be showing mercy?

Garble: No way! He's been decimating this pipsqueak since he slapped him for no good reason. He's just toying with him.

-When Featherweight gets to Overdrive's tights, Overdrive SHOVES Featherweight into the ropes, and levels him with a Scoop Powerslam on the bounce!-

Garble: He hits it! The move he beat Horsepower with!

1...2...3! -Crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: Overdrive...once again in impressive fashion, builds momentum to Proving Grounds!

-Trending now on Twitter: "#WeWantDaring", "#DaringRevolution", "Twilight Sparkle" and "#StupidSexyCloudchaser"-

Garble: I'm beginning to see it your way, 'Zotl...how CAN Rumble beat Overdrive?

-We meet back up with Braeburn, Happy Trails, and Applejack at "The Wet Sardine" diner on the outskirts of Canterlot.-

Happy Trails: -Banging his fork and knife against the table like a little kid- AH WANT CHEESY TATER TOTS! AH WANT CHEESY TATER TOTS!

Braeburn: Will YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU SHUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPP?

Happy: Che-

Braeburn: NO.

Happy: CHE-

Braeburn: AH DUN THINK SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, COOOOOUSIIIINNNNNNNNN. If ah couldn't get mah MOOOOOOOOONNNNNN-SHIIIIIIIINNNNNNE, than y'all ain't gettin' whatever y'all want!

-The waitress walks up to their table-

Waitress: Hello, darlings. I'm Cherry Jubilee, and I'll be y'all's waitress for this evening! Can I start y'all off with some ref- -Cherry notices the knocked out Applejack hunched over in her booth seat- Ummm...sugs'...is she alright?

Braeburn: Y'ALL DUN NEED TA WORRY 'BOUT APPLEJACK NOW SHE'S JUST A DUMB BEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH.

Happy: HYUK, HYUK YEAH! What a DUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB fuckin' cunt.

Cherry's mind: -Sigh-...not THESE kind'a folk again...

Cherry: -Puts on the best fake grin she can- Wwwwwweeeelllll...what can I get for y'all FIIIINNNEEEEE people today?

Happy: HUR HUR AH DUN WANT CHEESY TATER TO- -Braeburn sticks the toothbrush he uses to wipe the mud off of his boots into Happy's mouth-

Braeburn: Jus' get us all some BIIIIIIISSSSSCCCCCUUUUUUIIIITTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSS n' gravy, toots! -Smacks Cheery's ass-

Cherry: -Barely keeps her composure, her teeth being ground up like coffee wait wut analogy- Three biscuits and gravies comin' RIIIGGGHHTTTT up, sugs'...-starts walking off, mumbling- And I'll be sure to get y'all a nice tall glass of MANNERS, too...

Braeburn: Cousin Happeh...what in Nickelback's armpit are y'all doin'...?

Happy: -Pouring a bottle of ketchup onto his head- HUR HUR...AH DUN SAW A SKUNK EARLIER, COUSIN BRRRRRRRAAAAAEEEEBBBBBUUUUURRRRN! GOTTA GET THE STTTTTTTTTTAAAAAANNNNNNNNKKKKK OUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

*Commercial*

*Interview Area*

Interviewer: Ladies and gentleman, I am standing by with the BroMans- -Shining Armor and Flash Sentry put their arms around his shoulders, shaking furiously. The interviewer laughs at their antics-...Shining Armor, and Flash Sentry! Shining, how are you feeling after that heinous attack at the hands of Snips & Snails a few weeks ago?

Shining: Well, *REDACTED*...apparently those two ARE calling themselves SLIME officially-

Flash: And it FITS!

Shining: -Nods- It absolutely does. Snips and Snails are in fact nothing but grotesque and vile little rats, and when someone attempts to corner them, they'll just OOOOZZEEE right into the manhole.

Flash: Nice symbolism!

Shining: As far as my...-points to his head, as he still has the bandage- injury...I am recovering, but the doctors have stated I will not be able to compete until Proving Grounds.

Interviewer: Wait...you'll be competing at Proving Grounds?

Shining: Not just me, but Flash as well.

Flash: Hi! -Waves at the camera-

Shining: General Manager Luna has given us a match with the men who TRIED to take me out...

Flash: But FAILED!

Shining: ...Snips and Snails, or SLIME if they prefer. It will be a tornado tag team match; nobody tags in, nobody tags out, and with both me AND Flash in the ring at the same time...SLIME will not be able to slither away.

Interviewer: That sounds like it will be a hell of a match-up! One last question, Shining...do you care to comment on the situation with Cadance and Sunset Shimmer?

-Flash turns to glare at Shining Armor. He has his arms crossed-

Flash: Yeah, man...what's going on between you and my girlfriend?

Shining: -Sigh- Nothing, dude...look, I'm with Cadance...THAT'S my girl. I know the boundaries one should not cross when it comes to women, and taking your best friend's girl? It's not one of them. Sunset Shimmer wants to kick my girl's ass on a weekly basis, and I get that; women FIGHT. But your girl is targeting ME in the process.

Flash: -Frowns and scratches the back of his neck- Yeah...sorry about that. Sunny kind of...does what she wants...

Shining: Well, you need to keep a handle on her. I am NOT losing Cadance to this BULLSHIT. Talk to her, because Cadance is starting to get suspicious...

Flash: I-...I will, man. Don't you worry. I'll get this ALL sorted out. Now, how about we go get some Tacos?

Shining: Fine. You driving? -They start to walk off-

Flash: -Laughing- What? Concussions impair your steering ability, too?

Shining: -Chuckling- Shut up, man...

Interviewer: Thank you for your time, gentlemen...

*The whirring of a drill*

Garble: JESUS JUMP-SCARE!

Ahuizotl: I'm not sure whose more scary...Twist...or COLGATE...

Garble: One pulls teeth, and one pulls...odd thoughts into your mind?

Ahuizotl: Good enough!

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first...from LONEYVILLE...weighing 132 POOOOUUNNDSSS...COOOLLLLGAAAATTEEEEE!

Ahuizotl: Last week, Colgate was successful against Twist-

Garble: Of course she was! Twist SUCKS. Colgate DRILLS.

Ahuizotl: Nice one, boy. Tonight, however...Colgate faces a more DAUNTING task...

*REDACTED THEME* (LUL more daunting opponent = NO THEME lul) -Crowd cheers-

Garble: Wow...you weren't kidding.

Announcer: Aaaaaannndddd HER OPPONENT! From LOOONNEYYVVIILLEE...weighing 127 POOOUUNNDSSS...RAAAARRIITTTTTTYYYYY!

Garble: Rarity, who put on a near STELLAR performance in the battle royal two weeks ago, and who nearly won the opportunity to face Lightning Dust for her championship, makes her debut in singles action tonight.

Ahuizotl: She has an eye for fashion, as well as an eye for competition. Colgate may not have such an easy time this go-a-round in the ring...

-Rarity does not look intimidated, as she stares off with Colgate-

Garble: This is gonna be good...

Match 4: Rarity vs Colgate

-23 minutes-

-After 23 minutes of action, Colgate has kicked out of two of Rarity's finishers, 3 of her signatures, and eaten a DDT onto the apron. Rarity on the other hand, has kicked out of one of Colgate's "BRUSH, RINSE, REPEAT" finishers, a high impact powerbomb off of the top rope, and a curb-stomp. On top of all of that, it's just been an AWESOME match. All of the multiple near-falls have made the crowd shocked because often times, they didn't think either wrestler would could out. This match has played with their emotions.-

Crowd: THIS IS AWES-SOME *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*! THIS IS AWE-SOME *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*! THIS IS AWE-SOME *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*!

Ahuizotl: These two women have put their heart and SOUL into this match-up, and the fans are SHOWING their appreciation!

Garble: As far as it goes for Rarity, anybody who says that "prissy clothes designers" can't FIGHT...you're DAMN WRONG. The ruthlessness of Colgate, and the technical prowess of Rarity...makes for the best match on the card! I GUARANTEE it!

-Rarity connects with a northern lights suplex.-

Ahuizotl: Will THIS be it?!

1...2...-At the very last second, Colgate inches her right arm out, and JAMS her hand into Rarity's mouth. The crowd cannot contain themselves, and go WILD at this counter.-

Garble: No! Rarity kicks out-HOLY HELL! COLGATE LOCKS IN THE "ROOT CANAL"! IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!

Ahuizotl: This is the move that made blood OOZE out of Twist's mouth last week!

Garble: All she does is just YANK at her opponent's teeth! It's so simple, but it makes you CRINGE just watching it!

Crowd: RAR-I-TY! RAR-I-TY! RAR-I-TY! RAR-I-TY!

-Rarity squirms and writhes in pain, desperately trying to make it to the ropes. Colgate notices this, and uses her legs to clench Rarity's anxious arms against her thighs to prevent the possibility of the rope-break. Colgate also moves the finisher into a seated position.-

Garble: Oh the ring awareness of Colgate is UNBELIEVABLE!

Ahuizotl: CAN RARITY MAKE IT OUT?

-With no hope of making it to the ropes, and no hope of escaping, Rarity taps like a mad-man-

Ahuizotl: She couldn't make it! She had to tap if she wanted to keep her molars!

Announcer: Here is your winner...COLGAATTEEE...

Garble: What an absolutely SPECTACULAR match! Even in defeat, there were many times in this match that I thought Colgate was DONE! The same could be said from Rarity! She hung on as LONG as she could!

-Colgate tries to do more damage, but the referee forces her out of the ring. Colgate lightly kicks Rarity in the head on her way out of the ring. The fans continue to give a standing ovation to both Colgate and Rarity, as we cut backstage to see Diamond Tiara, with her neckbrace still intact, Silver Spoon, and Turf walking backstage.-

Garble: And it seems that The Mean Girls will be making their way to the ring. And if I'm not mistaken, apparently they are going to call out Scootaloo...

Ahuizotl: With a vengeful Diamond Tiara out for Scootaloo's hide, it really wouldn't be too wise for Scootaloo to meet them in the ring. Non-the-less, that is NEXT...

*Commercial*

-We cut back to the ring, where The Mean Girls are already there as their music continues to play. All three have a mic.-

Crowd: HOW'S YOUR NE-ECK? *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* HOW'S YOUR NE-ECK? *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: So rude...right after they show respect to Colgate and Rarity, they blatantly DISRESPECT the QUEEN here in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation!

Ahuizotl: No, they're actually being QUITE thoughtful! They're asking how Diamond Tiara's neck is!

Garble: WELL IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT GOOD IF SHE STILL HAS A GOD-DAMN NECKBRACE ON!

Diamond: -Scoffs- Not this again...do you people have ANY sympathy in your fat and disgusting bodies? -Crowd boos-

Turf: YEAH! Show DT some respect before I MAKE YA!

Crowd: FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF!

Garble: JEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ! How hostile...

-Turf begins kicking the ring-ropes in utter rage-

Diamond: Just ignore them, girl. The only thing they're accomplishing is showing just how CLASSLESS they can be...-more boos- Onto more IMPORTANT things...after my...misfortunate fall into the barricade last week...thanks to -growls- TWILIGHT SPARKLE! The recovery process in my neck WAS stalled a bit. Too bad for you...now you won't get to see me in action until further notice...

Silver Spoon: It's okay, though, Diamond! We're like, here to get the job done and all those other cliche Action movie tropes.

Diamond: -Smirks- I know you are, Silver Spoon...and I know you and Turf WON'T let me down...

Turf: HELL no, DT! We're your besties, and besties ALWAYS stick together! -The three share a group hug-

Garble: -Sniffles- It's so beautiful...-blows his nose-

Crowd: KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!

Garble: And the crowd ruins the moment...

_Colorful rainbows catch my eyes, when I see you fly across the sky..._ -The hug breaks, and Diamond Tiara stomps her feet. The fans cheer-

Garble: CAN'T ANYBODY AROUND HERE LET A MOMENT GO ON?!

Ahuizotl: Scootaloo has been FALSELY targeted by these three since the inception of Lunacy, but Scootaloo has been able to take EVERYTHING they've thrown at her, and she's become a fan favorite because of it!

-Scootaloo smiles out at the crowd, as chants of "SCOOTALOO" reign supreme. Scootaloo already has a mic, and she gets in the ring.-

Scootaloo: I hate to breakup this little love fest you've three got going on, but I just HAD to stop it all before I THREW up! -Cheers-

Diamond: Speaking of THROW-UP, it's good that your VOMIT colored body is out here, because The Mean Girls actually have an ANNOUNCEMENT to make!

Scootaloo: What? You're retiring?

Diamond: -Narrows eyes- You wish...n-

Scootaloo: You're posing for Playboy?

Diamond: -Points out at the crowd- THEY wish!

Garble: I WISH!

-Silver Spoon gets a creepy face at the possibility of Diamond Tiara being in Playboy. Turf glares at her with a raised eyebrow-

Diamond: NO! As Princess Luna said earlier, there are still CHAMPIONS that need to be crowned. Notice the "s" at the end of CHAMPION. Lunacy needs TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. And...unlike ALL OF YOU -gestures to the crowd-, Princess Luna knows TALENT when she sees it...

Scootaloo: Yeah...I guess I AM pretty talented, aren't I?

Turf: NOT YOU, BITCH! US! Me and SILVER SPOON! WE'RE the premier tag team in the EWF, and she has given us the chance to become the Chick Combo champions at Proving Grounds.

Scootaloo: Good for you? I don't get how I fit into this...

Diamond: Of COURSE you don't...for snooping around in the H.B.I.C.'s business, Princess Luna decided to reward YOU too...

Scootaloo: You mean...I'll get that opportunity, too?

Diamond: Unfortunately. It's pretty unfair. I bet you're SO proud of yourself...you've inspired everybody to think that if they interject themselves into any situation they want, they can get the same reward as those who WORKED for it.

Scootaloo: Worked for it? None of you three have even won a MATCH yet! I've BEATEN all THREE of you!

Turf: -Lunges at Scootaloo, but gets held back by Silver Spoon- YOU WON'T BE BRAGGING AFTER PROVING GROUNDS, YOU ORANGE WHORE!

Scootaloo: -Smirks- Your insults stopped hurting me LONG ago...

Diamond: We know...that's why wrestling is PERFECT for us. If our words fail, we always have the right to hurt you with ACTIONS. -Giggles evilly-

Scootaloo: -Waves this threat off- Hold on, though...how can I challenge for the tag team titles? I don't have a partner...

Diamond: That's what we're confused about, as well. The only way you could face my bitches is if you had a partner of your own, and your other LOSER friends are on Sublime...you'd have to find a TOTALLY different partner.

Silver Spoon: And, like, let's face it...who would want to team up with YOU? -Diamond Tiara snorts, and Turf and Silver Spoon guffaw-

*GLASS SHATTERS* -The crowd pops, and the Mean Girls' laughter stops as they and Scootaloo turn to the stage-

Garble: That's...Berry Punch?!

Ahuizotl: Does she want to Scootaloo's PARTNER?

-Berry Punch struts to the ring in her black leather jacket. She works all four turnbuckles, throwing up her middle fingers. After the last turnbuckle, she comes by and SWIPES Silver Spoon's microphone out of her hand. The crowd cheers. Silver Spoon gasps, and the other Mean Girls do NOT look impressed. Berry Punch stands by Scootaloo.-

Berry Punch: So...I hear you're looking for a tag team partner? -She looks at Scootaloo-

Scootaloo: I guess I'd need one to compete for the titles.

Berry: Well I'll be DAMNED-you've found one! -Crowd cheers, as the Mean Girls laugh-

Diamond: Uhum...EXCUSE me, but THAT'S HILARIOUS! You're going to team up with the locker room's DRUNK? -More laughter-

Turf: I mean, YOU'RE a big enough loser, Scootaloo...but even YOU'VE got to have standards! Berry Punch?! That's the bottom of the ROSTER!

Berry: -Points- You shut your damn mouth you poofy-haired bitch. -Crowd erupts in cheers-

Scootaloo: -Leans in to Berry Punch- I'd rather have my eyes jabbed out than agree with them, but, they DO have a point, Berry Punch...in your debut match you...passed out and lost. How can I count on you to help me win the titles?

Berry: Because I'm "Marble Cold" Berry Punch, that's why! I'm the toughest D.O.B in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation! I beat the wigs off people. I'm bad news. I'm worth the time. I'm an ass-kicker. I'm the only hope you've got, so ya might as well take it, or I'll leave ya to get your ass kicked! Do you accept my partnership?

Scootaloo: I've done fine by myself so far...but being a champion is what I came to the EWF for...could you just PROVE to me what you bring to the table first?

Berry: Well, hot-damn...thanks for forgetting everything I just said-but FINE...-darts her eyes back and forth between Silver Spoon and Turf. She finally points at Silver Spoon- YOU. I'll snap your spine in half, and use you to stir my damn Cheerios. -Crowd cheers- You come out here with your big damn reading glasses. Your little pink braid in your lint-colored hair. I mean HELL, I find lint looking like your hair in my belly-button. -Silver Spoon starts to become agitated- Your gaudy pearl necklace, that's probably made from blue Sixlets. Your ugly-ass purple boots, with a little blue bow-tie strapped to each one. I mean damn...I know more about fashion than you, ya dumb bitch. You wanna come out here and INSULT...Marble Cold Berry Punch...with your mere existence? How about I stomp a dirt-hole in your ass, and WALK IT DRY? -Crowd cheers-

Silver Spoon: -Undoing her braid- YOU'RE ON!

Berry: ...Well alright. Scootaloo, watch with your damn eyes. You two hussies -points at Turf and Diamond Tiara- Get your asses out of Marble Cold's ring, or I'll beat the EVER-LOVING hell out of ALL your asses!

-Turf, out of concern for Diamond Tiara's well-being, leaves the ring with her. Scootaloo leaves too, and Silver Spoon gets in Berry Punch's face-

Silver Spoon: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I'LL BEAT YOU SO BAD, YOU'LL WANT TO NEVER TEAM UP WITH SCOOTAL- -Berry Punch interrupts with a right hand, sending Silver Spoon tumbling in the turnbuckle. Berry Punch begins to kick her until she goes into a downed-position-

Garble: I guess that's what Berry Punch met by "stomping a dirt-hole"...she won't STOP!

Ahuizotl: And it looks like we've got an impromptu match on our hands!

Match 5: Silver Spoon vs Berry Punch

-10 minutes later-

-Berry Punch takes down Silver Spoon with a Uol Zseht Press, and a few punches. Turf gets on the ring apron.-

Ahuizotl: What is with women always wanting to interfere in these matches?

Garble: Women CRAVE attention, 'Zotl...you should know that.

Ahuizotl: Well, it's going to end up biting them on the ass!

-Berry sees this, grabs Silver Spoon, and Irish whips her. Turf doesn't see her fellow bitch coming towards her, as she is busy telling off the ref, so she can't move out of the way, and gets knocked down to the floor.-

Ahuizotl: I warned her...

Silver Spoon: I am SO SORRY!

-Berry waits for Silver Spoon-

Garble: You might not want to turn around!

-When Silver Spoon turns around, she is met with the middle fingers of Berry Punch. Berry kicks her in the gut, hooks her neck, and drives herself and her opponent down with The Bar Tab. The crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: Now we've BOTH been right about something at least ONCE in this match!

1...2...3!

Garble: And Berry Punch...proves herself to be a WORTHY partner, and I KNOW I'm right about THAT!

Announcer: Here is YOUR WIINNNEERRR...BEEEEEERRRYYY...PUUUUNNCCCCHHHHH!

-Turf drags Silver Spoon out of the ring, and runs in. She tries to attack Berry Punch, but Berry was waiting for her, and takes her out with The Bar Tab! The crowd cheers even more.-

Ahuizotl: Turf tried to get the jump on an unsuspecting Berry Punch, but "Marble Cold" was INDEED waiting for her!

Garble: It's like she has eyes in the back of her head...

-Diamond Tiara screams outside the ring, as Scootaloo extends her hand. Berry soon shakes it-

Garble: It's official! At Proving Grounds, the vacant Chick Combo titles will be ON THE LINE, as Turf and Silver Spoon, face off against the BRAND NEW tag team...Of Scootaloo and Berry Punch!

-Berry Punch gestures to the timekeeper, and gets a few beers thrown her way. She catches both.-

Ahuizotl: And now...it's time for a little CELEBRATION!

-Berry offers a beer to Scootaloo, but she grimaces and puts her hands up-

Garble: Surely she knows Scootaloo is under-aged...

-Berry Punch shrugs, and downs both beers at the same time-

Ahuizotl: This team may have came out of nowhere, but it still looks pretty formidable...I'd be worried if I were The Mean Girls!

Garble: Diamond Tiara is the greatest manager, though. Turf and Silver Spoon are in good hands...

-The graphic for our main event tag team match pops up. Twilight, Cadance, Sunset, and Lightning are all in determined poses. The phrase "NEXT" lies under it.-

*Commercial*

*Back at the Diner...*

-Cherry Jubilee returns with Braeburn's, Happy Trails' and Applejack's biscuits and gravy-

Cherry: Enjoy your meal...-sets the plates down-

Happy: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

-Braeburn and Happy get out of their booth, and do a country jig, they sing-

Braeburn and Happy: BISCUITS N' GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAVYYYYYYYY...MADE ME A MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN! OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH BISCUITS N' GRRRRRRRAAAAAAVVVVVVV-YYYYYYYY...MADE ME ALL THAT AH AM!

-Cherry walks away, rolling her eyes. The cousins sit back down at their booth-

Happy: Hey, cos! -Points at Braeburn's plate- Y'all gon' EEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT that?

Braeburn: SUURRRRRRRREEEEEE AMMMMMMMMMMM! -Points at Happy's plate- Y'all gon' EEEEEEEEAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT that?

Happy: Yup!

Braeburn: ...-Angry face- AH HATE YOU.

Happy: AH HATE YOU TOO.

-Braeburn grabs Happy in a headlock, and forces him out of the booth and to the floor. They immediately start hitting each other.-

Braeburn: AH'M GON' BEAT THE SHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTT OUTTA YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!

Happy: FUCK YOU, COS! FUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK Y'AAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

-Braeburn kicks Happy in the gut, and runs out of the dinner with him on his tail. Happy soon tackles Braeburn outside-

Happy: AH'LL KILL YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Braeburn: YUR A PIECE'A SHIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, COOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSS!

Happy: YUR A BIGGER PIECE'A SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

-They continue fighting on the ground, as the scene fades out-

_A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head..._ -Crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: It's time...for our MAIN EVENT of the evening!

Spike: The following TAG TEEAAAM contest...is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...at a combined weight...of 272 POOOUNNDSSS...CAAADDAANNCCEEE...AND TWWIIILLLIIGGHHTTT...SPPPPAARRRKKLLLEEEEE!

Garble: I can only IMAGINE what is going to happen when we put two of the biggest rivalries in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation in ONE MATCH!

Ahuizotl: A nuclear-like explosion at best, boy. Sunset Shimmer and Cadance have put each other through HELL these past few weeks...it's gotten more personal than we could've EVER imagined. Where-as Lightning Dust and Twilight have been in a war-of-words, is the best way to describe it. They each make great points, but at the end of the day, you win by besting your opponent in the ring...NOT on the mic.

Garble: Although it IS very cool when you can prove your opponent wrong...

_Welcome to the Danger Zone!_ -The crowd cheers immensely-

Announcer: Aaaanndddd...THEIR opponents...at a combined weight of 274 POOOOUUNNDSSS...the team of SUNSET SHIIMEERR...and the Women's Eteerrnaaallll...Woorrlddd CHHAAMMPPIOONN...LIIIGHTTTNNIIINNGGG DUUUUST!

-Cadance and Twilight cannot wait for their opponents to get to the ring. They escape the ring and meet Sunset and Lightning on the ring to brawl-

Ahuizotl: I told you! This arena will not be able to HANDLE these four in the ring at the same time! They're going to have to stay outside!

Garble: We've gotta get some order here!

Main Event: Twilight Sparkle and Cadance vs Lightning Dust and Sunset Shimmer

-26 minutes later-

-Lightning Dust Irish whips Cadance into her corner. Twilight slaps her shoulder, tagging herself in. Lightning runs at Cadance, and Cadance moves herself out of the way, sending Lightning crashing shoulder first into the ring-post. Twilight climbs the top rope, and jumps off, flips herself in mid-air, and grabs Lightning's trunks on the way down to put her into a pinning predicament-

1...2...-Sunset Shimmer breaks up the pin by coming into the ring and dropkicking Twilight in the face. The crowd cheers-

Garble: And Sunset Shimmer breaks up the pin at the LAST second!

Ahuizotl: What a main event this has been!

-Cadance hits a running crossbody on Sunset by the ropes, sending them both over the top rope.-

Garble: Twilight and Lightning Dust are alone in the ring!

-Lightning Dust quickly gets up and goes for an enziguri, which misses. Twilight then attempts the Friendship Report report, which Lightning counters into an armdrag, sending Twilight into the corner. Lightning runs at Twilight in the corner fora Stinger Splash. Twilight moves, but instead of colliding with the turnbuckle, Lightning LEAPS onto it. The crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: What a move by Lightning Dust to avoid contact with the turnbuckle!

Garble: That's why she's the champion...enough agility to power an Olympic track team!

-Lightning doesn't even need to look back as she leaps into the air for a Moonsault. Many camera were flashed that day as Twilight Sparkle moved at the last minute. The crowd "OOH's" and boos in response-

Ahuizotl: THAT WAS A PICTURE PERFECT MOONSAULT BY LIGHTNING DUST!

Garble: Complete with a picture perfect MISS! Can Twilight take advantage?

-Twilight quickly picks Lightning Dust up, and connects with the Take A Note!-

Garble: She does!

1...2...3! -The crowd could not boo any more.-

Ahuizotl: For the second week in a row...Twilight Sparkle has pinned the Eternal Women's Champion!

Garble: Talk about MOMENTUM.

Spike: Here are your WINNERS...CADANCE...and TWWWIILLIIGGHTTT SPPAARRKKLLEEEEEE! -The crowd continues to boo-

Crowd: Twilight SUCKS! Twilight SUCKS! Twilight SUCKS! Twilight SUCKS!

Ahuizotl: Yet another unpredictable night here at Lunacy...Twilight wins AGAIN. Can she win the Championship debate next week?

Garble: We shall see. Until next week...goodnight, jerks!

-The show ends with Twilight and Cadance hugging as Spike applauds. The crowd ends with one last "WE WANT DARING" chant-

*Meanwhile*

-Realization hits both Braeburn and Happy Trails. They cease fighting, and get up, dusting themselves off. After a few moments of looking deep into eachother's eyes...they hug, spewing manly tears simultaneously.-

Happy: AH-HA LOOOOOOOOOVVVVEEE YOU, COOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Braeburn: -Sniffling uncontrollably- AH LOVE Y'ALL TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, COOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSS! -They break the hug-

Happy: -Pulls out of Roman Candle- Fuck Applejack...let's go git some MOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN-SHHHHHHHIIIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEEE!

Braeburn: HYUK, HYUK YEAH! She's a DUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB slut.

-Happy lights the Roman Candle, and chucks it at the diner. It soon goes off, and blows up the diner because Michael Bay-

Braeburn: Mama always said life was like a box'a Roman Can-dles...ya never know where yur gon' throw 'em...

Happy: -Wipes his eyes out- That'll do, cos...that'll do... -The two cousins put their arms around each other, and walk off into the sunset as the fire emanating from the diner crackles...like the biggest fireplace ever.-

*End Show*

Quick Results:

DJ Zema Ion and Neon Lights defeated Clip Clop and Bill Neigh (Interference from Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser)  
Bon Bon defeated Twist (Pinfall)  
Overdrive defeated Featherweight (Pinfall)  
Colgate defeated Rarity (Submission)  
Berry Punch defeated Silver Spoon (Pinfall)  
Twilight Sparkle and Cadance defeated Sunset Shimmer and Lightning Dust (Pinfall)


	25. Backstage Fallout - Episode 3

-Anon spots Berry Punch walking down the hall. He waits for her to stop.-

Anon: Berry Punch, I just wanted to get your thoughts on tonight's turn of events?

Berry: The hell you mean "turn of events"? I'm gonna get drunk off my ass and wake up in Nicaragua! THAT'S the Cold Marble way.

Anon: What I mean is, that...you took it upon YOURSELF to dub YOURSELF as Scootaloo's partner. Why?

Berry: Besides the obvious answer of "because I damn well can"...Scootaloo's stubborn. She doesn't wanna admit, that she needs help. With her friends fighting family and playing with their clits in the background on Sublime, someone unexpected had to step in. And that's "Cold Marble" Berry Punch! No one saw it coming. Did YOU see it coming?

Anon: I actually did not-

Berry: 'Course ya didn't! You think you know what's gonna happen on Sublime. Every damn scene you've got planned out. Hell, you're probably one of those "critics" that dubbed me an "irresponsible DRUNK."

Anon: Well, you DID pass out in your singles debut last we-

Berry: I understand THAT. I drank too much before my match. It was a bad move. GodDAMN I'm SORRY I've let you down...Mr. Cameraman. What are you gonna do? Put me in time-out? All I can do is watch that young girl's back. Because whether she wants to admit it or NOT...she damn well needs it. Diamond Tiara, her royal bitchiness, and all her little cunty comrades, can go around the Cul-De-Sac, and suck EVERY DAMN dick they want...because the team of Scootaloo...and the TOUGHEST D.O.B. in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation, are gonna make them all wish that their daddies paid a little more attention to them as children. We're gonna walk in to Proving Grounds, RAISE SOME HELL, win the tag team titles, and CELEBRATE! I'll chug a beer..maybe two...maybe three, and I'll order a Pibb Xtra for the little devil herself-and that's all I got to say...about that-PUT IT ON MY TAB! -Struts off-

-As Berry Punch walks away, Anon tugs at his shirt nervously-

*Later*

-Anon walks into Princess Luna, looking to interview her. She's sitting at her desk.-

Luna: Oh...well, hello there, Anon. What brings you into my chamber?

Anon: Hi, Princess. I was just curious about your opinion on the way Lunacy is turning out-

-Anon is interrupted by the male members of the Oddities barging into the office-

Luna: Hang on, Anon...boys. I can probably gather why you're all here. On normal circumstances, I'd ask you to knock, but I know you're all very flustered right now.

Hugh Jelly: You're DAMN right we're flustered! My girlfriend's in the trainer's room right now! What are you going to do about this?!

Luna: What would you four PROPOSE I do?

Dance Fever: Hey, foxy woman...the boys think you should strip that bogue cat Rumble of his title shot...

Luna: -Blushes- I'm afraid we can't do that. Rumble EARNED his match against Overdrive. Not to mention...we're not even sure if Rumble put Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser up to what they did.

Bill Neigh: By my calculations, the chance of Rumble being INNOCENT...is a 1 in 50000000 chance.

Luna: We will talk to Rumble and his group, but do NOT be surprised if the "1" in your calculation proves correct, Bill.

-The Oddities groan-

Luna: We still believe we can present you with a chance at revenge. At Proving Grounds, Midnight will team up with...you Clip Clop, as well as...you, Hugh...to take on the team of Horsepower, Cloudchaser, and Flitter.

-The Oddities cheer-

Dance: Hey, that's bitchinnnnnnnnnn'...

Clip Clop: Thank you, Princess! We're sorry for bothering you!

Luna: Not a problem at all, boys. We'll get this sorted out.

-The Oddities file out of the office one at a time, chatting amongst themselves.-

Luna: -Turns to Anon- Now...could you repeat your question? We will be happy to answer-

-This time, Luna is interrupted by the dramatic entrance of a rolling Star Swirl into her office. He comes in like a tumbleweed, and crashes into the GM's desk-

Star Swirl: Hello, my sweet! -He speaks lovingly as he kips-up to his feet-

Luna: -Blushes- Star Swirl...we have company...-points at Anon-

Star Swirl: -Looks at Anon, and grins- Great! Then the WORLD can know of my demands...

Luna: -Raises an eyebrow- Which are...?

Star Swirl: I demand TELEVISION TIME!

Luna: -Chuckles- Oh, Star Swirl...is that all?

Star Swirl: -Nods repeatedly- I feel my presence would be an ASTOUNDING addition to the weekly telecasts...

Luna: Hmm...-ponders-...we believe we may have a spot for you on television.

Star Swirl: Really? TRULY?

Luna: -Nods- Yes, we most certainly do...it just came to us. We'll have to flesh it out to its full potential. -Looks at Anon- We apologize, Anon. We will have to conduct this interview at a later date. Me and Star Swirl must discuss some things.

Anon: No trouble at all, Princess. I understand. Good day to you, Star Swirl.

Star Swirl: Have a swell night, Anon!

-Anon walks out of the office, wondering what "plans" Luna has for Star Swirl.-


	26. Sublime - 1-19-14

-The Sublime theme plays, pyrotechnics launch, and the crowd goes wild- (You know the drill)  
Dr. Whooves: Welcome ladies in gentlemen to the third edition of Sublime. Tonight we are entering the second stage of the World Fighter's Championship tournament. Eight wrestlers remain but only four will continue to the semi-finals next week.  
Discord: But even the losers get a consolation prize, the top ten wrestlers who failed the tournament get to fight in a Battle Royal for the International Championship at Proving Grounds.  
Dr. Whooves: Let's not forget tonight's main event, a fatal four way between Big MacIntosh, Soarin, Thunderlane, and Steamer to determine who will be the World Brawler's Champion.  
*Redacted Theme*  
-Boos from the crowd as Babs Seed walks down the ramp-  
Discord: And here comes the one who absolutely dominated Apple Bloom in last week's main event.  
Dr. Whooves: Dominated? She would of lost that match if it wasn't for Commander Hurricane's bloody interference.  
Discord: Minor details.  
-Babs Seed climbs into the ring, crowd continues booing-  
Babs Seed: That's right, go ahead and boo. I don't care what anyone thinks about it, I did what I had to do last week. I made my statement and finally earned some respect backstage. Sure Commander Hurricane gave me the opening I needed, but how was that my fault? It's Apple Bloom who bit off more than she could chew, she made enemies she just couldn't prepare for.  
Dr. Whooves: Babs Seed seems to be forgetting it was she who started it.  
*Redacted Theme*  
-The crowd cheers as Sweetie Belle enters the arena-  
Sweetie Belle: You think you're pretty hot stuff don't you? Coming out here and talking like the fight is already over. Well newsflash, you aren't in the green yet. Apple Bloom may be injured until Proving Grounds thanks to last week's match, but you still have me to deal with.  
-Sweetie Belle starts approaching the ring-  
Babs Seed: Pfffftt. I wasn't afraid of her why should I be afraid of you? You saw what happened to Apple Bloom, If I were you I'd just back off now before the same thing happens to me.  
-Sweetie Belle enters the ring-  
Sweetie Belle: Even if the same thing happens to me I'll do one thing Apple Bloom didn't, take you out with me.  
-Sweetie Belle charges at Babs Seed and both end up tumbling over the ropes, they begin brawling outside the ring, Sweetie Bell pins Babs Seed down and starts punching her repeatedly but Babs Seed manages to poke her in the eyes and escape-  
*Redacted Theme*  
Discord: Interrupting a good brawl, Celestia is such a tease.  
Dr. Whooves: Don't you mean GENERAL MANAGER Celestia?  
Discord: Too formal. I know her way too well for that.  
-Babs Seed and Sweetie Belle pause their fight while Celestia speaks-  
Celestia: Far be it from me to interrupt such a good fight, but I'd hate to see a potential match wasted in the early minutes of the show.  
Crowd: WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP*  
Celestia: -Ignoring the crowd- I think facing Sweetie Belle later tonight would be a good warm-up for you Babs Seed.  
Babs Seed: Warm up for what?  
Celestia: Despite being injured, the doctors believe Apple Bloom will recover in time for Proving Grounds, so she has challenged you to a match at the Pay-Per-View, in a steel cage.  
Dr. Whooves: A steel cage match! What a fight for Proving Grounds, but will Apple Bloom be up for the task?  
Discord: Probably not.  
-Celestia exits the ring while the crowd continues chanting "WE WANT DARING!" at her-  
*Commercial*  
*Now trending on Twitter: #DaringRevolution, #SteelCage, #Trollestia*  
*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: Now approaching the ring, from Loneyville, standing five foot, ten inches tall, weighing 137 pounds, Applejack!  
-Applejack walks down the ramp with a basket full of apples, tossing them out to random audience members and getting cheers for it-  
*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: And her opponent, from Loneyville, weighing 140 pounds and standing at six foot, six inches tall, Fluttershy!  
-Fluttershy shyly walks down the ramp once again accompanied by her pets-  
Dr. Whooves: If I were Applejack, I'd keep Fluttershy away from that rabbit. Crazy things happen when she talks to that thing.  
Discord: We all have our secrets to success.  
Match 1: Tournament Match, Applejack vs. Fluttershy  
-The first minute of the match passes with Applejack dominating Fluttershy, who once again starts the match by not fighting back-  
Applejack: Fluttershy, come on pardner, these fans came here for a show. It ain't gonna be very impressive if ya'll don't fight back.  
Fluttershy: B-But I don't want to fight my friends.  
Applejack: Just go with it. Ya'll won't hurt me.  
Fluttershy: If you say so.  
-Fluttershy jumps up and hits *Redacted* on Applejack-  
: Fluttershy out of nowhere!  
*1...2...-Kick out!-*  
*12 Minutes later*  
-Fluttershy has *Redacted* locked in and Applejack is struggling for the ropes-  
Discord: If Applejack was smart she would of taken out Fluttershy when she had the chance, but then again, Applejack isn't smart.  
Dr. Whooves: Well excuse her for trying to make the match more impressive.  
-Applejack manages to reach the ropes and Fluttershy breaks the hold, as soon as Applejack stands Fluttershy goes for a *Redacted* but Applejack counters-  
*Southern Hospitality*  
*1...2...3!*  
Announcer: And here's your winner, advancing to the semi-finals of the World Fighter's Championship tournament, Applejack!  
*Backstage*  
Interviewer: I'm here with the team of Braeburn and Happy Trails. Now, earlier this week on Lunacy EGO launched a devastating series of parodies mocking and discrediting the both of you. What are your thoughts on that?  
Braeburn: *Laughs* Ya'll call that devastatin'? It was just plain ridiculous. Anyone who believed a word of what they were implyin' is dumber than they look.  
Happy Trails: Now we did ask for it with how we insulted them last week, and we're big enough to take a few insults but honestly...we couldn't of been offended by that if we tried. It was just all too stupid.  
Interviewer: Do you have anything to say to EGO in response?  
Braeburn: Just this. If ya'll's fightin' is as bad as ya mockin', you're in for some real troubles.  
*Commercial*  
*A dazzling show of pyrotechnics blast off as Trixie's theme music fills the arena*  
-Trixie walks out, custom microphone in hand, she's met with mostly boos but a few cheers mixed in-  
Trixie: The following match is part of the World Fighter's Championship tournament, now approaching the ring, from the city of Manhattan, standing at a towering five foot, eleven inches tall, and weighing at a tactical 140 pounds, the already certain to be winner of the match, the GRRRRRRRRREEEAAAAAAT AND POWWWERRRRRRRFUULLLLLLL TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIXIE!  
-Trixie walks down the ramp and enters the ring-  
*Do you believe in magic?*  
Announcer: Now approaching the ring, weighing in at 150 pounds, and standing at five foot, eight inches tall, from the town of Loneyville. Pinkie Pie!  
Match 2: Tournament Match, Pinkie Pie vs. Trixie  
*14 minutes later*  
Dr. Whooves: Trixie could be in trouble here, it's so hard to keep track of Pinkie Pie.  
-Pinkie goes for Pinkie Sense, but Trixie counters and takes Pinkie Pie to the ground-  
Dr. Whooves: Whoa! Did she just counter Pinkie Sense?! That move came out of nowhere when we last saw it, what technical skill on display by Trixie.  
-Trixie locks in the Ursa Lock-  
Discord: That's the same move that Trixie used to make Spitfire tap like a baby during her debut match.  
-Pinkie makes a desperate crawl for the ropes but is forced to tap about a minute later-  
Trixie: And the winner of the match, by way of submission, advancing to the semi-finals of the World Fighter's Championship tournament, the GRRREEEAAT AND POWERRRRRRRRFULL TRRRRRRRIIIIIXIE!  
*Now Trending on Twitter: #GreatandPowerfulTrixie #DaringRevolution #WFC Tournament*  
*Commercial*  
*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: Approaching the ring, from Charleston, standing five foot, six inches tall, weighing 128 pounds, Sweet Tooth!  
-Sweet Tooth walks down to the ring getting a minor pop from the crowd-  
*You see me flying through the sky, I see you down below as you walk on by*  
Announcer: And her opponent, from Cloudsdale, weighing 125 pounds, standing five foot, six inches tall. Rainbow Dash!  
-Large amount of cheering as Rainbow Dash sprints down to the ring-  
Match 3: Tournament Match, Sweet Tooth vs. Rainbow Dash  
*Five minutes of high speed destruction by Rainbow Dash later*  
*Sonic Raindrop*  
*1...2...3!*  
Announcer: Here's your winner, Rainbow Dash!  
-Loud cheers-  
Dr. Whooves: Another impressive performance by Rainbow Dash, she may well be on her way to winning this tournament.  
Discord: Just wait until she meets up with Trixie.  
-The ring clears out, about a minute later the theme of Commander Hurricane starts to play, she enters the stage with her usual entourage of guards and her Squire-  
Squire: All present please make respectful way for our mighty and brave leader, the great Commander Hurricane!  
-Commander Hurricane marches down towards the ring, receiving mostly boos but a few distinct cheers-  
Dr. Whooves: Commander Hurricane was booked to face Apple Bloom in this part of the tournament, but Apple Bloom is injured and we STILL haven't received word about any replacement. What's going on here?  
Discord: Maybe Commander Hurricane can face herself.  
Dr. Whooves: You're joking?  
Discord: I never joke.  
Commander Hurricane: Well, well, it seems my weakling opponent to be was unable to withstand the incredible offense dealt to her last week. It appears I have now earned the right to advance in the tournament without an official battle.  
*Redacted Theme*  
Dr. Whooves: Here comes our General Manager to hopefully deal out some justice to the situation.  
Celestia: Now just hold on Commander Hurricane. Nobody else has gotten a freebie in this tournament, and you're nothing special. You DO have a replacement opponent, I've just been keeping her secret up to now. You're opponent in this tournament match will be none other than...  
*Never back down!*  
Celestia: Daring Do!  
-The crowd goes wild, giving Daring Do a huge pop as she runs down the ramp and into the ring-  
-Commander Hurricane looks at Daring Do in annoyance and takes off her metal armor-  
Commander Hurricane: You're going to need more than a room full of admirers peasant.  
Match 4: Tournament Match, Commander Hurricane vs. Daring Do  
*17 minutes later, Commander Hurricane and Daring Do have both already survived one of the other's finishers*  
-Daring Do goes for a flying kick but Commander Hurricane catches her in mid-air and slams her down hard onto the mat-  
Dr. Whooves: Commander Hurricane has a reputation as a cheater, but it seems she has real power to use when she needs it.  
Discord: The best warriors have brains and brawn, she only uses the heavy artillery when it's necessary.  
-Commander Hurricane picks Daring Do up and hits *REDACTED* on her-  
*1...2...-Kick-out!-*  
Dr. Whooves: Daring Do is just not willing to let her debut end in a loss.  
-Commander Hurricane starts stomping on Daring Do in rage, but Daring Do manages to catch her foot before one of those stomps and trips her, then after a series of moves Daring Do climbs the turnbuckle and hits *REDACTED* on Commander Hurricane-  
Dr. Whooves: This could be it!  
*1...2...-Kick-out!-*  
-One of Commander Hurricane's guards begins to distract the ref-  
Discord: Commander Hurricane still has a back-up plan.  
-Commander Hurricane shoves Daring Do away and slides out of the ring, grabbing a piece of armor-  
Dr. Whooves: Oh God, it's going to be just like what happened to Nurse Redheart...  
-Commander Hurricane enters the ring and prepares to strike Daring Do with the armor, but Daring Do uses some kind of martial art kick to knock the armor flying straight into Commander Hurricane's face, she falls to the ground, knocked out cold, most the crowd cheers, but there are a few boos mixed in-  
Dr. Whooves: Daring Do just used Commander Hurricane's own cheap tactic against her!  
Discord: No such thing as a cheap tactic. All is fair in the ring, including turnabout.  
-Daring Do goes for a pin as the ref turns his attention back to the match-  
*1...2...3!*  
Announcer: Here's your winner, Daring Do!  
-Loud cheers fill the arena, and chants of "DARING DARING DARING" are heard-  
Dr. Whooves: It looks like we have a new contender in this tournament, and she has both the momentum and crowd on her side.  
*Commercial*  
*Now Trending on Twitter: #WeHaveDaring! #CommanderHurricaneOverthrown*  
*Backstage*  
-Photo Finish and Pretty Vision are traveling down the hallway when they encounter Aloe and Lotus Blossom-  
Photo Finish: What do the two of you want?  
Aloe: We just wanted to thank you for your help last week. We don't really like winning like that, but we've had some bad luck lately...gotta take what you can get.  
Lotus: And to show our gratitude, we wanted to see if you two were interested in a FREE spa treatment!  
Pretty Vision: Oooooh, I'd love a spa treatment!  
Photo Finish: No! We do not accept gifts from our lesser opponents.  
Pretty Vision: *Frowns* Awww...  
-Photo Finish and Pretty Vision continue walking, leaving Aloe and Lotus looking confused-  
Lotus: How could ANYONE resist a free spa treatment?  
*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one-fall, approaching the ring, from Loneyville, standing five foot, five inches tall, weighing in at 130 pounds, Sweetie Belle!  
-The crowd cheers as Sweetie Belle walks towards the ring, a determined look on her face-  
*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: And her opponent, standing at five foot, five inches tall, weighing in at 138 pounds, from Manhattan, Babs Seed!  
-Babs Seed ignores the crowds boos as she heads down the ramp to meet Sweetie Belle in the ring-  
Match 5: Babs Seed vs. Sweetie Belle  
*11 minutes later*  
-Sweetie Belle has Babs Seed trapped in the turnbuckle and is raining down punches, after catching one Babs Seed pushes Sweetie Belle away and subtly removes the turnbuckle padding, when Sweetie Belle charges at her again Babs Seed steps out of the way, causing Sweetie Belle to run straight into the exposed turnbuckle, Sweetie Belle falls to the ground-  
-Babs Seed drags Sweetie Belle to the center of the ring and pins her-  
*1...2...3!*  
Dr. Whooves: She's almost a big of a cheater as Commander Hurricane.  
Discord: Doesn't it just bring a tear to your eye?  
-Loud boos-  
Announcer: Here is your winner, Babs Seed!  
-Babs Seed spends the next minute kicking and stomping on Sweetie Belle-  
Babs Seed: I hope you're watching this Apple Bloom. -Points at Sweetie Belle- That's going to be you after our match at Proving Grounds, you better not even show up.  
Dr. Whooves: I sure hope Babs Seed gets what she deserves at Proving Grounds, but enough of that for now, we have our main event, the fatal four way for the World Brawler's Championship, up next.  
*Commercial*  
*The sound of moving steam train fills the arena*  
Announcer: The following battle is a fatal-four-way match, and it is for the World Brawler's Championship, entering first, making his way to the ring..from Denver, weighing in at 217 pounds, standing six foot, one inch tall, Steamer!  
-Steamer emerges from backstage dressed in a 19th century train conductor's outfit-  
Discord: Oh I wonder who the jobber in this match is going to be.  
Dr. Whooves: Give the man a bloody chance.  
Discord: I don't give chances, you have to earn them.  
*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: Now entering the ring, accompanied to the ring by Spitfire, from Cloudsdale, weighing at 220 pounds and standing six foot, one inch tall. Soarin!

*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: From Loneyville, weighing in at 275 pounds and standing six foot, eight inches tall, Big MacIntosh!  
*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: Now approaching the ring, from Loneyville, weighing in at 218 pounds and standing five foot, eleven inches tall, Thunderlane!  
-Thunderlane casually jogs down the ramp, occasionally high-fiving a fan or two along the way-  
Main Event: World Brawler's Championship, Fatal-Four-Way, Steamer vs. Big MacIntosh vs. Soarin vs. Thunderlane  
-20 minutes later-  
-Soarin and Thunderlane have both been knocked out of the ring, Big MacIntosh goes for a pin on Steamer before Thunderlane jumps back in out of nowhere and breaks the pin-  
Dr. Whooves: Thunderlane saving Steamer on that one.  
Discord: I think it was more Thunderlane saving Thunderlane.  
-Big MacIntosh rises to his feet and glares at Thunderlane-  
Dr. Whooves: Uh oh...this isn't going to be pretty.  
-Big MacIntosh goes for a clothesline, but do to height difference Thunderlane easily ducks under it and gives Big MacIntosh a hard kick to the knee, forcing him into kneeling position for a moment, Thunderlane takes advantage of this and hits *Thunderstruck*-  
*1...2...3!*  
Announcer: Here's your winner, and the World Brawler's Champion, Thunderlane!  
Dr. Whooves: What a debut for Thunderlane, not only did he win the title on his first match he also pinned Big MacIntosh. Very impressive.  
Discord: Looks like time's running out. We'll see you all next week where hopefully we'll have a bit more chaos.  
-The show ends with Thunderlane celebrating and showing off his new title in the ring-  
Match Results-  
Match 1: Fluttershy vs. Applejack Applejack won  
Match 2: Pinkie Pie vs. Trixie Trixie won  
Match 3: Rainbow Dash vs. Sweet Tooth Rainbow Dash won  
Match 4: Commander Hurricane vs. Daring Do Daring Do won  
Match 5: Babs Seed vs. Sweetie Belle Babs Seed won  
Main Event: World Brawler's Championship, Fatal-Four-Way, Steamer vs. Big MacIntosh vs. Soarin vs. Thunderlane Thunderlane won  
Tournament Status:  
Sweet Tooth, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Commander Hurricane eliminated  
Applejack, Trixie, Rainbow Dash, and Daring Do moving on to semi-finals.  
Proving Grounds Matches so far:  
World Fighter's Championship: ? vs. ?  
World Brawler's Championship: Thunderlane vs. ?  
Sublime Tag Team Championship: Beauty Shot vs. Aloe and Lotus Blossom  
International Championship: Ten Woman Battle Royal: Commander Hurricane vs. Pinkie Pie vs. Fluttershy vs. Sweet Tooth vs. Cheerilee vs. Inkie Pie vs. Blinkie Pie vs. Spitfire vs. ? vs. ?  
Steel Cage Match: Apple Bloom vs. Babs Seed  
Combos of Carnage Championship: EGO vs. Braeburn and Happy Trails (Inter-brand Match)


	27. Title Rankings - Week 3

Women's Eternal World Championship:

Champion: Lightning Dust  
1. Twilight Sparkle (Last Week: 1) =  
2. Cadance (Last Week: 4) ^  
3. Scootaloo (Last Week: 2) v  
4. Colgate (Last Week: 9) ^  
5. Rarity (Last Week: 3) v  
6. Sunset Shimmer (Last Week: 5) v  
7. Berry Punch (Last Week: N/A) ^  
8. Diamond Tiara (Last Week: 7) v  
9. Turf (Last Week: EIGHT) v  
10. Bon Bon (Last Week: N/A) ^

World Fighters Championship:

Champion: To Be Decided  
1. Daring Do (Last Week: N/A) ^  
2. Rainbow Dash (Last Week: 3) ^  
3. Trixie (Last Week: 2) v  
4. Applejack (Last Week: 5) ^  
5. Babs Seed (Last Week: EIGHT) ^  
6. Commander Hurricane (Last Week: 1) v  
7. Sweet Tooth (Last Week: 6) v  
8. Fluttershy (Last Week: 7) v  
9. Pinkie Pie (Last Week: 4) v  
10. Apple Bloom (Last Week: 9) v

Champion of Carnage:

Champion: To Be Decided  
1. Overdrive (Last Week: 2) ^  
2. Rumble (Last Week: 1) v  
3. Neon Lights (Last Week: 10) ^  
4. DJ Zema Ion (Last Week: N/A) ^  
5. Fancy Pants (Last Week: 5) =  
6. Gustave Le Grand (Last Week: 6) =  
7. Flash Sentry (Last Week: 3) v  
8. Shining Armor (Last Week: 4) v  
9. Snips (Last Week: 7) v  
10. Snails (Last Week: EIGHT) v

World Brawlers Championship:

Champion: Thunderlane  
1. Big MacIntosh (Last Week: 1) =  
2. Soarin (Last Week: 6) ^  
3. Steamer (Last Week: N/A) ^  
4. Braeburn (Last Week: 2) v  
5. Happy Trails (Last Week: 3) v  
6. Hoity Toity (Last Week: 4) v  
7. Prince Blueblood (Last Week: 5) v  
8. Squire (Last Week: 7) v  
9. Caramel (Last Week: EIGHT) v  
10. Doughnut Joe (Last Week: 9) v

Crater Chick Championship:

Champion: To Be Decided  
1. Cadance (Last Week: N/A) ^  
2. Sunset Shimmer (Last Week: N/A) ^  
3. Berry Punch (Last Week: EIGHT) ^  
4. Bon Bon (Last Week: N/A) ^  
5. Colgate (Last Week: 2) v  
6. Sparkler (Last Week: 3) v  
7. Midnight Strike (Last Week: 4) v  
8. Cloudchaser (Last Week: 9) ^  
9. Flitter (Last Week: 10) ^  
10. Silver Spoon (Last Week: 7) v

International Championship:

Champion: To Be Decided  
1. Commander Hurricane (Last Week: N/A) ^  
2. Pinkie Pie (Last Week: N/A) ^  
3. Fluttershy (Last Week: N/A) ^  
4. Sweet Tooth (Last Week: N/A) ^  
5. Spitfire (Last Week: 4) v  
6. Cheerilee (Last Week: N/A) ^  
7. Inkie Pie (Last Week: 10) ^  
8. Blinkie Pie (Last Week: N/A) ^  
9. Photo Finish (Last Week: 5) v  
10. Pretty Vision (Last Week: 6) v

Chick Combo Championships:

Champions: To Be Decider  
1. Scootaloo & Berry Punch (Last Week: N/A) ^  
2. Silver Spoon & Turf (Last Week: 6) ^  
3. Cadance & Twilight Sparkle (Last Week: 3) =  
4. Lyra & Bon Bon (Last Week: 7) ^  
5. Flitter & Cloudchaser (Last Week: EIGHT)  
6. Twilight Sparkle & Rarity (Last Week: 1) v  
7. Diamond Tiara & Turf (Last Week: 4) v  
8. Diamond Tiara & Silver Spoon (Last Week: 4) v  
9. Sunset Shimmer & Lightning Dust (Last Week: 2)

Sublime Tag Team Championships:

Champions: Beauty Shot (Pretty Vision & Photo Finish)  
1. Applejack & Sweet Tooth (Last Week: 4) ^  
2. Aloe & Lotus Blossom (Last Week: 1) v  
3. The Ghost Girls (Inkie Pie & Blinkie Pie) (Last Week: 3) =  
4. Octavia & Vinyl Scratch (Last Week: 2) v  
5. Applejack & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 5) =  
6. Applejack & Red Delicious (Last Week: 7) ^  
7. Applejack & Golden Delicious (Last Week: EIGHT) ^  
8. Sweetie Belle & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 6) v  
9. Red Delicious & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 9) =  
10. Golden Delicious & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 10) =

Combo of Carnage Tag Team Championships:

Champions: To Be Decided  
1. EGO (Fancy Pants & Gustave Le Grand) (Last Week: 2) ^  
2. Braeburn & Happy Trails (Last Week: 1) v  
3. DJ Zema Ion & Neon Lights (Last Week: 7) ^  
4. BroMans (Flash Sentry & Shining Armor) (Last Week: 3) v  
5. Horsepower & Rumble (Last Week: 4) v  
6. SLIME (Snips & Snails) (Last Week: 5) v  
7. Canterlot Class (Hoity Toity & Prince Blueblood) (Last Week: 6) v  
8. Clip Clop & Hugh Jelly (Last Week: N/A) ^  
9. Hoops & Dumb-Bell (Last Week: EIGHT) v  
10. Couch-Mate (Davenport & Check Mate) (Last Week: 9) v


	28. Smarks Discuss - Week 3

On Lunacy:

8yearoldboy: Yay Twilight one again! ^_^ one week until Proving Grouns where she BEAT Lightning Dummy for her title! (+48 like this post.)

chrisurack (in reply to): I'm only liking because I find your gimmick here HILARIOUS.

Nomad (in reply to chrisurack): What if he's really 8, though?

8yearoldboy (in reply to Nomad): ill be 9 in 2 months +_+

gooseface (in reply to Nomad): Pretty sure he's a 35 year old virgin...-sigh-...like all of us...

notatroll (in reply to gooseface): lol FAT FAGG0T. (+85 like this post.)

gooseface (in reply to notatroll): The words you say speak to me in so many ways, nat...

notatroll (in reply to gooseface): I'm like Morgan Freeman but more white. (+57 like this post.)

James Loney: Rarity vs Colgate...INCREDIBLE. (+1,875 like this post.)

Buttsniff: Rarity vs Colgate was SO damn great...like, seriously. When are they going to be in the ring again? Colgate's gimmick sucks but I don't give a shit WHAT gimmick she has as long as she keeps having matches like THAT. (+498 like this post.)

ZeRedSpyy: Gustave Le Grand is magnifique.

Bluchu: Twilight's promos continue to suck ass, but she's still a great wrestler...this makes me indifferent on my opinion of her...

Switzerland (in reply to): Go NEUTRAL! (+INFINITE like this post.)

Lark: Overdrive's vignette was pretty cool, I'll admit, but it doesn't change the fact that he has a LOT to work on. Give the title to Rumble. He's got personality, and the little we've seen of his ring work is WAY BETTER than Overdrive's. (+732 like this post.)

Hick: Ah found Gustave and Fanceh Pantsy's segments in poor taste, y'all...

notatroll (in reply to): lol shut up hicks have no souls. (+537 like this post.)

Hick (in reply to): Ah do TOO have shoes, pardner... (+238 like this post.)

notatroll (in reply to): damn...good one.

The Awkward Reviewer: Is this going to be a trend forever? Three episodes of Lunacy, and all were STELLAR. Despite how professional I may seem, my type of comedy is toilet humor, and THAT'S what EGO gave us...it was beautiful. Speaking of beautiful, how about the WRESTLING? Clip Clop and Bill Neigh impressed, Midnight impressed with her bumping skills, Cloudchaser impressed with her...uhhh, assets, Colgate and Rarity put on a CLINIC, and the tag team main event featured four of the best workers in the EWF, at least by MY own opinion as a near one month fan of the product. Twilight's promos are still cheesy, and I still find them entertaining. Berry Punch is AWESOME, and so is Scootaloo. They're an odd-ball tag team, but the GOOD kind. Diamond Tiara, even in injury, still plays a key part in her role as a HUGE antagonist, and she's WONDERFUL at it. I can't see her EVER being a face. Looking forward to Proving Grounds. The stage is set for what looks to be an INCREDIBLE first Pay Per View.

Sethisto: Trixe, oh Trixie...where for art thou Trixie...?

On Sublime:

EVERYBODY: YES! DARING DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! -JIZZ ERUPTIONS- DHFDSGFHVSDFVBSFNVSDFNVDFVSFVSFNVNFV (+INFINITE LIKED ALL OF THESE POSTS.)

Trollestia: LOL happy? (+4,326 like this post.)

fred2266 (in reply to): Yes, we are! THANK YOU! Now...about Commander Hurricane being world champion...

EWF Creative Team (in reply to fred2266): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAno.

Markiplier: Babs Seed is the swaggiest bitch in town. #CantTouchDatShit.

notatroll (in reply to): #YoureAFagg0t (+583 like this post.)

BlarneyStone: Think about this guys: Discord...and Ahuizotl on commentary at Proving Grounds... (+2,483 like this post.)

neatone2222 (in reply to): Commentary Chaos...

konyy2k: YES! Now we know, if we cheer loud enough, we can get the EWF to give us ANYTHING we want! So, what do we want, guys?

TruthSpeaker (in reply to): You to shut the fuck up. We get it, you started this whole thing. The company hasn't even been around for a MONTH. They threw us a bone, and how can we even be sure they didn't plan for Daring Do to debut on the third episode of Sublime from the beginning? It's not like they were going to have her cut promos FOREVER...but, if they DID plan to have her debut at another time, and just decided to give us what we want, I respect the HELL out of the EWF for it...but SERIOUSLY...let them do what they want. Nobody has been complaining about anything except Overdrive, which is reasonable. That's ONE thing...just give them a chance, and whatever you want, WILL come true. You don't have to spam their shows with this shit. It was cool for Daring Do, but it may not be cool the other 100 times around. (+9,284 like this post.)

Lugnuts (in reply to TruthSpeaker): Preach.

The Awkward Reviewer: Once again, just like Lunacy, Sublime puts on another STELLAR performance. The excitement was THROUGH THE ROOF tonight. Daring Do's debut may have been a bit predictable, but predictability is good at times. This was one of those times, and I thought she and Commander Hurricane had the "Rarity vs Colgate" match of the night. Two of my favorite characters duking it out? I didn't know WHO to cheer for, so I just cheered for both. Rainbow Dash continues to impress with her amazing Ariel offense, and Trixie is still the best heel on the show. There's no denying. Thunderlane winning was a shocker, as I figured Big MacIntosh, but that was a great match, so I guess I really didn't care WHO won. Either way, Sublime and Lunacy, and the EWF as a whole, OFFICIALLY OWN my life...

Sethisto: PLEASE LET TRIXIE WIN THE TITLE. (+873 like this post.)

ANONYMOUS: ...

WE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN...


	29. Lunacy - 1-22-14

_The beautiful people...OOOOOHHHHH..._

-Pyro shoots out from the ground and into the air. The fans go wild as another episode of Lunacy has commenced blah blah blah this is the same shit every week-

Ahuizotl: We are BACK on the air, for the LAST episode of Lunacy until our first ever Pay Per View, Proving Grounds!

Garble: The symbolism behind that name is uncanny. Proving Grounds is EVERYBODY's chance-not ONLY the superstars, but the General Managers, cameramen, interviewers, announcers-

Ahuizotl: And of course, boy...the COMMENTATORS -winks-

Garble: -Grins- Of course! It's the ENTIRE Equestrian Wrestling Federation's chance to PROVE ourselves as the ULTIMATE means of sporting entertainment going forward.

Ahuizotl: And we couldn't have started it off any better, as Proving Grounds is looking to be PHENOMENAL as we speak!

_So together we are lost on the moon..._ -The crowd cheers-

Garble: We'll run down the card LATER, but for now...holy crap...this is...odd...

Ahuizotl: I know what you mean. We are actually STARTING off the show with the general manager of Lunacy, Princess Luna! Odd indeed, considering how she usually has to come out after two superstars are bickering or fighting.

Garble: Looks like she beat anybody who wanted to speak their mind to the punch. Let's see what she has to say...

-Luna is handed a mic, as the crowd thrusts into chants of "Luna! Luna! Luna! Luna! Luna!" Luna smiles at this.-

Luna: We thank you for your embraceable enthusiasm, and we thank you fans for following Lunacy as loyally as you have so far. The Equestrian Wrestling Federation is closing in on one month as a company very soon, and we could not be MORE proud to bring you the very best that my talented roster has to offer, and I know my sister would say the same. -Cheers- With a new month approaching, and the first pay per view in Equestrian Wrestling Federation history approaching even FASTER, however...things must chance, such as life itself. The EWF is STILL, to this DAY, looking for company roles to fill, and, per our request, the Equestrian Wrestling Federation has filled a role they so DESPERATELY needed...an Executive Talent Relations officer. Why an executive? Well, Filthy Rich, in addition to being the Chairman of the EWF, also is responsible for making sure the talented individuals that make up the EWF rosters have a fair and balanced talent. If you know anything about business, you know that contracts end. When a contract is about to end, Mr. Rich must negotiate with the superstar to form the perfect contract for them, so they can continue working for him. Again, if you know anything about business...it's an EXTREMELY tedious job. Mr. Rich has enough on his plate as it is juggling through the day to day operations of his company, and so, he needs others to do the things he simply can't do. And so, we took it upon myself, to call upon...an old friend -blushes-, and see if he could be of any service to Mr. Rich, and I'm pleased to announce that he CAN, and WILL be! So, without anymore stalling, we introduce to YOU...the NEW...Executive Vice President, of Talent Relations...my DEAR friend, Star Swirl! -The crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: Oh my! I must say that I'm SHOCKED.

Garble: I-is she SERIOUS? This goof? What has he done to deserve this kind of power?!

-Star Swirl comes out in a suit that is adorned by numerous crescent moons. His signature beard has been trimmed down to a mere goatee. He waves at the fans over and over again and casually walks to the ring as Luna applauds.-

Ahuizotl: He's an old friend of Luna's, boy, that's been well documented! For those that aren't aware, this is Star Swirl the Bearded. He had been appearing on the past 3 episodes of Backstage Fallout, and let's just say, he's a bit out there...

Garble: He looks pretty-much like the average day corporate suck-up to me right about now. His awesome bush isn't even there anymore! Why? That was the only redeeming quality that guy had!

-Star Swirl gets in the ring, and hugs Luna. He is handed his own microphone.-

Crowd: Star Swirl! Star Swirl! Star Swirl! Star Swirl! Star Swirl!

Star Swirl: -Grins widely- My name...is Mr. Star Swirlanaitis...-some fans laugh out loud at the ridiculous name-...I am the NEW...Executive Vice President, of Talent Relations, and yes, Swirlanaitis IS my real last name. I'm using it to sound more professional. It's okay, it's fine, get it out of your system...

Crowd: THAT IS FU-NNY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT IS FU-NNY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT IS FU-NNY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Swirlanaitis: You may know me from Backstage Fallout, the show that catches up with the superstars of Lunacy after the most recent show. I would run around, stealing cakes, kidnapping cameramen, anything I could do to get some time on the camera myself. I guess you could say I'm an attention hog, and my CRAVING to be on national television...led me to Princess Luna. I asked, well, more like DEMANDED if she had a spot on the roster for me, and thankfully she DID. It wasn't really the spot I was expecting, though. I was expecting a commentator-

Garble: Oh thank God he didn't get that spot...

Swirlanaitis: Or best of all, a WRESTLER! -Flexes- But, instead...I got a job in...management. It surprised me, but I'm a pretty organized guy, doing a bunch of paperwork everyday doesn't faze me, so I took it! And now...I get to be on TELEVISION! I have an OFFICE! It smells like lettuce, it's GREAT! And it's a pretty easy job to top it all off. I haven't had to do it yet, but I understand what my job entails. Our talent scout goes out and finds the newest or fastest rising stars he can find in the wide wide world of professional wrestling, and when he's comfortable with his findings, because our talent scout is the very BEST at what he does, so he KNOWS what talent is GOOD talent for the EWF. When he finds the best talent he can round up, he sends them to ME. All I have to do is WORK with these young men and women, and strike up a deal we both feel is going to benefit us; them and the company. After their name is plastered on a contract in black-as-black ink, they get sent to our developmental training facility, which hasn't quite opened up yet, but we're working on it. When it's officially open, however, our new talent gets sent their, where they work on their wrestling skills. When we feel they've worked hard enough, and have gotten a LOT better than they were before, we'll call them up to the main roster, and give them the chance to wrestle...in front of ALL of you. When that time comes, it's up to THEM to impress you, just like they impressed us. So, essentially, I am responsible for bringing the fans of the EWF the greatest, most exciting, and most unique wrestlers we can find. -Crowd cheers- So, sooner or later, you can all expect not only on LUNACY, but if Ms. Celestia is interested, or SUBLIME, some FRESH superstars, that just like the whole other crops of talented men and women that you've already witnessed, are hungry, dedicated, and determined to win your approval, or succeed beyond ANY means. And THAT's something to look forward to...now, along with this new position of mine, in my contract, it is stated I have the power to make matches...correct, Luna?

Luna: That is correct, yes. As long as I approve them.

Swirlanaitis: In that case, this is going to be an EXCELLENT show for you all! Tonight, after 23 minutes of BREATHTAKING action last week, I am going to give you...the rematch: Rarity, will take on Colgate -Crowd already begins cheering-...HOLD ON! In a 30 MINUTE...IRON. WOMAN. MATCH! -Crowd explodes with cheers-

Ahuizotl: That's incredible!

Luna: And for those that do not know, the rules of the Iron Woman Match are simple: We put 30 minutes up on the clock. Whichever superstar has the most decisions, be-it gained by pinfall, submission, count-out, or disqualification when the 30 minute time limit expires, is the winner...I accept. -Crowd continues cheering-

Swirlanaitis: That's not ALL, though...tonight on Lunacy, we will be debuting ANOTHER NEW match-type for all our MALE fans...-the men in the audience whoop-...it is called, the SAUNA MATCH.

Garble: SOUNDS GREAT!

Swirlanaitis: I will leave your imaginations to ponder what exactly the rules of THAT match could be...

Luna: I know what they are, and I accept! And, just as promised, we will be having the first EVER championship DEBATE tonight. All of the Superstars of Lunacy will be lined up outside the ring, and they will have the opportunity to ask the Eternal Women's World Champion, Lightning Dust, and the challenger to her title, Twilight Sparkle, a question. The two will then debate, and the superstars will decide who is correct.

Swirlanaitis: -Nods- I'd accept that, but I'm not in the position of power you are...-chuckles with Luna- Enjoy your show, everybody! -The crowd cheers as Luna and Swirlanaitis leave the ring.-

Ahuizotl: OhohohoHO! Proving Grounds is sure to be nothing short of SPECTACULAR, but let's not discount what we'll be getting tonight on Monday Night Lunacy! The rematch between Rarity and Colgate, which is set to be a 30 MINUTE Iron Woman Match, this "Sauna" match, the championship debate, and who KNOWS what'll happen next?!

Garble: I'm looking forward to that damn SAUNA match! Apparently we'll be given the rules to explain to the crowd before the match starts, but I have a STRONG FEELING about how this match is going to play out...and I hope to the Hormonal POPE that I am right!

Ahuizotl: Before any of that, however, let's take it to the ring, for our FIRST match of the evening...

_Colorful rainbows catch my eyes, when I see you fly across the sky..._ -Crowd cheers immensely-

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for OOONNEE FALL! Introducing FIRST...accompanied to the ring by "MARBLE COLD" Berry Punch! From LOONNEYYVVILLEE, weighing in at 118 POOOUUUNNDDSSS...SCOOOOOOOTAAAALLLLOOOOOO!

Ahuizotl: And what BETTER way to kick off the action here tonight on Lunacy, then with the biggest DAREDEVIL on Lunacy!

Garble: Berry Punch?

Ahuizotl: No, SHE's the biggest bad-ass...SCOOTALOO is the biggest daredevil!

Garble: And you're saying SCOOTALOO can't be a bad-ass, too?

Ahuizotl: NO! I-...I just mean...

Garble: Look man, you don't have to be such a dick. Everyone has a little bit of bad-ass inside of them...except YOU.

Ahuizotl: WE'RE NOT GETTING INTO THIS!

-Pause-

Garble: So, 'Zotl...what'd you think of Daring Do's debut on Sublime last week? -Smirks-

Ahuizotl: SHE CHEATED!

Garble: -Chuckles- Ooooofff COURSE she diiiidd...

Ahuizotl: At least now those stupid crowd chants can stop...

Crowd: WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Ahuizotl: WHHHHHYYYYYY!? YOU HAVE HER, YOU SMARKS!

Garble: What's wrong with wanting the woman again? She's bangin'.

Ahuizotl: MY GOD WHY IS SCOOTALOO'S ENTRANCE SO LONG?!

-Berry Punch works the four turnbuckles, as Scootaloo slides into the ring and jumps on the turnbuckle diagonal of Berry Punch. She does a backflip off of it to cheers of approval from the crowd.-

Ahuizotl: These two should make a very imposing tag team in 6 nights. Odd, but imposing.

Garble: We already know Berry Punch has gave her WORD that she will watch Scootaloo's back, because it's clear nobody else will. That's why she's out here tonight, after all, because Scootaloo is going to be stared down by THREE of the baddest bitches in wrestling...

_Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful, don't hate me cuz I speak true..._ -There are many boos from the crowd, but still some audible cheers-

Announcer: Aaaaaanddd HER OPPONENT! Accompanied to the ring by Silver Spoon, and Diamond Tiara! From LONNEYYVVIILLLEE...weighing in at 122 POOOUUNNDSSS...TURF!

Ahuizotl: This will be our first look at the...vocal one of the Mean Girls, Turf, in singles action.

Garble: Oh how I love ALL of the Mean Girls...Turf to me, though, is the wildcard. She doesn't give a damn WHAT people think about her opinions, she'll say them anyway!

Ahuizotl: Last week, one of her "besties", Silver Spoon, lost a match to Berry Punch, and Turf was the victim of a Bar Tab finishing move. Turf has been wanting to get her hands on Berry Punch for a WEEK now because of that, but she'll have to settle for Scootaloo instead here tonight.

Garble: And Turf doesn't mind that ONE bit, believe me. Berry Punch is FRESH MEAT to the Mean Girls, but Scootaloo? They've been messing with her for MANY years now, and they don't seem to be tired of it yet...

Match 1: Scootaloo w/ Berry Punch vs Turf w/ Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara

Garble: -With glee- Oh goody! It seems we're being joined here on commentary with Silver Spoon and -kisses Diamond's hand- Diamond Tiara! HELLO, girls! -Diamond and Silver Spoon sit down next to Garble, putting their headsets on-

Silver Spoon: Ugh! Has anyone else like, USED these before? The LAST thing I want is someone's DISGUSTING sweat all over my ears...

Ahuizotl: I'm sure they were attended to your liking...

Garble: Diamond, do you need something to lay your neck against? Are you feeling alright?

Diamond: The fact that this swivel chair isn't LACED with sparkles is the only thing causing me pain right now...I'm actually getting better at a RAPID pace, THANK YOU for asking...-glares at Ahuizotl-

Ahuizotl: No offense Diamond, but I'm actually interested in seeing Turf compete. It's the first time we've seen her in this atmosphere, IN FACT...NONE of you ladies have won ANY match here in the EWF...

Silver Spoon: -Scrunches her nose- It's only because everyone else in the back is JEALOUS of how much prettier and better WRESTLERS we are than them...everybody in that battle royal went after US, and THAT'S why poor Diamond got hurt!

Ahuizotl: If you ladies were "better wrestlers" than all the others...wouldn't that make you UNDEFEATED? You haven't even won A MATCH. You're DEFEATED every week.

Diamond: -Scoff- Look, monkey-boy, the girls have been under a LOT of stress recently. They have to fetch me ice-packs to soothe my battle-wound! They can't eat because they have to FEED ME, and they can't sleep because they have to FLUFF MY PILLOW! It's been SO hard on them...they're such dolls...-kisses Silver Spoon on the forehead, which Silver Spoon drools a bit at.-

Garble: Awww...I'm glad you're getting better, Diamond.

Diamond: AS you should be...

Ahuizotl: Oh please...

-12 minutes later-

-Turf runs at Scootaloo, who is groggy against the ropes. Scootaloo ducks and launches Turf over the ropes and outside by the announce table.-

Diamond: UGH! -Beats the table- COME ON, TURF!

Silver Spoon: Yeah, like...Eye of the Tiger and all those other cliche boxing movie tropes!

Ahuizotl: You know...these fans can chant "DARING DO" all they want! SCOOTALOO is FAR better than that Stunt-Woman! She's "Daring Scoo!"

Garble: PFFFFTTTTTTTTTT! WHAT?! -Busting a gut- THE HELL DID YOU CALL HER?!

Ahuizotl: DARING SCOO! THE BETTER VERSION OF DARING DO!

Garble: -Wiping tears out of his eyes- Are you hearing this, girls?!

Diamond: -Concentrated, with her hands clasped and her head resting on them- I'll agree with you BOTH on one thing...Daring Do is NOTHING special. The fans should be chanting "DIAMOND TIARA" EVERY week. But THAT is the most IDIOTIC nickname I've EVER heard! There is nothing "Daring" about...BLEH...Scootaloo...

-Scootaloo bounces off the ropes-

Ahuizotl: Well, unlike Daring Do, Scootaloo is about to wow this cro- -Scootaloo sunset flips over the top rope as the crowd's anticipation rises to its fullest potential.- OOWWWWDDDDDD! -Turf moves out of the way at the last second, sending Scootaloo crashing tail-bone first into the announce table. The crowd "OOOOH's", as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon look on in near orgasmic delight.-

Diamond: -Cackling- So much for "Daring"! Now she knows what it feels like to be in pain beyond all belief!

Turf: -To the crowd, pointing at Scootaloo- IS THIS YOUR GIRL?! HUH?! WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR GIRL NOW?! SHE'S MY BITCH UNTIL I'M DONE WITH HER! -Turf latches her hands onto Scootaloo's hair, and throws her into the ring. Berry Punch runs at Turf, but misses Turf just as she gets in the ring. Silver Spoon throws off her headset, grabs Berry, and Irish whips her sternum first into the announce table. The crowd boos.-

Ahuizotl: Oh! There was no reason for that...

Diamond: -Getting up- That's why the H.B.I.C.'s RUN this whole fucking thing! REMEMBER IT! -Throws her headset at Ahuizotl, and goes over to kick Berry in the stomach as she's still on the ground.-

Garble: Sure is a little angel, isn't she...

Ahuizotl: She sure has a tight grip on YOUR ball-sack if you believe that...

-Turf picks up Scootaloo in the ring, and executes *REDACTED MOVE* on her. She hooks her leg-

1...2...3! -Crowd boos-

Garble: Turf did it! You SHOULDN'T have brought it up, 'Zotl because Turf just scored the Mean Girls' FIRST win...in the EWF!

Ahuizotl: And she did it without ANY help from her "besties", so I'll give the young lady credit for that...but MAN! The Mean Girls...that fits them to a TEE.

Crowd: FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF!

Turf: THE MORE YOU CHANT...THE MORE WE FUCK HER UP! YOU CHOICE!

-Diamond gets in the ring as the chant cease, but she still points to Scootaloo.-

Ahuizotl: Oh...what more can they do to this poor girl...?

Garble: Diamond will NOT stop until Scootaloo KNOWS who runs the show around here...

Ahuizotl: Diamond's delusional. Silver Spoon's delusional. Turf's delusional, because NONE OF THEM do!

-Silver Spoon tosses Scootaloo out of the ring as Turf lifts up Berry Punch and drops her sternum first on the top of the announce table. Silver Spoon turns Scootaloo around, and executes a back suplex on the barricade, which works over Scootaloo's tailbone some more. Scootaloo falls to the ground in agonizing  
screams.-

Turf: CHANT YOUR WORTHLESS SHIT NOW! IT WILL NEVER SAVE HER!

Crowd: SCOO-TA-LOO! SCOO-TA-LOO! SCOO-TA-LOO! SCOO-TA-LOO!

Turf: -Shaking her head- You asked for it, then...-at Silver Spoon- SET HER UP!

Ahuizotl: Why won't they just walk away?!

Garble: Because they CAN'T, dammit! They would've if the crowd would just shut up!

Ahuizotl: They're just trying to show their favorite superstar that they give a damn when they're in pain!

Garble: Yet they can't chant for Daring Do just because they want to see her?

-Silver Spoon turns Scootaloo around, and places her against the barricade. She holds her there as Turf runs towards her, and she lets go when Turf is close enough to deliver a running dropkick that is RIGHT ON TARGET to Scootaloo's tailbone.-

Garble: Now Scootaloo knows what it feels like to be HURT...BADLY. Diamond Tiara can only PLEAD that she is injured!

Ahuizotl: Unlike Diamond Tiara's injury, though, which happened quick, The Mean Girls are going to make sure Scootaloo's injury is as slow and PAINFUL as it can be...

Turf: TAG. TEAM. CHAMPIONS. BIIITTCCHHEEEESSSS! -The crowd continues to boo as Diamond Tiara raises the hands of her two cohorts, as Scootaloo and Berry Punch lay flat on the ground.

Ahuizotl: The Mean Girls...sending an absolutely DISGUSTING message to their opponents at Proving Grounds...

Garble: I thought it was pretty beautiful. The tag team division is going to go places with Turf and Silver Spoon as the champions!

*Backstage*

-Rumble is seen walking, taking a selfie with each step he takes. Out of nowhere, he is grabbed by Hugh Jelly and pressed up against a steel loading door.-

Rumble: -Struggling- HEY! HEY! HEY! Watch the Jacket...it's made from Dolphin.

Hugh Jelly: Yeah? Well your face is about to be made of MEAT!

Rumble: -Emotionless face- ...Cute. Now, let me the hell go!

Bill Neigh: We REFUSE to let you go! The chances of Midnight Strike getting brutalized last week were a 0.21% chance before you sent your familiars after her...and US.

Rumble: -Laughing- Oho...OH! You think that I told big bad Horsepower and the Roses to go out there, cost you your match, and hurt your girlfriend, Jam-Master?

Dance Fever: Ehhh...why wouldn't it be you, daddy? You one BAD cat!

Rumble: Listen here, Hot-Pants...neither Horsepower, Flitter, OR Cloudchaser have contracts with ME...I don't OWN them. They have contracts with the Equestrian Wrestling Federation...as do I...as do you all...they're all three grown men and women that can make their OWN decisions. I met Horsepower at a Nightclub, and we became great friends. Flitter and Cloudchaser I met through my brother...I've known them since I was a kid...we aren't an ITEM. We aren't DATING. We're merely FRIENDS...-chuckling- with benefits...-Hugh lets Rumble go- I have a title match with Overdrive to worry about. I have no reason to want to pick a fight with ANY of you...my friends? They apparently did, and I can't tell you why...and, truthfully, I'm not going to ask...

Hugh: You're not even going to APOLOGIZE on behalf of them?

Rumble: APOLOGIZE? Oh, Slam-Jam, WHY would I stoop myself so low as to garner you with my eternal sorrow? I never had a reason to set my sights on any of you...because you're NOTHING. You're not even BLIPS on my radar...hmph. I'm not wasting my time with you, but you should be HONORED that my other GORGEOUS friends have decided to...you should've ran away to your girlfriend instead of picking a fight with the wrong crowd...tonight, you're all going to witness what my friends can do, because they're ALL going to be in action at ONCE. And at Proving Grounds...they're going to DESTROY YOU, Aunt Jamima...YOU, Doink the Chump, and your little damsel in distress...just like I'm about to destroy YOU, Disco-Dork in our match...NEXT. -Walks off, whistling his theme music and taking more selfies as the Oddities watch him leave.-

Dance: -Pounding his hand- Man...that ain't cool...

*Commercial*

_Ehehehe...everybody come see the greatest show..._ -The crowd cheers-

Garble: And there you go, 'Zotl...no need to paint Rumble as this "super ultra bad guy" anymore. He had NOTHING to do with the interference of Horsepower and the Roses last week!

Ahuizotl: He just insulted the Oddities with some of the worst nicknames I've ever heard, though...

Garble: Hey! I think "Aunt Jamima" is a GREAT nickname!

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing FIRST, representing The Oddities! Weighing in at 228 POOOUUUNNDSS...DANCEEE..FEEEVVEEERR!

Ahuizotl: First time we've seen ANY member of the Oddities BESIDES Midnight Strike in singles competition.

Garble: Where is she, anyway?

Ahuizotl: You DO realize she was attacked by a near 300 pound man last week...correct?

Garble: Jeez, just figured she was tougher than that...

Ahuizotl: ...Unbelievable.

-Dance Fever does some outdated dance moves from the 70's as the crowd and the Oddities clap to the beat of their entrance-

-Rumble does his usual entrance which you hopefully know how it works if not GO TO A PREVIOUS EPISODE-

Garble: But now...the dancing must STOP, as all make way for the sheer GORGEOUSNESS that is Rumble...

Ahuizotl: And Rumble has a GORGEOUS opportunity this Sunday to be crowned the first EVER Champion of Carnage...he just has to beat the adrenaline fueled Overdrive.

Garble: Pft. Is that all? Rumble is up to the challenge...TRUST ME.

Crowd: RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Ahuizotl: And the fans seem to be behind him...for SOME reason.

Garble: Didn't you HEAR them? He's gorgeous!

Ahuizotl: And...?

Garble: He...his jacket is made of DOLPHIN!

Ahuizotl: Supposedly...

Garble: -Sigh- Yeeeaaahh...for some reason I don't see that being a thing.

Match 2: Dance Fever vs Rumble

-As the bell rings, Rumble is still taking selfies-

Ahuizotl: APPARENTLY he didn't get the memo...

Garble: Leave him alone! He's got to get a few more good ones in!

-The referee approaches Rumble-

Ref: Put it down, Rumble! Start the match! -Dance Fever is waiting for Rumble. He's no longer dancing. He's all serious.-

Rumble: Hold on! Just need to get my good side! -Takes a few more selfies before cheap-shotting Dance Fever. The crowd cheers as Rumble lays his cell phone down in the corner to go to work on Dance.-

-7 minutes later-

-Dance rushes at Rumble, but Rumble lifts him up into the air and FLATTENS him into a Flapjack-

Garble: And this match has been ALL Rumble! He's proved that Dance Fever isn't a threat to him in ANY way!

Ahuizotl: But the match isn't over yet...now is it?

-Rumble begins the set-up to his "Snap Shot" spinning heel kick finisher-

Garble: It's about to be...

-All of a sudden, the crowd begins to boo as Overdrive sprints down to the ring-

Ahuizotl: It's Overdrive! Rumble's opponent at Proving Grounds!

Garble: Oh CAN'T YOU WAIT A DAMN MINUTE?! We're seeing PERFECTION in the ring!

-Overdrive swipes Rumble's camera from the corner, sending Rumble into a frenzy as he approaches the ropes-

Rumble: Hands off my STUFF, pin-head! Yelling causes my throat to deteriorate and making mad-faces causes WRINKLES, so give it ba- -Dance Fever rolls up Rumble-

1...2...3! -Most of the crowd boos, as Dance Fever rolls out of the ring. Rumble is on his knees, his hands being slapped to the top of his head-

Ahuizotl: He did it! dance Fever has secured the first win for ANY Oddity!

Garble: IT WAS A FLUKE! IT WAS A FLUKE AND ALL THOSE LOSER ODDITIES KNOW IT! NONE OF THEM COULD BEAT RUMBLE ON HIS BEST DAY! OVERDRIVE...YOU SUCK BIG TIME, BUDDY! YOU CAN'T BEAT RUMBLE EITHER, THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO EMBARRASS HIM!

Ahuizotl: Hey, better stop yelling...it "deteriorates" your throat...

Garble: I AM NOT YELLING I AM CLAIMING IGNORANCE ON EVERYTHING THAT MY EYES HAVE JUST WITNESSED!

Ahuizotl: I don't see the difference...

-Overdrive places Rumble's phone on the ground, and Rumble realizes what he's about to do. He clasps in hands in prayer-

Rumble: NO! NO! PLEASE! IT'S A TOUCH SCREEN!

-Overdrive fakes sympathy, but ultimately crushed Rumble's phone with his shoe. The crowd cannot stop booing-

Crowd: OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS! OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS! OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS! OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS!

-Rumble begins pounding at the mat as tears roll down his face-

Garble: Goddammit! Look at this man! Poor Rumble is crying his eyes out over the loss of his beloved phone!

Ahuizotl: I know...isn't it pathetic. Can't he just buy a new one?

Garble: Why? So shitty Overdrive can KILL that one too?!

-Overdrive steps on the phone one final time, as a random chip flies into the crowd-

Garble: HEY! THAT COULD KILL A FAN!

Ahuizotl: That couldn't even kill an ant...

-Overdrive throws the remains of the phone back in the ring, does the "imaginary title belt" motion across his stomach, and walks off without a hint of forgiveness in his body. Rumble shields his body over the final remains of his phone, and weeps-

Rumble: MY BABYYYY! -He looks towards the stage- I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, OVERDRIVE! YOU DON'T MESS WITH A MAN'S PHOOOOO-OOOOONEEEEEE!

Ahuizotl: Welp, time to get a Nokia! They're indestructible!

Garble: YOU FUCKER! HAVE YE NO SOUL?! HAVE YE NO CONSCIENCE?! HAVE YE NO SYMPATHY FOR THIS POOR MAN?!

Ahuizotl: I can just picture the Verizon guy saying "Can you hear me now?" And he is met with no response...EVER.

Garble: TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK SO THIS ASSHOLE NEXT TO ME CAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF FOR A FEW MINUTES!

-We go to commercial break with Rumble literally rolling in the pieces of his broken phone, as chants "Rumble" break out.-

Garble: -His head hung low- Ladies and gentlemen, we would just like to remind you that this is NOT a part of the entertainment we provide you with each and every week...I- -nearly chokes up-...I have the responsibility to let you all know that...Rumble's phone has died...-sniffles-...Rumble's phone has tragically died...here tonight, as a result of Overdrive's shoe's fall into his face...-"One Thing" by Finger Eleven plays in the background as many fans applaud the graphic that has just came up on the titantron. It has a picture of Rumble's face because Rumble never took a picture of his own phone that would be gay and it has the caption under below the picture: "Rumble's phone. Three weeks ago to Today."-

-There is a moment of silence, followed by a 10 bell salute-

Garble: Overdrive took Rumble's phone's SOUL...with his own SOLE...but FUCK THAT PHONE! -Grins- It's time for the SAUNA MATCH!

Ahuizotl: I knew that would cheer you up. I'm pretty excited to...care to mind the rules, since this is sure to be your FAVORITE match-type EVER?

Garble: I GLADLY will! -Rubs his hands together- The rules of the Sauna match are fairly simple. Two women will step into a sauna, provided by Sublime's very own Spa Twins, Aloe and Lotus, so thanks to them...I wish they could be the participants in the match but oh well. The women will be in their wrestling gear-nice, nice...the winner will be the FIRST woman to remove her - Eyes go big-...HOT STICKY AND CLUNG TO HER BODY WRESTLING GEAR...-Gasps-due to the extreme heatness they will be feeling as a result of being in the sauna...but the real winner...will be US! THE FANS! WHO GIVES A FUCK WHO WINS?! A NEKKID WOMAN IS THE BEST KIND OF WOMAN!

Ahuizotl: Amen to that...-imagines Daring Do in a sauna while wearing a towel. She fans herself and crosses her legs so he can get a small glimpse of her pussy lips.- THIS IS INHUMANE! CUT TO THE DAMN SAUNA SO THESE WOMEN CAN DEGRADE THEMSELVES FOR OUR PLEASURE!

-We cut to the Sauna, where the door is open and ready for its two participants-

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: Introducing first...from LOONNEYYVVIILLLE...weighing 127 POOOUUNNDSS...SPAAARRRKKLLERRRRR!

-Sparkler walks into the sauna wearing her towel, but she has her arms crossed. She has a look that borders "pissed off" and "I'm too pure and wholesome to show my body waaahhhhh WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Garble: Alright, alright! Sparkler is pretty damn sexy! Nice start so far!

Ahuizotl: But she doesn't look very happy to be here...

Garble: If she doesn't wanna strip, then DAMMIT! But if she doesn't CARE if we're mad at that, cuz she's a BITCH, then all she has to do is take the heat!

_I swear I won't tease you-won't tell you no li-Ies..._ -Sparkler's face droops, as all the fans in the arena fully understand what they are about to witness. This is no exaggeration...EVERYBODY WATCHING THIS, WHETHER IT BE LIVE OR AT HOME, IS SCREAMING IN TERROR. NOT BOOING...SCREAMING IN GOD DAMN RECTAL TERROR. ALL OF THEIR BONERS? DEAD. THEIR HOPES AND DREAMS TO SEE THE SEXIEST GIMMICK MATCH THEY'VE EVER SEEN? DEAD. UNCLE PHIL FROM FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR? DEAD, BUT UNCLE PHIL WOULD'VE JERKED OFF TO THIS MATCH JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. THAT DAY, ALL THE LITTLE KIDS CRIED ON THE CAR-RIDE HOME, COMPLAINING TO THEIR PARENTS: "DADDDDYYYY! WHY DIDN'T I GET TO SEE DAH PRETTY LADIES BOOOOBBBIIEESSSS?" AND, WITH A SINGLE TEAR ROLLING DOWN HIS CHEEK, THE FATHER REPLIES: "BECAUSE, SON...GOD IS DEAD." AND GOD WOULD LOVE THIS MATCH, TOO. HE HAD HIS LOTION AND TISSUES ALL READY, BUT FUCKING GAY DICK-FUCK ZEUS DIDN'T GET HIS SHITTY THUNDERSTORM IN BUTTE, MONTANA, SO HE FUCKING MAKES TWIST APPEAR SOMEHOW I DUNNO BUT GODDAMMIT. THE WORLD WAS WATCHING, WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT...ALL THE NECKBEARDS AND VIRGINS OF THE WORLD WHEEZED SO HARD THEY HAD TO GRAB THEIR INHALER AND PUFF PUFF PUFF. NOT ONLY DRUGS BUT ALSO...YA KNOW THEIR INHALER. THEY WERE ALL SET TO "INHALE" THIS MATCH HAHAHA SEE WHAT I DID THERE AHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING SCRUB BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. NOBODY IS GOING TO GET WHAT THEY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? SANTA CLAUS IS DEAD, TOO. AND HE AND MILFY MRS. CLAUSE WERE BOTH GOING TO HAVE FOREPLAY WITH EACH OTHER AS THIS MATCH WENT THROUGH LIVE ON THE TELE. BY THE WAY...FUCK THE BRITISH. SAY TELEVISION, YOU QUEEF-BURGLARS. I BEG OF YOU YOU FUCKING FUCKS. HOW ARE TERMITES NOT IN YOUR MOUTHS YET? SO ANYWAY WOW I SURE TYPED A LOT WELP TIME TO BLOW MY HEAD OFF BECAUSE SUICIDE SOLVES EVERYTHING. AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT, KURT COBAIN.-

Garble: -Quiet-...no...-Louder-...NO...-As loud as one can be-...NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO! ANYBODY! ANYBODY BUT TWIST! WHY!? WHY!? FUCKING WHY I ASK OF YOU!?

-Twist comes twerking into the sauna, as she didn't even BOTHER putting a towel on-

-Ahuizotl is already under the commentary table, as Garble munches on turnbuckle pads. People try to throw their sodas at the titantron to short it out, but it all misses by a long shot-

Ahuizotl: HAPPY THOUGHTS HAPPY THOUGHTS HAPPY THOUGHTS! -THINKS OF DARING DO EATING A CORNDOG THAT IS COVERED IN MAYONNAISE. SHE EATS IT SLOWLY, AND TEASES BY INSERTING IT INTO HER MOUTH AGAIN AND AGAIN, ALL THE WHILE WAGGLING HER EYEBROWS.- GAAAAAAHHHH! I...It's still better than whatever is happening on the battlefield...-keeps thinking these thoughts, sucking his thumb as they play through his head.-

-Twist sits down on the bench opposite of Sparkler, licking her lips.-

Twist: Let's see if you can take my "heat"...

Match 3: Sauna Match: Sparkler vs Twist

-As soon as the bell rings, Sparkler jumps up from her bench, and yanks her towel off-

Sparkler: FUCK THIS!

Twist: Oh...I intend to...

-Sparkler rips her wrestling attire, exposing her ENTIRE BODY THAT HAS NO STEAM RESONATING OFF OF WHICH SUCKS BUT OH WELL YAY NAKED SLUT TO THE PUBLIC BUT EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD HAS THEIR HANDS COVERING THEIR FACE, except for one 6 year old little boy in the audience. Who ignored his father's advice and at the appropriate time took one hand off of one eye and gasped in delight at what he saw. He began to tug on his father's shirt-

LITTLE SHIT: Daddy, daddy! I saw BOOOBBBBBBYYYYY!

BIG SHIT: NOOOOOO SOOOOOOONNNNN! DO NOT LIE TO YOUR POOR OLD MAN! SHIELD YOUR EYES! -The father turns his head to the side to avoid what he DOESN'T BELIEVE IS SPARKLER'S NEKKID SEXEH BODEH THAT IS QUICKLY COLLECTING MORE SWEAT WHICH MAKES IT BETTER and uses one of his large hands to engulf his son's smaller eyes away from the "monstrosity" that is purple sex on the titantron-

LITTLE SHIT: -Frowns- Why does it even matter, daddy? You'd need Viagra for your wiener to grow in this predicament, anyway...

BIG SHIT: -Sniffles- I know, son...I KNOW.

-The timekeeper can't even see what is happening but he rings the bell and hopes the announcer can understand what he is doing-

Announcer: -Does understand- Here is your WINNER...SPARKLER! GET THE FUCKING MATCH OFF OF THE SCREEN!

-Sparkler runs for the door, but it shuts right in her face. She tries to open it, but realizes she's been locked out. Panicked, she looks back to see Twist has stood up from her bench.-

Twist: I don't mind if I lost, because in the end...I'M a winner, too...-snorts combined with giggles-...where ya running off to? Hop aboard the Steam-Twain! -Twist grabs a hold of her attire, and stretches it out so far it rips. Thankfully, the camera crew are able to cut away from that scene before we can see any of Twist's peppermint pussy.-

*Princess Luna's office*

-Princess Luna and Star Swirlanaitis are having some casual conversation as Sunset Shimmer bursts through the door.-

Swirlanaitis: Ah...Sunset Shimmer. -Extends his hand- Nice to meet you.

Sunset: -Stares at his hand with a raised eyebrow, and chuckles- Another corporate sellout who traded in his quirky personality and scrotum for a suit, a corner office, and a chance to be on TV? -Shakes her head- Why should I respect YOU? You're everything I HATE.

Swirlanaitis: -Frowns- I'm sorry to hear that...

Luna: Ms. Shimmer, how DARE you speak to the man that controls your contrac-

Swirlanaitis: No, no, Luna...it's fine. It's a...lot to get used to myself...Sunset IS one of the more...direct members of Lunacy's roster, I've noticed.

Sunset: Damn right. -Crosses her arms and smirks-

Luna: Which would explain why she just so happens to BURST into my office. -Glares at Sunset. Sunset shrugs. Luna sighs.- What can we do for you...Sunset?

Sunset: For the past two weeks, that little pink gnat Cadance has been on my case! Every time I turn around, THERE SHE IS...interrupting MY opportunity to DOMINATE Twilight Sparkle. She took away my chance to challenge for the Eternal Women's title, and she snuck up from behind me last week!

Luna: Much like YOU'VE been doing since the first episode of Lunacy...bashing her back with a steel chair, slamming her head into a crate...

Swirlanaitis: Sounds like a pretty nice track record to me.

Luna: Star Swirl...please. Was that the only reason you came here, Sunset? To complain?

Sunset: GRRRRR...No! I want a chance to get BACK at her! You think I can wait SIX more days to pull this little pink THORN out of my side?

Swirlanaitis: Going to need some BIG plyers to tackle that job...-chuckles.-

Sunset: Did...did you just call Cadance FAT? -Laughs- Oh man...I kind of like you...-Swirlanaitis gasps-

Luna: -Glares at Swirlanaitis again- I believe we may be able to give you what you want, while making a GREAT main event at the same time...tonight, you, Sunset, will team up with Snips and Snails...to take on Cadance, and HER partners...Shining Armor, and your boyfriend...Flash Sentry.

Sunset: WHAT?! You expect me to face my BOYFRIEND?

Luna: Calm down...it's NOT an intergender match. Boys face boys, girls face girls. Plus, it combines two of Lunacy's rivalries into one big match, as we've been doing the past few weeks.

Swirlanaitis: Great marketing strategy! -Smiles-

Sunset: Whatever...I suppose it will HAVE to do. These six days are going to fly by in a breeze, anyway...-looks at Swirlanaitis- Just be ready to terminate that bitch's contract once she won't be able to compete after the injuries I'M going to give her... -Snickers, and leaves the office-

Swirlanaitis: -Leans in towards Luna- DRAAAAMMMAAAAAA... -Luna giggles-

-As we cut back to the arena, we get the lasting image of Garble, still with turnbuckle pad in his mouth, being dragged out of the arena by "White Coats", as they plan to take him to the nearest insane asylum. Ahuizotl is still under the announce table, trembling with fear as Daring Do dunks her corndog in MELTED BUTTER. So yeah we now have no commentary.-

*RUMBLE'S THEME* -Most of the crowd cheers-

-Horsepower walks down the aisle in another big suit, carrying the velvet rope with him. He quickly sets it up as Flitter and Cloudchaser come out, arm in arm in their wrestling gear, eliciting many cheers and horny wolf-whistles from the crowd that are happy to see hot women instead of...what was going to happen BEFORE this match. Horsepower opens the rope to allow the girls entry, and Cloudchaser pats Horsepower's cheek as she and Flitter stand next to Horsepower. Horsepower rips off his massive suit, and leads the girls to the ring.-

Announcer: The following HANDICAP MATCH...is scheduled for OOONNEEE FAAAALLL! In the ring, at a combined weight of 497 POOOOUUNNDDSSS...HOOORRSSEEPPOOWWEERRR...FLIIITTERRR...AND CLOOOUUDCHASSEERR!

-Horsepower flexes in the ring, as Flitter and Cloudchaser rest on his shoulders and point at him, signifying that "YEH FUQQERS WE GOT DAH ROIDED GAI ON OUR TEEM WUT NAW."-

_Since they wanna know..._ -Decent pop-

Announcer: AAANNDDD...THEIR opponent...from LOONNEEYYVVIILLLEEE...weighing in at 157 POOOUUUNNDDSS...GIIZZZMMMOOOOO!

-Gizmo comes out with his boxing gloves, as his grandfather Geri is not far behind-

Geri: Alright, kid...your first match? Ya didn't do so good. Your second match? You're REALLY gonna stiff 'em up!

Gizmo: -Wheezes- But, grandpa...there's LADIES in that ring...-sweats-

Geri: Yeah! And if ya rough 'em up real good, then they'll go on a date with you so you can get your sorry BUTT out of your poor mom and pop's house.

Gizmo: I'm not quite sure if that's how love works...

Geri: Eh, why do you think I've got all these scars on my cheek, sonny?

Gizmo: You mean...grandma HIT you?

Geri: EH-HEH-HEH-HEEEEEHHHHH...nah, these are just from the war...-squirts some water down Gizmo's throat, which almost causes him to choke- Get 'em! -Pushes his grandson into the center of the ring, where Flitter is waiting.

Gizmo: Uhhmmm...-snorts-...Hi, Flitter...

Flitter: WOOOWWWWW, Gizzy! What big BOXING GLOVES you have!

Gizmo: You...-blushes- you really like them?

Flitter: -Nods- MHM! Oh, I bet you could STIFF someone REALLY good with those, couldn't you...? -Wraps her arms around Gizmo's neck-

Gizmo: -Laughs nervously- Eheheheh...well...to be quite honest...IIIIIIIIIIIIII've...never really "knocked anybody out" yet...

Flitter: -Giggles, and leans in to whisper in Gizmo's ear- Well...tonight could be your lucky night...-licks Gizmo's ear lobe, causing his chest to compress over and over again. Flitter bites her bottom lip.-

Gizmo: P-...perhaps it could be...

Flitter: Oh...-pouts- But you wouldn't hurt wittle owe Fwitter...-puppy dog eyes-...would yew?

Gizmo: N-No! N-never, Flitter...NEVER.

Flitter: -Giggles again- That's good! -Steps back- Because you've gotta put those gloves to good use...

-Gizmo doesn't quite get what she means by that, but he figures it out when he gets MOWED over by Horsepower with a running shoulder block. Horsepower screeches as Flitter skips out of the ring, gaining a high five from her friend for good effort-

Match 4: Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser vs Gizmo

-4 minutes later...-

-Horsepower connects with a Dominator. He snorts, and notices that Cloudchaser WILLINGLY wants the tag. Horsepower obliges, and tags her in, the first time EITHER one of the Roses have gotten a tag in this match. Cloudchaser slowly makes her way into the ring, as she has Gizmo RIGHT where she wants him. She goes up to Gizmo and nudges his side with her boot, but gets no response. She then proceeds to STEP onto and over Gizmo's body, and opts to LOUNGE her shoulders and back onto him, rather than pinning him.-

1...2...3! -The crowd cheers as Cloudchaser sits up and throws her arms out to the side in a "Yeah, I did that" manner-

Announcer: Here are YOUR WINNERS...Horsepoweeeerrrr...Flitteeerrrr...AAANNDD Cloudchaasseerrr!

-Flitter skips into the ring, and high fives Cloudchaser. They then pick up Gizmo to do some more damage. They both laugh like they're riding through California in a sun-roofed convertible, as they each plant a kiss on Gizmo's forehead, before planting him into the mat with a Double DDT. Geri throws the towel in, but it's already too late. Horsepower raises their hands, and the girls hug Horsepower before all three leave the ring. Geri gets in the ring and begins blowing his whistle in his grand-son's face, attempting to wake him up, but he is knocked out cold.-

-We cut backstage to a split screen showing of Rarity and Colgate walking through different hallways. Colgate has a menacing smirk on her face, while Rarity has a determined look on hers. They are each coming out to the ring for their 30 minute Iron Woman match...next.-

*Commercial*

Announcer: The following contest...is the THIIIRRTTTYY MINUTE...IRON WOMAN MAATTTCCHHH...-the crowd explodes with cheers, as they realize what match is about to occur- Whichever competitor has the MOST decisions, over the course of the 30 minute time limit...will be VICTORIOUS!

*DRILL SOUNDS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO INTIMIDATE EVERYBODY* -Large cheers from the crowd-

Announcer: Introducing FIRST! From LOONEYYVIILLEE...weighing in at 132 POOOUUNDSSS...COOOLLGATE!

*REDACTED THEME* -More crowd cheers-

Announcer: Aaaanddd...HER OPPONENT! From LOONNEEYYVVIILLEEE...weighing in at 127 POOOUNDSS...RAAARRIITTTTYY!

-You can literally FEEL the anticipation of the crowd RISE as Colgate and Rarity stare each other down. After their CLASSIC match last week, to say the fans are looking forward to this rematch would be the understatement to end ALL understatements!

Crowd: LET'S GO RAR-I-TY-AAAND COL-GATE! LET'S GO RAR-I-TY-AAAND COL-GATE! LET'S GO RAR-I-TY-AAAND COL-GATE!

Match 5: 30 Minute Iron Woman Match: Rarity vs Colgate

-27 minutes later-

Crowd: NEVER END THIS MATCH! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* NEVER END THIS MATCH! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* NEVER END THIS MATCH! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

-2 minutes later-

-Both Rarity and Colgate are on the top rope. Rarity goes for a superplex, but Colgate avoids this by forcing her hand into Rarity's mouth, which gains a big pop from the crowd. Rarity loses her train of thought as her teeth are being stretched out by Colgate five feet in the air. Colgate uses her free hand to grab a handful of Rarity's trunks, and jump off of the top rope with a hard SLAM to the mat. It's like a Chokeslam, but the hand is in the mouth and not around the throat. Whatever it was, the crowd LOVES it, and they are just as shocked that Colgate STILL has the Root Canal locked in.-

-Many seconds later-

-Rarity has tried to drag herself to the ropes in a last ditch effort to escape this excruciating hold, but Colgate has a FIRM grip on her molars.-

5...4...3...2...1...-The crowd counted down the final remaining seconds of the match, and as the bell rings, Rarity still DID NOT tap. She had survived the dreaded Root Canal for a full MINUTE!-

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...in the 30 minute time limit given...NEITHER superstar was able to secure a decision...therefore, this match...is a DRAW. -The crowd boos at that, as Colgate herself cannot believe Rarity didn't give up.-

Crowd: OVER-TIME! OVER-TIME! OVER-TIME! OVER-TIME! OVER-TIME!

-Instead of giving the crowd what they want, Colgate rolls out of the ring, and walks up the ramp in frustration. The crowd boos her, as Rarity is left clutching at her mouth in the ring, a bit of blood leaking onto her hands. The crowd, however, could NOT have been any happier about the outcome of the match...UNTIL the end.-

*Commercial*

*REDACTED THEME* -A few boos-

Announcer: The following is a six person MIXED...tag team match, and it is scheduled for ONE FAAALLL! Making her way to the ring...from CRYSTALVILLE...weighing in at 129 POOOUNNDSSS...CAAADDAAANNCCEEEEEE!

_The sky turns to a different shade of blue.._. -Mostly crowd cheers-

Announcer: Aaaanndd...HER partners! At a combined weight of 421 POOOUUNDSSS...Shining Armor...and Flash SEEENNTTRRRYYYY...THE BROOOMAANNSSS!

Crowd: BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS!

-Flash Sentry uses the ropes to jump into the ring, as Shining Armor kisses his girlfriend good luck. There are small chants of "YOU DESERVE BETTER" being directing towards Shining Armor-

*REDACTED THEME* -Mostly boos-

Announcer: Aaaanndd...their opponents! FIRST...at a combined weight of 402 POOOUUNDSSSS...Snips...and Snails...SLLLLLLIIIIMEEEE...

-Snips and Snails sneak to the ring, but stop at the end of the ramp as they await for their tag team partner.-

_And now...it's all over now..._ -If there are boos, you can't hear them over the cheers-

Announcer: Aaaannddd...THEIR partner! From CAANTTERRLLOOTT...weighing in at 143 POOOUUNNDSSS...SUN...SEEEEETT...SHIMMER!

Crowd: SUN-SET! SUN-SET! SUN-SET! SUN-SET! SUN-SET! SUN-SET!

-Trending now on Twitter: "Swirlanaitis", "#SadRumble", and "#WHATATWIST"

-Snips and Snails look at Sunset for confirmation, and in response, Sunset growls at them and points at the ring. Snips and Snails quickly scurry in as Sunset walks around the ring, stalking her opponents, but mostly Cadance. She slowly enters the ring, and kisses HER boyfriend on the lips, before delivering a VISCOUS slap to Cadance. Cadance retaliates by tackling Sunset to the mat and leveling her with punches. Flash puts his arms up in defense as Shining Armor leads him out of the ring-

Shining: Let's just...let them do their thing...

Main Event: Sunset Shimmer, Snips, and Snails vs Cadance, Shining Armor, and Flash Sentry

-19 minutes later-

1...2...- -Shining Armor breaks up Snails' pin on Flash at the last second. Sunset grabs Shining by his legs, causing him to fall to the mat, and DRAGS him out of the ring. Shining mistakes her for Snips, and is about to hit her, but quickly recoils his fist. This didn't phase Sunset in the LEAST. Sunset leans forward, and plants a LOOOONNGGG kiss on Shining's cheek. The crowd cheers at this.-

Crowd: SHE'S THE ONE! SHE'S THE ONE! SHE'S THE ONE! SHE'S THE ONE! SHE'S THE ONE!

-Shining grabs his cheek, shocked by this, and continues to look into Sunset's eyes, dumbfounded. Sunset continues to look into Shining's eyes with a lustful smirk. In the ring, Flash Sentry sees the whole thing happening, and leans over the rope, screaming-

Flash: HEY! THAT'S MY GIRL, MAN! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DO- -Flash is caught off guard as Snips suddenly lifts him into the air for a German Suplex. Snails, as Flash is being lifted over Snips' head, leaps off of the top rope, and lands a flying leg-drop on Flash's neck. And thus, the first ever German Suplex/Flying Leg-drop combo was born. Shining continues to be entranced by Sunset as the referee counts.-

1...2...3! -The crowd cheers as Sunset bumps Shining's arm as she runs past him. She quickly motions Snips and Snails to follow her, and they do as they roll out of the ring. Snips and Snails jump over the barricade, and so does Sunset, but she stops for a moment to sit on it. She salutes Cadance, who had also saw the scene unfold, but was to shocked to do anything. Sunset puts her other leg over the barricade and runs off with her two lackeys. Cadance takes one betrayed look at Shining, who has a sad yet confused look on his face, and jumps over the barricade in pursuit of Sunset Shimmer. Shining grabs his head with his two hands, and SQUEEZES in frustration. He looks into the ring, and sees Flash Sentry holding his neck and staring at him with the same fury Cadance just had. Shining goes into the ring, and tries to console Flash.-

Shining: I'm sorry, man...I'm sorry. -He helps Flash up- I didn't even know it was coming...it all happened so fa- -Flash dejectedly pushes Shining out of his way. The crowd "OOOHH's" as Flash leaves the ring, and takes the LONG and lonely walk up the ramp. Shining sits down in the ring, sadly watching Flash go.-

*Commercial*

-As we return from commercial, General Manager Luna and Star Swirlanaitis are in the ring. There are two podiums, one on each side of them. Most of the Superstars of Lunacy are lined up across all 4 sides of the ring, minus Sparkler, Twist, Sunset Shimmer, Snips, Snails, and Cadance.-

Luna: As promised last week, to close out the show...the first ever championship DEBATE shall be conducted in this ring. We both know the two combatants representing Lunacy in their main event at proving Grounds know how to debate with their fists...but how will they do in THIS sort of environment? A VERBAL debate?

Swirlanaitis: I'd like to think they will EXCEL, as they've BOTH been doing their fair share of talking over the past few weeks...ironically, in THIS very ring...with each other!

Luna: And THAT is what this debate is going to decide. Who makes the better points. Who will decide that? -Luna gestures around the ring- The many talented men and women of Lunacy...-Turf turns towards the crowd, and points at herself because SHE'S SPECIAL- One of the members of Lunacy's roster that surrounds this ring will raise their hand when they have a question to toss out there for debate. We will only take THREE questions, so make them good.

Swirlanaitis: With the guidelines out of the way...please welcome out first...the REIGNING...DEFENDING...FIRST EVER Eternal Women's Champion in Lunacy HISTORY! -The crowd has already begun cheering- LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLightning Dust!

_Welcome to the Danger Zone!_ -The crowd cheers even louder when Lightning Dust makes her way on the stage, holding up her title with both hands for all to see.-

Crowd: LIGHT-NING DUST! LIGHT-NING DUST! LIGHT-NING DUST! LIGHT-NING DUST! LIGHT-NING DUST!

-Lightning Dust walks down to ringside, eyeing potential opponents for the future. Scootaloo and Berry Punch move out of her way, and Lightning Dust tries to intimidate Scootaloo by bobbing her neck closer to her face. When Scootaloo doesn't laugh, Lightning Dust cackles and enters the ring. She skips the hand-shakes with the General Manager and the EVP, and walks to her podium. She steps onto the platform connecting the podium, and places her championship on the top of it, making it lean against the microphone.-

Swirlanaitis: And...her opponent this Sunday -the crowd has already begun to boo-...the CHALLENGER! Being joined in this debate...by her little brother Spike...TTTTTTTTTTTTTwilIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHTTTTTTTTT...SPARKLE!

_A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head..._ -The crowd boos even more as Twilight and Spike come through the curtain. Twilight and Spike wave at the fans with huge smiles on their faces, and Twilight gives a nod to Scootaloo. Berry Punch takes her case of beer off of the steel steps so Twilight and Spike can climb them and enter the ring. Lightning Dust rolls her eyes as both Twilight and her brother shake the hands that Lightning Dust WOULDN'T shake. Twilight gets onto her podium, as Spike stands by the bottom of it.-

Crowd: TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS!

Luna: Alright...now that both of the participants for the big title match are in attendance...ladies...do you have any opening statements?

Twilight: I in fact do, Princess Luna. -Turns to face the camera- Good evening to the fans of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation. -Crowd boos- My name..is Twilight Sparkle, and I am very humbled to be out here in front of all of you to speak my mind on the topics that the men and women of Lunacy present me with. I am looking forward to representing Lunacy in their main event in 6 days at Proving Grounds, and I am excited to have a honorable and invigorating debate with my opponent for Proving Grounds. -Nods- Thank you.

Crowd: BO-OOORING! BOO-OOORING! BO-OOORING! BO-OOORING!

Lightning Dust: -With her head rested on a hand like in Math class- Okay, so...we've been talking for WEEKS about the SAME DAMN CRAP, so I don't really see the point in having a DEBATE when we've already DEBATED...But I'll humor the entire event and play along. Just don't start complaining if this gets repetitive...

Luna: Thank you, ladies. Now...who would like to ask the first question?

-Scootaloo raises her hand. Luna hands her the mic-

Scootaloo: Heh...I feel like I'm back in Elementary school...okay, I'll keep this very simple. What will you pledge to do as Eternal Women's champion?

Lightning Dust: What the hell is this? POLITICS?! -Clears her throat- "Vote for Lightning Dust on Proposition "HOLY HELL THIS WAS A BAD IDEA"...I never had sexual relations with that moose." -The crowd cheers at Lightning's response-

Luna: Lightning! PLEASE...answer the question.

Lightning: Yeah, yeah, okay...I'LL keep this VEEEEEERRRRRRYYY SIIIMMMPPLLLE. As Eternal Women's Champion, I pledge to be the greatest champion any of you in attendance will ever witness. I will be UNSTOPPABLE, UNBEATABLE, and UNQUENCHABLE in my thirst to be THE BEST.

Luna: Your response, Twilight?

Twilight: Those are all claims I would EXPECT from someone as ego-maniacal as Lightning Dust...

Lightning: EGO-MANIAC?! Sister, YOU'RE the one out here being all formal and polite. "Ohhhh, my name is Twilight Sparrrrrrrrkle...giggle giggle...cheer me, fans! Cheer me! PLEEEEAASSEEEE CHEEEERRR MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" It's sad, even for you...you look like an idiot, you SOUND like an idiot, and yet you don't SEE what everyone else is seeing. You just think you're hot shit since you know big words and are an easy candidate to play Hero. Fuck off. Stop rubbing this so-called "intellect" in everyone's face...because honestly, you don't look smart to me...you look like a damn FOOL.

Twilight: -Clears her throat- As I was saying...-Folds her hands on the top of the podium- As Eternal Women's Champion, I promise to build up the credibility that the championship has been so far been CLEARLY lacking-

Lightning: Excuse me? I beat 19 other women on the FIRST night of the company's history to win this title. Get that shit out of here!

Twilight: You won it by cheating, and you haven't won a match SINCE winning the championship. The credibility of the title goes down every time you enter this ring.

Lightning: Whatever...bring up your same old tired and drawn-out points to work with. -Folds her arms and lays her head down-

Twilight: I will also, as champion...take on ALL comers. I WILL NOT use underhanded means to retain my title, or to insult the hard work of the superstar I am facing to get where they are. Everybody will get a fair shot. I will even request that Lightning Dust be given a rematch should I beat her.

Lightning: Well DAAAAAAMMMNNN...-Mock praise- THANK YOU, Twilight! I mean, it's not like that's already a RULE or anything...

Luna: Do you have a rebuttal to Twilight's response, Lightning Dust?

Lightning: I've already mocked everything she's said. I feel content.

Luna: Anything else you'd like to add, Twilight?

Twilight: No thank you, Princess Luna. -Smiles-

Luna: Who would like to ask the next question, in that case?

-Neon Lights raises his hand without any hesitation. He GRABS the mic out of Luna's grasp.-

Lightning: Who the hell is this guy? Why is he asking ME a question!

Twilight: That is Neon Lights. Shame you don't know your fellow superstars...

Lightning: Oh well EXCUSE me for not being "Ms. Popular"...-to Neon Lights- Well? You got stage fright or something? SPIT IT OUT!

Neon: -Nearly drops the mic. Lightning Dust snickers at the clumsy display- Yo, so check it out, babes...

Lightning: What you got for me, STUD?

Neon: Heh...anything you want, baby.

Lightning: Aye! How about we keep this a PG debate there, bro?

Neon: I got ya. -Winks- Hey so...there are TWO divisions here in the EWF. The women's, and the male's. And we both have a title that we ALL want to get our hands on...so...this is more of an OPINIONATED question. Which championship do you think is more important? The Eternal for the WOMEN, or the Carnage for the MEN?

Lightning: Well, obviously the title that I'M wearing.

Twilight: That is BEYOND narcissistic.

Lightning: I wasn't DONE yet. Don't get your training bra in a knot...-more crowd cheers- I'm defending the title at Proving Grounds in the MAIN EVENT. Rumble vs Overdrive? They're not going to be the MAIN EVENT, as MUCH as they might WANT to be. Everybody is buying a ticket, or watching Proving Grounds at home to see ME...defend MY title...

Twilight: That's debatable.

Lightning: Yeah? That's why this is a DEBATE, genius. As much as I don't like Twilight, I've got to give her credit...she's done a BANG-UP job getting everybody to hate her SO MUCH...that they'll watch this pay per view just to see me kick her ASS. The Eternal Women's Championship is the biggest prize in the EWF...no matter WHO holds it, it still is. But with ME carrying it around everywhere I go? -Chuckles- It's got a LOT more value to it...

Luna: Your response, Twilight?

Twilight: I believe that both of the main titles on Lunacy are one in the same. Yes, Rumble vs Overdrive isn't going to be the Main Event, but it IS a main event worthy match, and who is to say a match to decide the Champion of Carnage won't be a Pay Per View main event in the near future?

Lightning: With YOU as the champion? Probably. With ME as the champion? Fat chance.

Twilight:...Both divisions, the male AND female, have a POPULOUS amount of talent that make up each division. If we are speaking from a more technical point of view...

Lightning: Oh god...

Twilight: The match between Overdrive and Rumble...actually means MORE. It will involve the crowning of the FIRST ever Champion of Carnage. A legend will be born, which would be the championship itself. But ANOTHER legend, either Rumble or Overdrive, could be born HIMSELF.

Lightning: Nuh uh. No way! There is NO WAY a match not involving me will EVER get top billing. Even if I'm NOT the champion...I should STILL be the main event!

Twilight: Rumble and Overdrive are both AMAZING competitors...and I wish them both good luck in their match.

-Overdrive gives Twilight a thumbs-up, as Rumble has had his back leaning against the apron this entire segment. He is not there mentally, as he mourns the loss of his cell phone-

Luna: Anything else to say, Lightning Dust?

Lightning: -Groans- No...let's just get this over with.

Luna: Twilight?

Twilight: No, ma'am.

Luna: It all comes down to this, then...one FINAL question. Who would like to ask it? -Nobody raises their hand-

Siwlranaitis: I have a question to ask...

Lightning: I have a question for YOU...where'd you get your pants? They look pretty snazzy...

Swirlanaitis: Thanks! Uh...Old Navy. My question for you two...is a DOOZY...what do you think...TRUTHFULLY...of your opponent? -Lightning Dust and Twilight look at each other. All bets are now off.-

Twilight: I believe Lightning Dust is a thief, that is MUCH too full-of-herself for her own good. She puts herself on SUCH a high pedestal, that it will be DISASTROUS for her when she is eventually knocked off of it. I do not feel she is WORTHY of being the FIRST Eternal Women's Champion, and that she has STAINED the record book with her less-than-admirable reign as champion. She has robbed OTHER hard workers...like Scootaloo, the chance to be where she is. And for THAT...I will be absolutely EUPHORIC to take that title away from her, and give the REAL workhorses the chance to live their moment.

-Lightning Dust out of nowhere JUMPS off of her podium, and pushes it to the mat-

Lightning: Another STUPID question! Why the hell does this segment even EXIST? There was NO REASON for it! Everybody already KNOWS what we were going to say! Everyone already KNOWS that I think Twilight is a delusional, half-witted, not-as-smart-as-she-thinks-she-is, fake-ass, bogus, artificial PHONY. But LIKE I SAID...THEY already KNEW that! You know what I think? I think that at Proving Grounds, all this mindless talk is going to stop, and we're going to see who can talk with their FISTS! I think-no, no! I KNOW, that I'm going to walk into Proving Grounds, KICK Twilight Sparkle's ASS, and walk out with MY TITLE! I KNOW it doesn't MATTER HOW many matches you LOSE, as long as you win the BIG one; the one that COUNTS! And the BIG match...the one that COUNTS? Is THIS SUNDAY! SIX DAYS! I KNOW I don't give a damn what any of these talent-less hacks -spins around the ring- CARE about ME! I KNOW I'm the only one whose opinion MATTERS! I KNOW that after I'm done with Sparkle, one of THESE assholes is going to face me next! And one by one by one by one by ONE! THEY'LL ALL SUFFER THE SAME FATE...being DOMINATED...by the BEST superstar in this COMPANY! I KNOW that NONE of them can hold a CANDLE to me! In the RING, on the MIC, in the GYM-I'VE WORKED HARDER! THAN ANYBODY! FOR! THIS! SPOT! MY WHOLE LIFE, I'VE HAD TO TAKE A BACK-SEAT TO EVERYBODY! AND NOW I'M FINALLY IN THE LIME-LIGHT! I'M NOT GOING TO LET SOMEBODY TAKE THIS ALL AWAY FROM ME! I'VE BARELY GOTTEN A CHANCE TO LET THIS SINK IN! You can't BEAT...A DESPERATE WOMAN, TWILIGHT! AND I'M DESPERATE! I'LL DO ANYTHING IT TAKES TO TEAR YOU DOWN! I WILL CHEAT! AND IF YOU WERE SMART, YOU WOULD, TOO! You may be BOOK-SMART...but I'm RING-SMART! I know what it will take to keep this title! And if I have to pull it out...I WILL! IF YOU'RE NOT READY FOR IT...THAN IT SUCKS TO BE YOU! EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE HAS LED UP TO THIS SUNDAY, AND I WILL...NOT...DISAPPOINT! I WILL...NOT...DISAPPOINT! I WILL...NOT...-

-On the other side of the ring, Rumble has just shoved Overdrive shoulder-first into the steel post, in revenge for his recent actions. All the other male superstars try to restrain him, but Horsepower comes over and shoves them all to the ground. Horsepower roars, but he is caught off guard as Overdrive SPEARS him through the barricade, and into the timekeeper's area. By now, Twilight and Lightning Dust have stopped talking, and are watching the action unfold. On the OTHER side, Scootaloo jumps onto the steel steps from the other side, and takes out Silver Spoon with a Tornado DDT. The crowd is now going wild. Berry Punch knocks Turf into the barricade with a barrage of fierce uppercuts, and then stomps a dirt-hole on her while she's still down by the barricade. Flitter is using Gizmo for a shield to protect herself from Midnight Strike, but Cloudchaser knocks Midnight down from behind. Flitter pushes Gizmo away, and stomps down on Midnight with Cloudchaser. Flash Sentry and Shining Armor are having a heated argument, which turns into a shoving match, and soon, into an all-out brawl. Shining tackles Flash to the ground, and they are soon jocking for position. Fancy Pants and Gustave are standing there, laughing at the commoners fight, when all of a sudden, Happy Trails and Braeburn LAUNCH themselves over the barricade and onto their opponents. Fleur De Lis looks on in fear as Braeburn and Happy pull out two steel chairs from under the ring, and use them to deliver a Con-Chair-To to both members of EGO.-

-In the ring, Twilight is cold-clocked from behind with the Eternal Women's title by Lightning Dust, who took the opportunity to knock her opponent out as she was watching the chaos ensue. Lightning quickly exits the ring, and runs all the way up onto the stage. The show ends with nearly the entire Lunacy roster brawling, and Lightning Dust holding her title up and gazing up at it as Swirlanaitis, Luna, and Spike check on Twilight Sparkle.-

*End Show*

Quick Results: Turf defeated Scootaloo (Pinfall)  
Dance Fever defeated Rumble (Interference from Overdrive)  
Sparkler defeated Twist (NUDITY) (But lost in the end due to RAPE)  
Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser defeated Gizmo (Pinfall)  
Rarity vs Colgate ended in a Draw  
Snips, Snails, and Sunset Shimmer defeated Flash Sentry, Shining Armor, and Cadance

Matches for Proving Grounds:  
Eternal Women's World Championship: Twilight Sparkle vs Lightning Dust (C)  
Champion of Carnage: Overdrive vs Rumble  
Crater Chick Championship: Sunset Shimmer vs Cadance  
Chick Combo Championship: Berry Punch & Scootaloo vs Silver Spoon & Turf  
Combo of Carnage Championship: Gustave Le Grand & Fancy Pants vs Happy Trails & Braeburn (Inter-Promotional)  
Intergender Match: Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser vs Hugh Jelly, Clip Clop, and Midnight Strike  
Snips & Snails vs Flash Sentry & Shining Armor


	30. Sublime - 1-26-14

-The pyro blasts off, the fans cheer louder than ever knowing the Proving Grounds in near-  
Dr. Whooves: Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to this edition of Sublime, where Proving Grounds is just around the corner. Tonight's line up includes a last minute number one contender's match to determine who will face Thunderlane for the World Brawler's Chamionship and the semi-finals of the World Fighter's Championship tournament.  
*Redacted Theme*  
-Crowd boos-  
Discord: And here comes our Sublime Tag Team Champions, Beauty Shot.  
-Photo Finish and Pretty Vision enter the ring, proudly wearing their title belts-  
Photo Finish: Oh no, please, do not let me interrupt your petty booing. It's amusing to me.  
-Chants of "You Suck! You Suck! You Suck!" are heard, but eventually die down as they get no further reaction from Photo Finish-  
Photo Finish: Now that you all have finally shut your ugly mouths, it's my turn to speak. I have graced you all with my presence in the ring so you may bask in the success of Sublime's dominant and only notable tag team. As I'm sure you all have seen, this show is seriously lacking in the tag team talent department. Let's take one look at our other teams: The Ghost Girls? Pathetic...they can't fight, they have no good looks to show off, and lastly there is no reason for anybody to care about them. Octavia and Vinyl Scratch? They have a minor amount of fighting ability, but are oh so stupid. I could outwit them every single week if necessary. Oh, and let's not forget Beauty Shot's opponents for the upcoming Pay-Per-View, Aloe and Lotus Blossom. The most pathetic of them all, they care more about their well polished nails then they do about winning, they wouldn't of even gotten to this point without our help. Defeating them will be the easiest thing yet.  
*Redacted Theme*  
Dr. Whooves: Thank God, here comes Octavia and Vinyl Scratch to shut this woman up.  
Vinyl Scratch: What are you out here bragging about Photo Finish? You've only had ONE victory, and you cheated to get it.  
Photo Finish: It's still one more victory than you two have earned so far. Also our, quote un-quote, "Cheating" is what got us this. *Taps Title belt*  
Pretty Vision: Yeah, we deserve these!  
Photo Finish: Silence, I will handle this.  
Pretty Vision: Sorry...  
Vinyl Scratch: Why don't you let her talk? She seems a lot smarter than you are.  
Photo Finish: I'd like to see if you have the nerve to insult me from inside the ring.  
Vinyl Scratch: Have it your way. -Her and Octavia begin approaching the ring-  
Discord: Very bad idea. I already know how this is going to go down.  
Dr. Whooves: Care to enlighten us?  
Discord: That would be spoiling.  
-Vinyl Scratch and Octavia enter the ring-  
Vinyl Scratch: Alright, you want insults? You're nothing but a cheating hack, I don't think you could win a single match without doing something dirty, and Octavia and I are going to prove that tonight. We've already went to General Manager Celestia, and we're facing you in the main event tonight.  
Photo Finish: I look forward to it. *Removes title belt* But I'd like to see how well you fight after this.  
-Photo Finish swings her title belt at Vinyl Scratch, but she ducks under and hits *Redacted*, Pretty Vision tries to get away in confusion but is hit by *Redacted* from Octavia-  
Dr. Whooves: I think this is the first time on Sublime we've seen Beauty Shot not in control, tonight's main event could end up being a big momentum breaker for them. Although Octavia was strangely quiet during all this time.  
Discord: She didn't have the chance to talk because Vinyl wouldn't shut her big mouth.  
Dr. Whooves: Let's just hope her speaking ability isn't any indication of her wrestling ability tonight. Regardless, it's nearly time for our first match. A rematch of a battle from week one, where Braeburn and Happy Trails defeated Canterlot Class to become the number one contenders for the Combos of Carnage tag team titles. A win here tonight will certainly grant some momentum.  
Discord: Which they already started to build on this week's edition of Monday night Lunacy.  
-A replay of Braeburn and Happy Trail's attack on EGO from Lunacy plays on the titantron-  
*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: Approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 398 pounds, Canterlot Class!  
Dr. Whooves: Here comes Canterlot Class, and both Prince Blueblood and Hoity Toity look hungry for revenge.  
*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: And their opponents, weighing in at a combined 409 pounds, the team of Braeburn and Happy Trails!  
-Braeburn and Happy Trails make their way down to the ring, clearly having the fans behind them-  
Match 1: Canterlot Class vs. Braeburn and Happy Trails  
*9 Minutes later*  
-Braeburn and Happy Trails are on the verge of victory when Hoity Toity pushes the referee out of the ring from behind, temporarily knocking him out, Prince Blueblood then hits Happy Trails upside the head with his scepter, Braeburn moves in to help his partner but is hit with *Redacted* by Hoity Toity, the ref gets back up and re-enters the ring as Prince Blueblood pins Happy Trails-  
*1...2...3!*  
-Loud booing-  
Announcer: Here are your winners, Canterlot Class!  
Dr. Whooves: Well, as cheap of a revenge as it was, Canterlot Class has won their rematch.  
Discord: There's no better way to win than cheaply. Who wants a costly victory?  
-Canterlot Class exits the ring with arrogant smirks plastered on their faces-  
*Commercial*  
-The camera cuts to backstage where Babs Seed is sitting on a sofa, casually sipping soda and watching TV, Commander Hurricane enters the room-  
Commander Hurricane: Attention peasant, I have a job for you.  
Babs Seed: Huh? Oh it's you...what do ya want?  
Commander Hurricane: I have a rather large gladiator match to deal with at the gathering this Sunday, with 9 other opponents I may require reinforcements. Time to repay your debt.  
Babs Seed: Awww...what's da matter? Big bad warrior needs her hand held? Get ya guards to do it, there's nothin' in this deal for me.  
-Commander Hurricane grabs Babs Seed by the collar of her shirt and lifts her into the air, spilling her soda in the process-  
Commander Hurricane: Do not cross me you fool...I could easily do to you the same thing I did to your rival.  
Babs Seed: Ok...ok...I'll help ya if ya need it...just put me down...Jesus Christ.  
-Commander Hurricane roughly drops Babs Seed-  
Commander Hurricane: Remember your place. -Walks out-  
-Babs Seed sits there looking ruffled and frowns down at what's left of her drink-  
Babs Seed: She spilled my soda...  
*She felt the wind and longed to follow*  
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, approaching the ring, accompanied by Soarin, standing six foot tall and weighing 159 pounds, from Cloudsdale, Spitfire!  
-Spitfire and Soarin make their way down to the ring together-  
Spitfire: Try to pay attention to the MATCH this time and maybe you might actually WIN your next one.  
Soarin: Hey now...I...uhhh...umm...yeah, I got nothing to argue with.  
-Spitfire kisses Soarin and then enters the ring-  
Soarin: She tells me to pay attention to the match and then she does THAT.  
*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: Approaching the ring, from Loneyville, standing five foot, seven inches tall and weighing in at 150 pounds, Nurse Redheart!  
Match 2: Spitfire vs. Nurse Redheart  
*5 minutes later*  
-Spitfire hits *Redacted* on Nurse Redheart and pins-  
*1...2...3!*  
Announcer: Here is your winner, Spitfire!  
-Spitfire slides out of the ring-  
Spitfire: Hope you watched and learned.  
Soarin: Oh yeah, I payed real good attention...*Mumbles* but not to the match. Hehe.  
Dr. Whooves: What a dominant performance by Spitfire tonight, she'll be one to watch in that Battle Royal at Proving Grounds.  
Discord: Pfftt...like anyone could be Commander Hurricane.  
Dr. Whooves: Why Commander Hurricane?  
Discord: She is supreme overlord, or over-lady, whatever...  
Dr. Whooves: Oh please.  
*Now trending on Twitter: #SpilledSoda #CanterlotClass #"Paying attention"*  
Discord: About to begin is our number one contender's match for the World Brawler's Championship, and I heard rumors we have a rather unique wrestler debuting tonight.  
Dr. Whooves: As if we don't have enough "unique" characters already.  
*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: And now approaching the ring, from Manhattan, weighing in at 197 pounds, standing five foot, seven inches tall, Pipsqueak!  
-Pipsqueak enters the ring dressed up like a pirate, eye-patch and all, there's a few cheers, but mostly laughs-  
Discord: Oh would you look at that? A British Pirate!  
Dr. Whooves: Just shut up.  
-The sound of flames fill the arena, followed by vaguely creepy music in the background, Doughnut Joe enters the arena with a "glazed over" look in his eyes,behind him he pulls something on wheels covered by a giant table cloth-  
Dr. Whooves: Is that Doughnut Joe? The hell? And I thought Pipsqueak was our "unique wrestler"!  
Discord: This will undoubtedly be good.  
Match 3: Pipsqueak vs. Doughnut Joe  
Dr. Whooves: It looks like were now being joined by the current World Brawler's Champion, Thunderlane.  
Thunderlane: Don't mind me, I'm just here to watch the freak-show.  
Discord: Which one of these two would you be more scared to end up in the ring with at Proving Grounds?  
Thunderlane: Scared isn't the right word Discord, I might be confused by all the weirdness for a moment, but I will not be for one second intimidated by either of them.  
*12 minutes later*  
-Pipsqueak is hit by *Pre-Heat!* and is stumbling backwards, giving Doughnut Joe the chance to hit *Baker's Dozen* on him, Pipsqueak goes down and Doughnut Joe takes the pin-  
*1...2...3*  
Announcer: Here's your winner, and the number one contender for the World Brawler's Championship, Dou-  
-Doughnut Joe takes the mic away from the announcer-  
Doughnut Joe: I am not Doughnut Joe...from now on I will be known as...the Underrrrrr Bakerrrrrr!  
-Under Baker leaves the ring and removes the table cloth from the thing he rolled in, revealing a giant fake oven filled with doughnuts and other assorted pastries, he then re-enters the ring and picks up Pipsqueak, proceeding to toss him into the oven-  
Under Baker: Rrrrrrest...in...PASTRIES!  
-Under Baker suddenly turns around and gives Thunderlane a creepy smile-  
Thunderlane: Uhhh...I just remembered I had a really important thing to get to...I'll be going now.  
-Thunderlane leaves as Under Baker continues to be creepy-  
Dr. Whooves: That was the most bizarre thing I've yet seen on Sublime.  
Discord: I'm glad Under Baker showed up, finally somebody I can relate to!  
Dr. Whooves: You should quit commentary and join him in a tag team.  
Discord: Nah, somebody has to balance your BORING blabbing out.  
*Commercial*  
-Commander Hurricane enters Celestia's office backstage-  
Commander Hurricane: You summoned me?  
Celestia: Yes, I did. We have a few things to discuss.  
Commander Hurricane: Like your surrendering command of Sublime to me?  
Celestia: Not in this life. Sit down.  
-Commander Hurricane sneers but takes a seat-  
Celestia: There's been some...concern...from your fellow wrestlers about your behavior backstage.  
Commander Hurricane: They should be concerned, but what exactly are they crying about?  
Celestia: Apparently you don't do much but walk around with your guards aggressively intimidating others to try and get what you want.  
Commander Hurricane: And? I'm trying to establish dominance, I'm not the only one.  
Celestia: True, but nobody else here or on Lunacy has a pack of armored guards with weapons. I just wanted to let you know that I've decided that your guards will be banned from ringside at Proving Grounds.  
Commander Hurricane: What? How dare you?! You don't have the authority!  
Celestia: I have every authority. I am General Manager, your rank means nothing "Commander".  
Commander Hurricane: Grrrrrr...fine! I have a backup plan installed anyways.  
-Commander Hurricane storms out of the office, Celestia returns to her paperwork undisturbed-  
-The camera switches to backstage, just behind the arena, where Rainbow Dash and Applejack meet up-  
Applejack: Ah had the feelin' ah'd be runnin' into ya sometime durin' this tournament.  
Rainbow Dash: Honestly I'd much rather be fighting Trixie, but at least you'll put up a better fight. It'll make a more awesome victory to go into Proving Grounds with.  
Applejack: Pfttt..ya speak like you're actually gonna win.  
Rainbow Dash: Of course I will, you might be a friend, but I'm going all in.  
Applejack: We'll see about that.  
-The two give each other competitive glares before going separate ways-  
*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one-fall, and is part of the semi-finals of the World Fighter's Championship tournament, now making her way to the ring, weighing 151 pounds, standing five foot, ten inches tall, from Loneyville, Applejack!  
*You see me soaring through the sky,I see you below as you walk on by*  
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, on her way to the ring, from Clouds dale, weighing 125 pounds, standing five foot, six inches tall. Rainbow Dash!  
Match 4: Tournament Match, Applejack vs. Rainbow Dash  
*18 minutes later*  
Dr. Whooves: This has been an incredible display of skill by both competitors thus far, both these women are showing that they are championship material.  
-Applejack Irish Whips Rainbow Dash into a corner and starts raining down punches on her, she then sets Rainbow Dash up on the top rope and starts setting up for a big move, but Rainbow Dash counters and shoves Applejack down to the mat-  
Dr. Whooves: Rainbow Dash is setting up, I think we know what's coming next.  
*Sonic Raindrop*  
Discord: And that's why you do NOT try and fight a high flyer on the top ropes. It gets you owned.  
-Rainbow Dash follows up the Sonic Raindrop with a pin-  
*1...2...3*  
Announcer: Here is your winner, advancing to the final match of the World Fighter's Tournament at Proving Grounds, Rainbow Dash!  
-Rainbow Dash celebrates in the ring, garnering large amounts of cheers from the crowd-  
*Commercial*  
Dr. Whooves: Last match determined that Rainbow Dash will be going on to Proving Grounds to fight for the World Fighter's Championship, the next match will determine her opponent, will it be Trixie or the latecomer Daring Do?  
*Trixie's music plays, the crowd cheers as the impressive pyro goes off, but boos as she begins to speak*  
Trixie: The following match is part of the semi-finals for the World Fighter's Championship Tournament, now approaching the ring, from the city of Manhattan, standing at an incredible five foot, eleven inches tall, and weighing at a precise 140 pounds, the undoubtable victor of the upcoming fight, the GRRRRRREEEEEEEAT AND POWERRRRRFUL TRRRRRRRRIXIE!  
Dr. Whooves: Trixie has proven herself to be in the upper echelon of Sublime the past few weeks, Daring Do is going to have to struggle for this one, but if she can avoid that deadly Ursa Lock there may be a chance.  
*Never Back Down*  
-Daring Do walks down the ramp, getting nearly as much of a pop as last week, as she makes her way to the ring she signs a few auto-graphs and even throws her explorer's hat into the crowd-  
Match 5: Tournament Match, Trixie vs. Daring Do  
*15 minutes later*  
-Trixie has already kicked out of two of Daring Do's finishers, while Daring Do has been carefully avoiding giving Trixie any chance to use the Ursa Lock up to this point, Daring Do hits *Redacted* on Trixie and heads for the top rope-  
Dr. Whooves: Looks like Daring Do is ready to put Trixie away.  
-Daring Do goes for a high flying move, but Trixie rolls out of the way-  
Discord: High risk, high fail.  
-Trixie moves in for the Ursa Lock, Daring Do tries to frantically get away but is unable to stop Trixie from locking it in-  
Dr. Whooves: Oh no, Trixie has the Ursa Lock, this spells doom for Daring Do.  
-Daring Do puts all her strength into trying to reach the ropes, but to no avail, after about a minute and ten second she taps out-  
Trixie: Here's your winner,by way of submission, moving on to the finals at Proving Grounds, the future World Fighter's Champion, the GRRRREEEEAT AND POWERRRRFULL TRRRRIXIE!  
-Trixie leaves the ring, afterwards Commander Hurricane emerges with her entourage and surrounds the weakened Daring Do in the ring-  
Dr. Whooves: Oh God, leave the poor woman alone. She's had enough.  
Discord: One doesn't defy Commander Hurricane and get away with it.  
Commander Hurricane: On your feet Plebeian!  
-Daring Do slowly manages to stand, only to be immediately hit with Commander Hurricane's helmet, Commander Hurricane takes off the turnbuckle padding and drags Daring Do over to it and starts slamming her face into it repeatedly, eventually causing her to bleed, Commander Hurricane then throws her out of the ring and climbs out of the ring herself to grab a steel chair-  
Dr. Whooves: Commander Hurricane is just psychotic, there's no call for this brutality!  
-After working Daring Do over with the steel chair Commander Hurricane has two of her guards carry Daring Do over towards the announce table, they lift her high up into the air before slamming her through it-  
-Very loud boos fill the arena-  
-Commander Hurricane re-enters the ring and picks up a mic-  
Commander Hurricane: Let me give you surfs a quick history lesson. A long time ago I was the leader of the greatest empire Equestria ever knew, an empire that was glorious, respected, and feared! It was an empire that was eventually overthrown by plebeians like her! *Points at Daring Do* Now I have the chance to build a new empire, and this time history will not repeat itself. This new empire will not be stopped by anyone, definitely not pathetic weaklings like your little hero Daring Do! At Proving Grounds, I will brutalize every single opponent in a similar manner if it's what I must do. Commander Hurricane will rule Sublime, one championship at a time.  
Discord: The Commander has spoken, now our sponsors take their turn. We'll be back soon for our main event, Beauty Shot vs. Octavia and Vinyl Scratch  
*Commercial*  
*Dubstep/Classical Mix*  
Announcer: The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall, now approaching the ring, weighing a combined 290 pounds, the team of Octavia and Vinyl Scratch!  
Dr. Whooves: This is another rematch from the first week of Sublime, where Beauty Shot defeated Octavia and Vinyl Scratch through various underhanded means, this is Octavia and Vinyl's chance for revenge and to soften up Beauty Shot for Aloe and Lotus Blossom.  
*Redacted Theme*  
Announcer: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 282 pounds, Beauty Shot!  
Main Event: Beauty Shot vs. Vinyl Scratch and Octavia  
*21 Minutes later*  
-Vinyl Scratch is hit by *Redacted* from Photo Finish-  
*1...2...-Kick-out!-*  
Dr. Whooves: Vinyl just barely hanging on.  
-Vinyl Scratch crawls towards the ropes, desperate to make the tag, but at the last second Octavia jumps down from the ropes and starts walking away, the crowd boos her-  
Dr. Whooves: What?!  
Discord: -Laughs- That's teamwork right there.  
Dr. Whooves: I can't believe this, Octavia is leaving her tag team partner to suffer at the hands of Beauty Shot.  
-Photo Finish smiles cruelly-  
Photo Finish: Look at that Vinyl Scratch, your partner made the smart move and left, now you're all alone.  
-Photo Finish picks Vinyl Scratch up and hits *Redacted* again, and goes for another pin-  
*1...2...3!*  
Announcer: Here are your winners, Beauty Shot!  
Dr. Whooves: I just don't believe it...Octavia betrayed her best friend, for no good reason!  
Discord: There's always a reason, you probably won't like it though.  
Dr. Whooves: Nothing could justify that. But it looks like an explanation will have to wait for next week, we're out of time. We'll see you at Proving Grounds!  
-The show ends with Beauty Shot taunting Vinyl Scratch-  
Match Results:  
Match 1: Canterlot Class vs. Braeburn and Happy Trails Canterlot Class won  
Match 2: Spitfire vs. Nurse Redheart Spitfire won  
Match 3: Pipsqueak vs. Under Baker Under Baker won  
Match 4: Tournament Match, Applejack vs. Rainbow Dash Rainbow Dash won  
Match 5: Tournament Match, Trixie vs. Daring Do Trixie won  
Main Event: Beauty Shot vs. Octavia and Vinyl Scratch Beauty Shot won  
Tournament Status:  
Applejack and Daring Do eliminated  
Rainbow Dash and Trixie advancing to finals  
Proving Grounds Matches:  
World Fighter's Championship: Rainbow Dash vs. Trixie  
World Brawler's Championship: Thunderlane vs. Under Baker  
Sublime Tag Team Championship: Beauty Shot vs. Aloe and Lotus Blossom  
International Championship: Ten Woman Battle Royal: Commander Hurricane vs. Pinkie Pie vs. Fluttershy vs. Sweet Tooth vs. Cheerilee vs. Inkie Pie vs. Blinkie Pie vs. Spitfire vs. Applejack vs. Daring Do  
Steel Cage Match: Apple Bloom vs. Babs Seed  
Combos of Carnage Tag Team Championship: Braeburn and Happy Trails vs. EGO (Inter-Promotional)


End file.
